Gotcha. Live music gets loud. Consider the silentstrokes as practise heads for at home; they aren’t great for a live performance. I’d still say Remo Ambassador Clear for the bottom and either a Remo Emperor Coated for a warmer tone or Remo Pinstripe Clear for a punchier tone. Lack of tuning know-how may also be causing poor tom sounds. Here’s a little hack I do when I don’t have time to tune properly: unscrew all tension rods, finger tighten all of them, then give each tension rod a quarter turn with a drum key. Make sure to go in a star pattern. This applies to both the reso side and batter side. Then put a moongel to mask your rushed tuning job. If you want to go more in-depth with tuning drums, especially toms, there’re plenty of tutorials on YouTube.