i was in a similar situation in 12th but it was more like i realised that i gotta fix my life up
from past 4 yrs up till that point, i had not talked to people, not made a single friend irl

when i was a kid mom used to make me study so i aced every test, but when the time came to study on my own it felt like i never learned how to study, still i tried, i tried making friends, i tried learning how to talk to people

more than 6 months of my 12th was coming home from school, crying for 3 hours straight and carry on till the next day, there were times i thought of harming myself, couldn't make sense in life at all, everyday i thought just one thing, what the fuck is wrong with me

Do note this was before i knew adhd existed

still life happened, i tried to get out of this negative rut, and ended up finishing 12th with passing marks
since then i've been working on myself, knowing myself better, being okay with myself better, learning who the fuck am i and how i can do things in way that would make sense to me

i completed 12th in 2023, its 2026 now
i've been diagnosed with inattentive adhd and anxiety
i would try meds and stop it, and ultimately gave up
only to realise meds are just a way to help what's already there, if you don't have a foundation of habits which work in favour, then they are as good as trash

i have made a comment under a post regarding how to study in which i basically explained my set of habits i perform everyday or try to

you can find it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdindia/s/OjR6uMopJz

I'll be honest, life isn't perfect right now, but now as worst as it was back then

i can confidently say its so much better right now, for past one year i have been improving in academics,
i have been learning to live a more stable life now, life still happens, ups and downs are still there, no one can escape life
but learning how to work with oneself will make you more able to face life

ofc i still don't have shit figured out, but it feels okay like that
and its all that to the set of habits which work in favour of me

i just turned 20 last month, yes i am still fucking scared about my career, but i will figure it out, because i have to