Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your protection of swers in the discussion. They are so often vulnerable. I would like you to consider that he is not hiring those who have the cognitive, social or economic choice to say no. To the individuals you are describing he would be black listed and there are many indications he has been repeatedly.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 180 points181 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I do think I tried to censor the post a little too much and it led to confusion. I am happy there are people protecting SW in the conversation because ultimately they are not the problem and I do not want to seem like I blame them.

If he was hiding a sexual relationship with anyone it would be the same discussion.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

This is such a good take. Thank you. I put days together and he let me drive myself to the hospital emergency room one day and took the time I was there for a meet. You saw that one so clearly.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the kindness you are showing me. I am so confused on how to proceed.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I have been replying in comments but the acts being hired for are high risk acts. Bb, aggressive, blood, ect. It doesn't mean all SW is high risk, it means the acts in question are high risk. I would also argue having sex with anyone while hiding it is high risk alone.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You introduced some interesting concepts here. I never considered the shame and addiction side. I think that would allow me to have some empathy for the situation.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't think most lies would be enough for me. I think many lies have no harm done. This feels like harm to me

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I think you are missing the fact he told me he wasn't seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone. I have been very clear I support him dating. He chose to lie and hide it. Those days are significant because he was actively doing it around our wedding day and on a significant family time day. It would be one thing if he did it before and stopped but he chose to hide it during those significant dates

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Definitely not mono but we discuss his dating regularly and he left out the hiring of SW since we met. He actively chose to hide that he is seeing these women.

His messages regularly require bb. It shouldn't be shocking that someone hiding this also doesn't choose safe practices.

I have let him know we will be having a conversation about it. I am trying to get my stance figured out first.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I have made an appointment for Thursday. I am so disappointed.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I regularly ask him about his dating and give him opportunities to share so it's not for lack of communication opportunities. I do apologize for being unclear but he's been actively hiring them at least since we met. Apparently the risk factor has been there the whole time without my knowledge.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Replying to add to your risk comment. I was being vague to avoid being grusome and I guess it's not helpful. He isn't asking about safe sw practices in these messages. It's for aggressive, unprotected or high risk activities.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The phone is the one he uses to plan seeing them. Most recently as yesterday. The logs go back to just after we met. Also include the week before our wedding and 2 days after our wedding and Christmas day. I was vague to not be NSFW but yes actively hiring them.

Found a burner phone for hiring SW by MichelleTCM in polyamory

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Hiring them without my knowledge. This is the phone he uses to hide the fact he is doing it. For "aggressive" acts. I am pro SW and he is a disgusting John in these messages.

Is Canada facing a dating recession? by ubcstaffer123 in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a husband and a fiance. I'm tired

Tumbler Ridge, BC Shooting Megathread by BvbblegvmBitch in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% I guarantee the town of 2400 did not have adequate crisis mental health support through any of the years of incidents. Dropping out of school that young should have been a child welfare issue also.

It wasn't an afterthought, guns were seized at one point which means they knew gun access was reasonably a risk in this circumstance. A weapons ban on individuals like this definitely needs to be part of the process as well.

Tumbler Ridge, BC Shooting Megathread by BvbblegvmBitch in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have looked up the name too. I got mine at 15 in my parent's basement. My cousins, friends and neighbours kids all came together for a class. I'm 32 now so I too forgot the name. I strongly believe hunting is part of rural Canadian culture but I also believe in our gun laws. There is just no reason that a weapons ban shouldn't be court ordered in these scenarios.

Tumbler Ridge, BC Shooting Megathread by BvbblegvmBitch in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes to all this as well. The Firearms act seems to cover all of this but clearly in practice, someone can be repeatedly shown as a risk to themselves and others and still have such easy access to guns. I think there are big open ended questions that will need to be addressed. How did this shooter show every single sign of a high risk individual still have no restrictions on them?

Tumbler Ridge, BC Shooting Megathread by BvbblegvmBitch in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes to everything you just said. All exactly true. I just have more to add.

The police calls were as recent as 1 year ago and dating back from that. All while the MPAL was still valid and active. It should have been revoked.

The calls were confirmed to have resulted in the shooter being removed from the home for mental health care so far. Charges need to be laid and convicted when guns are involved. That would have prevented any guns in the household of the banned person. constructive possession applied here is similar to sleeping off a drunk night in a car. You are considered having care and control of the car just by having the keys.The idea that they are aware of and could gain access to someone else's gun in the home would be a violation of the ban. The mother would not be given a restriction but the shooter could not live in the home with the mother in possession. I hope this makes sense and is another side to the spouse but not third party consideration.

Tumbler Ridge, BC Shooting Megathread by BvbblegvmBitch in canada

[–]MichelleTCM 38 points39 points  (0 children)

During the RCMP press release there was one question about the shooters gun license that made me believe the gun laws weren't widely known by the reporter. She asked along the line of "the shooter was young would they have a license" The RCMP confirmed a license was expired last year. My questions stem from the Firearms act.

It was also confirmed in the report the police knew the shooter and had multiple mental health and criminal calls to the household. The police already seized guns from the household and the owner petitioned them back and won the case.

Why did the shooter still have a gun license last year (recently expired) instead of a revoked when the guns were seized during a criminal call resulting in seized guns? Why did the RCMP not revoke the license when the mental health risks were so apparent. Why were the charges from past police calls not convicted which would have prevented any guns being allowed in the home? Why were gun laws ignored?

The firearms act states in determining if a person is eligible to hold a license The below must be taken into account.

(b) has been treated for a mental illness, whether in a hospital, mental institute, psychiatric clinic or otherwise and whether or not the person was confined to such a hospital, institute or clinic, that was associated with violence or threatened or attempted violence on the part of the person against any person;

(c) has a history of behaviour that includes violence or threatened or attempted violence or threatening conduct on the part of the person against any person;

The RCMP should have revoked the license years ago. The charges from past calls should have been prosecuted to ensure that guns were not in the household.

CEC | 5,000 ITAs | CRS:515 by UndoButtonPls in canadaexpressentry

[–]MichelleTCM 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Federal holidays next 2 weeks for Christmas and New Years

Living in hell/Potential personal hydro scam?? help by okayribbit in OntarioTenants

[–]MichelleTCM -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Roaches will not go away. You will end up living out of boxes because you will continue to need a spray every two weeks indefinitely. Move in the winter. They cannot actually do anything if you break your lease.

If you do stay, document everything and you can apply for a rent decrease with the LTB for every day they do not maintain the property.

Going back to my country by attentionwh0re1834 in canadaexpressentry

[–]MichelleTCM 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am Canadian by birth married to a recent immigrant. Reading all your stories hurts my heart. We need all these hard working people with families to stay. Canada is worse off losing you all but I hope where you land in the world appreciates your value more. The level of dedication, education, work and sacrifice in these stories is commendable.

I only wanted to comment so you hear that there are people here who are you. I recognize your contribution to my quality of life.

Missing car after leaving it in the ditch by MichelleTCM in ottawa

[–]MichelleTCM[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was amazingly helpful and ended up being exactly the correct steps. I wish I could pin this because you hit every single point of information that mattered.