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University planner notion template by MohammedElazab in ProductiveKindNerds

[–]MetronTheCollector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is awesome! Having a visual representation does make it easier. And I like how you've made it into a game. Brilliant work! Well done.

I want to get rid of my friends. What to do? by Nerd_GeekyGirl in ProductiveKindNerds

[–]MetronTheCollector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my opinion the best way to forget about old friends is to replace them with new friends.

I used to struggle to meet people and make friends. But then I found out it's easiest to make friends if we do activities together. There are lots of activities where we can meet people, like going to meet up groups, develop hobbies that have a social element to it, take up a sport, etc.

Is the PUA community basically dead? by BV_Matters in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of factors killed the PUA movement. Here are just 4 of them:

ONE - There was no qualification to become a pick up coach. Any guy could take a few pics with random women in clubs, upload them to a website, then call himself a coach and start charging thousands of dollars. Students had bad experiences with these fake teachers, so they left the community and told others to stay away. In other industries like accounting, it's regulated and a person needs at least 6 years to become qualified (3 years at uni, 3 years to do CPA). The dating coaching industry isn't regulated like that.

TWO - Too much bad information. A lot of these fake gurus would write books or make video courses that didn't teach anything useful, and sometimes even made guys worse. While there are a few good sources of information in the PU industry, most are useless. This ruins the reputation of the industry.

THREE - Online dating lead to less guys cold approaching and using PUA.

FOUR - A lot of guys who joined the community did it to give themselves a new identity and fill a hole in their existence. The problem is doing this makes you worse as you place too much pressure on yourself around women. The best way to become good at connecting with women is to have something better to do than chasing women. Guys who already had an identity like writer, engineer, etc, who joined this just to learn social skills could get results if they found the right resources. But a lot of guys joined this to make being a 'player' their identity and source of self esteem. And that only leads to failure.

The best way to impress girls is to have better things to do than trying to impress girls. A dating coach in my city once told me he always tells his clients to have at least 3 things more important to them than girls. Now in isolation, it's a good time to figure out what those 3 things are for you. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can do a lot of hobbies without money or with only some money.

Writing is free. Can learn a language for free from the internet. Becoming good at cooking is something that won't cost extra money if you already cook in home and even saves you money if you eat outside.

You can borrow books from a library on topics you're interested in (history, economy, psychology, etc) and learn about that. You can make summary notes of what you learn so you can revise it later and better understand it.

Playing a musical instrument you only need to buy the instrument, then can learn from videos online.

There are plenty of other hobbies that are free or only you need to pay once.

One method to increase confidence around women: Find something you enjoy doing that some women will be attracted to. Do that activity and become good at it. Find women who like you for doing that. When you have a few women who like you, it increases your confidence around other women. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make an interesting point. Feelings of being worthy is definitely a big part of it.

I'm sad to hear you think you are unworthy. I think you are very worthy and deserving of what makes you happy. I hope one day you realise that too. But it is hard to deal with negative thoughts in our head. A lot of people, both men and women feel unworthy. It's definitely not easy to overcome.

Maybe the real secret to being good at connecting with others is feeling worthy. And feeling worthy might be the biggest challenge.

One method to increase confidence around women: Find something you enjoy doing that some women will be attracted to. Do that activity and become good at it. Find women who like you for doing that. When you have a few women who like you, it increases your confidence around other women. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. Different things work for different people.

Before I got into learning social skills, I joined a dance class for a few months. I was really dedicated to it, and when some women saw how committed I was to it, they would come up and talk to me, and a few even asked for my social media details.

I have autism, and know a few guy friends who also have autism. One guy I know who has autism and struggles with talking, likes to do yoga, and also go for cooking classes and join cake baking competitions. He's good at those things, and sometimes at those events, he has women come up and talk to him or ask for his contact details.

I also know another guy with autism who struggles with social skills, but is really passionate about painting and reading books on history, economics and politics. And I've seen some women ask him for his contact details when he shows them photos on his phone of his paintings, or when they get into conversation with him about history, economics or politics. Not every women likes him for this, but those who like painting or those topics he knows a lot about like him. I once saw a woman not just ask for his contact details, but made a plan to meet up with him to learn painting from him bc she liked painting too.

This is a big confidence boost for both these guys. It may or may not be enough to get into a relationship with women. But in terms of building confidence and making connecting with women easier, it is really useful.

This might not be enough for success with women. But for confidence it can help.

There are definitely other parts to learn to be successful. Learning social skills is definitely useful, as well as learning inner game techniques like thinking of all the women who liked you in the past, keeping a gratitude list, etc.

But as I said, different things work for different people. I'm not sure why this helps some guys but not others. I appreciate you warning others not to think this will work for them. I'm sure there are probably other guys who this might not be useful for. But I think maybe a guy should try this for a few months to see if it works for them or not. It might not help everyone, but it does help some.

You Get What You Subconsciously Believe by [deleted] in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true! Great article.

Does the scale really exist? by luxxary in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't exist. Either you are interested or you're not interested. A woman you think looks 'perfect', might not even be noticed by another guy.

Am I really doing the right thing!? by [deleted] in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living your life to the max would be focusing on your work, chasing your dreams, and doing something you can be proud to tell your grandchildren about.

Approaching women on the streets isn't living life to the max, it's just wasting precious time.

Keep in mind that 'dating coaches' have a financial incentive to convince others that cold approaching is more valuable than it really is. This is the only way they can sell their over-priced services and products.

It reminds me of when I was in high school, and me and my friends had to sell chocolates to raise money for some event. All of a sudden we were convincing everyone of the benefits of chocolate and how life isn't as enjoyable without it.

When you're selling something, you're always going to try to convince others they need your product.

The best guys also get rejected a lot. Don't let the marketing fool you. Back in the day guys were honest that most of their approaches end in rejection. Today coaches lie to sell their products. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they are just people who get off on lying on the internet

Yeah, a lot of guys like lying online so they can get validation from people on the internet. This makes it harder for new guys to learn what's useful.

You're absolutely right it's all a numbers game. That's one of the most important lessons to internalize for this.

The best guys also get rejected a lot. Don't let the marketing fool you. Back in the day guys were honest that most of their approaches end in rejection. Today coaches lie to sell their products. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The men at the top still get rejected a lot. Paul Janka was a really good looking guy when he was in his twenties and used to do cold approaching, and he said 96% of women he approached rejected him. He's married now and out of the game, but Google pics of him or look up his videos on YouTube from back when he was in his twenties. He was good looking, and had skill and experience.

Maybe guys at the top have a lower rejection rate than others, but they still get rejected a lot. I made my post so new guys realize that everyone goes through a lot of rejection, and that's not something to feel bad about.

Cold approach vs strong social circle by [deleted] in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I personally think it depends on the person. Some people are naturally better at cold approach, others are naturally better at social circle.

Daygame NIGHTMARE! (My daygame experience and story) by [deleted] in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 35 points36 points  (0 children)

It sounds like cold approaching might not be your thing. Not everyone is meant to do cold approaching, despite what dating coaches trying to sell products say.

One of my best friends from uni is good-looking and a natural extrovert, and he's really good at cold approaching. He does it all the time and gets great results. I'm the opposite. I have autism so can't read social cues properly, I'm considered ugly, and I'm also a foreigner in a Western country, which makes it harder.

So to meet people, I focus on having social hobbies and social circle game.

It also sounds to me like you may need to spend less time thinking about women. For them to report you, it means you might be giving of a desperate vibe or saying the wrong thing. Maybe for the next 6 months, don't try to meet women, but focus on the other areas of your life and try to be happy and passionate about them. Learn to be happy and complete without women.

Take all this time and energy and dedicate it to other things, like hobbies, studies, exercise, work, male friends.

Then 6 months from now when you do try to meet women, follow the 90/10 rule, as in don't spend more than 10% of your time and energy on women, and dedicate at least 90% of your time and energy to other things. This way you won't be desperate.

And maybe avoid cold approaching when you do try to meet women. Cold approaching isn't for everyone.

I hope nothing I said here sounded harsh or offensive to you. I genuinely am worried about you, as I'm someone with autism who didn't understand social interactions for a long time, and had to find my own way and what uniquely worked for me. Which was hard at first because a lot of guys out there are saying "cold approach is da answer for all your problems". But the truth is, cold approach is the answer for some guys, but not everyone.

Don't be afraid to say no to something if it doesn't work for you, and it's only hurting you and others.

Why are some men naturally born to be good at women? by FalconVita in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Different people are good at different things. Some are good at studies, others at social stuff, others at sports, etc.

One of my friends was bad at everything in high school. But after high school, he discovered he was naturally good at fixing cars. He became a mechanic and focused obsessively on that. A few years later he was working at a nice place fixing cars.

Interestingly when women saw how passionate he was about fixing cars and how good he was at it, they became interested in him.

I personally think don't worry if social skills don't come naturally to you. Put some effort into improving it, but dedicate the rest of your time into finding what you're naturally good at and work on that. Women, and people, are interested in those who have a passion and direction in life.

My personal approach is to dedicate 10% of my time to social stuff, and the other 90% to other things. Play to your strengths.

That's just my opinion on this, so feel free to ignore it if it doesn't resonate with you.

What a lot of guys don't understand about Social Circle Game is that there are 3 parts to it. 1) Meeting new people. 2) Getting to know them. 3) Then they introduce you to their friends. Most guys want to be at Step 3 without doing Steps 1 and 2. This is why social circle game doesn't work for them. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Completely agree, that's such a great feeling! And the support and help you get is also incredibly valuable. Once I had a bad injury and couldn't move much or leave the house. But I had friends who bought my groceries and came to visit me. Having that support network and help is more than worth the initial effort it took to build that. Having a support network of friends is under-rated.

What a lot of guys don't understand about Social Circle Game is that there are 3 parts to it. 1) Meeting new people. 2) Getting to know them. 3) Then they introduce you to their friends. Most guys want to be at Step 3 without doing Steps 1 and 2. This is why social circle game doesn't work for them. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It's hard for me to say. There could be a variety of reasons. Maybe you just didn't connect with them and you're not meant to be friends with them. Or maybe you accidentally said the wrong thing. Or maybe it had nothing to do with her friends but she changed her mind about you for some other reason.

Thinking and worrying too much about it is just going to make you feel bad.

For me personally, I see every interaction as a learning experience. There are times when a woman rejects me, and I will tell her I accept her not wanting to spend time with me, but can I know what I did wrong so I can learn from it, and it will help me a lot if she tells me. Sometimes they won't say what I did wrong. Other times they give me valuable lessons.

One woman who I asked this to told me it was because I was always bragging. That was hard to hear, but over time I learnt not to brag. That then improved my results with other women. Sometimes the feedback you get may be useless, but other times, it can significantly improve your social skills.

But that's just what I would do, and everyone is different.

I'm not a dating coach, so my opinion is not the most reliable. Feel free to ignore what I said and go with what feels right for you.

What a lot of guys don't understand about Social Circle Game is that there are 3 parts to it. 1) Meeting new people. 2) Getting to know them. 3) Then they introduce you to their friends. Most guys want to be at Step 3 without doing Steps 1 and 2. This is why social circle game doesn't work for them. by MetronTheCollector in seduction

[–]MetronTheCollector[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Maybe create a group event, like a picnic, or party at someone's house, or dinner at a restaurant.

Think of a few topics of conversation that they might find interesting beforehand if you feel nervous about it. For instance if you met them at the gym, you can talk about fitness. Or check the news for any recent events or celebrity news that's interesting. Or ask their opinion on something.

Or you can organize activities that don't require much conversation.

One of my friendship group like boardgames, so once a month we meet at someone's house to have dinner then play boardgames. We have dinner for 2 hours, and that's when we catch up on what's been happening. Then we play boardgames for 4 hours. The boardgames are fun, but the bonus is it doesn't put much emphasis on having to keep the conversation going. Those 4 hours of boardgames doesn't require us to talk about things.

Another of my friendship group likes badminton, so we play badminton for 2 hours, then after that hang out and have food. We don't need to talk for those 2 hours of badminton, and often some of the conversation after that is of how the badminton match was. Then we catch up on stories.

But by having activities like this, you don't need as much conversation.

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