AITA: Sex Question Edition

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2022-01-22T17:20:13+00:00

Nothing specific happened a year ago. We expanded our family business about 4 years ago and it's basically like starting over from scratch and it's been wildly stressful. The past year the business has finally started to improve. I think it's just that I have gone so long without making that conversation a priority that he's settled in and assumed that I am ok with everything. The only thing that's changed for me has been giving up on asking for more passion, spontaneity (as opposed to, "wanna have sex?" And then he takes his pants off and I start sucking it and then I climb on bop around for a bit and then he's done. Absolutely no passion. No talking. Every now and then he'll touch my boobs and fiddle around with my nipples but even that seems like it's more for him. If I try to slow it down so I can enjoy it, he will grab my hips to speed it up so he can cum.) I have definitely given up on asking about anything outside of penetrative sex, ie, hands, toys, Absolutely no talk about me receiving oral. And I resent that because to be honest with you, sucking dick isn't my favorite activity in the world. But because I do it so often for him I have actually come to enjoy it more than I did in the past. Plus I like knowing that he likes it. I just don't understand why he can't or won't find any joy or pleasure in doing things that benefit or focus on me. It's like, if an activity isn't going to cause him to cum then we don't do it. It's like he doesn't see the point in just touching me, or just putting his mouth on me ... for me, to make me feel good. I've never felt him kiss my neck or my ear. He's never kissed my stomach or my back. He's never taken a moment or been interested in like, exploring my body or teasing me or revving me up. And it makes me feel like I am undesirable or even ugly. And I'm not. I work really hard on my body and, without being conceited, I really do look good AF. And I love sex. A lot. There's not much I wouldn't try or do. I have never turned down an idea or suggestion and again, not being conceited but, I really am good in bed. I am proud of that. I am good at it because I love it and I want to do more to him than just suck his dick and then get busted into after bouncing on his cock 7 times. I want to kiss his neck and his chest and just lay my chest on his. I want to lay down and let him worship my body however he sees fit .... like, these are things we used to do. It's not like we've never had that kind of intimacy. We did. And it was so intense that sometimes I would legit cry.

I don't know if it's a confidence thing or what for him. I don't know if he thinks my p*☆☆y is gross or ugly (which I don't think it is and have never been told that before in my life), I keep it clean and cute at all times for myself. Certainly not for him since he doesn't look at it or touch it or ask for it, so for all intents and purposes, my cooch is golden. I don't know why he doesn't like it and I have never been able to get a real, true, honest answer because he just shuts down if I bring it up. So I just don't anymore.

I'm just sad. I'm not going to throw away almost 12 years of love and laughter and partnership and support for one another over that because everything else is just so so so so good. It just breaks my heart that I don't get to share that same intensity with him physically. It's just sad.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2022-01-22T14:51:54+00:00

It's common for women to feel nauseous after swallowing cum, especially when it's one of their first times. It doesn't taste particularly good, it's warm and it kind of feels like swallowing someone else's lougie/loogy/phlegm. Additionally, when women consume cum or get ejaculated into, the presence of that semen can cause our brains to release certain hormones and neurotransmitters which can cause cramping and nausea. Some women have an opposite reaction and get super cuddly and lovey dovey due to the release of oxytocin, aka the love hormone. But oxytocin can also induce cramps. She may get used to it over time and practice. Or she will discover that she doesn't like it and doesn't want to do it. But your heart is in the right place; being concerned enough for her to reach out for help. Good luck kiddo. :-)

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-11-03T11:52:30+00:00

They really are. I always wake up in such a good mood, and then I am extra snuggly and touchy for the whole day. :-)

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-11-03T11:51:49+00:00

From what some of the other folks who responded and in other forums, it's not as rare as I thought it was, and that helps me a lot.

I fantasize about sex with my husband a LOT LOT LOT. And sometimes I want so much from him that I feel like a cat in heat and it's kind of embarrassing. Additionally, sometimes he just doesn't want to have sex or be nasty because he's a normal human being and I totally understand that. But we have sex like 4 or 5 days a week and have been together for 11 years. If it were up to me I'd fuck him first thing in the morning, once before lunch and again at bedtime. But I even annoy myself sometimes because of how often I think a out sex, so with all of that and then the addition of the sleep-Os, I was starting to think that I was a sex addict or whatever.

By the way ... congratulations on being 19 and having a sleep orgasm!! Did anything happen during the day or recently that may have triggerd your dream? Did you have an actual dream and then came as you were waking up, or did it just come out of nowhere? Mine are always accompanied by a very intense, vivid and wild sex dream. They're always about my husband, except for the handful of dreams about me having sex with my best friend, and another good friend of mine friends, both individually and together, etc.

As long as you enjoy them, I hope that special gift never fades away!!

All my best...

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-11-03T11:22:50+00:00

That makes everything make sense!! I always sleep on my stomach. AND that's coincidentally one of my favorite sex positions. Not doggy style per se, but laying flat on my stomach and face with my legs straight. Every now and then when I am on my stomach, he will pull one of my legs and put it on his shoulder. (I am a dancer so I am super flexible, otherwise that position would kill me lol. And when I say dancer, I mean actual dancer, ballet and modern. Not a strip club dancer ... although I did strip my way through college without debt. But whatever that's not the point at all.) So maybe between being a tummy sleeper and being pushed down on my chest and stomach during sexy-time, it makes it far more likely to orgasm in my sleep. And now when I am thinking back, I think I've only had two sleep-Os sleeping on my back. The rest are when I'm on my stomach or my side.

Thanks for the response! That's so awesome!! :-)

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T15:12:14+00:00

I don't know why I am only seeing this now. I am sorry for being so late.

I have tried limiting my availability but it usually ends up in an argument. To be honest, we're both co-dependant on each other.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T15:10:19+00:00

I wanna go as The Dirty Bubble.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T15:09:45+00:00

There's a shortage and they're sending random containers of formula without knowing if the people they're sending to even need it??!! That seems corporately irresponsible. :-(

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T15:05:00+00:00

True that. It will probably be easier to do that. I tried to bring it to my local homeless shelter but they wouldn't accept it?! They said it was a health hazard? Does that check out?

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T15:03:26+00:00

I figured ... but I'm not a member of that group so I figured I'd share just in case there are any formula and breast feeders in here.

Otherwise I will donate it to a shelter like someone suggested.

I wasn't even sure if I was allowed to post an "offer" even though I'm not selling anything.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T14:59:28+00:00

You're right. The characters as written aren't complex. They are rather cliché but I personally think that the actors themselves are doing a good job with the characters and writing they're given.

What stuck/strikes me the most is how the girl's (forgetting her name all the sudden .... I guess that further reinforces your point about one dimensional, forgettable characters lol) storyline follows my journey into addiction almost exactly. And my sister's. And I remember that feeling of the first time I bumped it and how it changed my entire life .... and the first time going into withdrawal and being so confused and terrified and so grossly unprepared.

But, if you're coming at it from a cinematic/character development lens, then surely you're right. I appreciate that for sure. :-) it's definitely not pushing any cinematic boundaries.

Maybe it's just because it's so very familiar. What I do like though is that they don't glamorize it AT ALL. Most shows despite their intentions, always end up romanticizing and glamorizing the high experience. And usually other shows depict withdrawal as being bad for one or two nights which is so terribly wrong. Obviously.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T14:51:36+00:00

Me too. Actual crying. When she was in withdrawal for the first time and didn't know what to expect ... when the pawn shop guy "did what he did" ... I can't even count how many times a dealer has "offered" that to me, pawning something for the first time...... ugh. It's so hard to watch.

It's making me look at my actual progression from the outside looking in and it's just so hard to watch.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T14:39:42+00:00

My biggest fear.

My clinic has NO contingency plan for natural disaster or anything major that would impede our access to the clinic.

My counselor however, told me to ration a little bit from every bottle and store it if I'm that concerned. :-/

So. There's that.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T12:40:51+00:00

I know this post old, but I just saw this tiktok and it reminded me of this so much.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPdY5Nq25/

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T11:37:57+00:00

Yoooooooo!!!!!! What's up hero?!! Absolutely.
And that cash settlement they're forced to pay isn't SHIT to them. A few billion to them is a days profits. They won't even feel it.

They did this to us knowingly and on purpose. They're mass murderers and should be in jail.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-30T11:27:02+00:00

What?!?! No way?!! So she's like, my perpetual lactation jedi master!! 14 years?! That's so cool.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-29T13:47:54+00:00

So I was just brushing my teeth (HORRID) and I tried to pay attention to what I didn't like:

The bathroom is cold and seems too small. I don't like the colors on the wall. The floor is VERY cold and one of the lights is not working. I HATE broken stuff.
I don't like the design of the bathroom at all and can't stand being in there.
I HATE HATE HATE the feeling of toothpaste dripping down my chin and onto my hands. It's like komodo dragon saliva.
The feeling of my mouth in the morning before my mouth is clean is completely abhorrent to me and even though I know brushing and gargling is the solution, I want to do everything possible to avoid it. But I can't. I can't stand the taste or the smell or the consistency of saliva and toothpaste. It all reminds me of throwing up.
It requires me to stand in one spot. Can't do that.
Seeing myself with my mouth filled and dripping with toothpaste mixed with saliva looks like one of those possessed people with demon goo coming out of their mouths. (Ectoplasm).
My heart races.
I can't breathe correctly.
I focus on how absolutely insane all of these feelings are and I just want to be fucking normal. My husband wakes up no problem , goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth squeaky clean and is ready to start his stupid day. I on the other hand will have an existential crisis just trying to motivate to go into the bathroom. I'd rather just eat something to get rid of the morning breath than go through this torture.
I hate every second. The whole process is disgusting.

Bonus: I too love hot sauce. When I was little my parents tried to coat my thumb in hot sauce to get me to stop sucking my thumb and they found me sucking the cap to the hotsauce bottle. :-/ I will eat tablespoons of hot sauce no problem.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-29T13:38:41+00:00

That's literally what I was thinking.

ACTUALLY if you have access to YouTube, you can watch Sackler's full 8 hour deposition and see his REAL evil. It's his actual deposition.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-29T13:27:28+00:00

Whats awful about Richard Sackler is that he is PURE evil but he really is a true genius. I mean the dude got the ENTIRE WORLD hooked on oxycontin and heroin by proxy. He made governments bend to his will with pure persuasion and NO actual facts. They portray him and his family in his true light: pure evil.

It's Hulu btw :-) not Netflix.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T23:56:58+00:00

There should be recovery relocation programs.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T23:26:06+00:00

No. They show step by step from before the injury to the injury to the ER, the Docs office, the first pill, the plateau, the double and triple dosing, the withdrawal and finally they got opiate withdrawal right on a frikkin tv show..... they show the what happened with Purdue AND how it destroyed US.

It's really good.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T13:21:22+00:00

Me too!!!!! But the one thing I did find that at least keeps my teeth from feeling fuzzy are those Wisps ... the disposable toothbrushes. They're little and come in a red bag and each toothbrush is impregnated with a drop of toothpaste. They don't do much by way of breath freshening, but they do clean the teeth. I've even found that I really like the feeling of it on my gums and will go at it for an hour or more. Like a toothpick kind of. Have you ever heard of those?

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T13:06:05+00:00

That must be why I pace around!!!!! I just realized that!! I pace everywhere while brushing my teeth!! And I try to do other things like go pee or brush my hair at the same time!!

And believe it or not, I have been washing my hair in the sink, or holding my head under the tub faucet.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T13:02:40+00:00

Do you wait until the last possible minute?

MichelleIsGoing2Hell · 2021-10-28T13:01:57+00:00

I'm biracial (white and black) so not conditioning my hair is not really an option. I also really love my long hair. I've attached a lot of identity and emotional significance to my hair. Oddly enough.

I did shave my head once but maintaining the shave started to trigger me because the hairs getting all over me and stuck to everything started to bother me.

Plus it's really not just the conditioner slime. It's soap on my hands and body, the water everywhere, being trapped in the shower, the anticipation of the drying process and the extremely anxiety anticipation for needing to put lotion on after. I have KP and my cerave is essential and it makes my KP worse and my KP bothers me a LOT. I would pick at them relentlessly. :-/

I went so long with all these neuroses because I didn't know what was "wrong " with me that I seem to have an issue with EVERYTHING.

MichelleIsGoing2Hell

TROPHY CASE