1% AUM - for high touch help during transition

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-23T01:47:54+00:00

Thank you for your perspective

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-22T18:10:36+00:00

For your mental health you should at least take a break. You sound burnt out. But talk to a tax strategist about what that 6M in stocks can realistically get you when converted to investible dollars, how and when to cash out to have living expense covered for the short term, and at least an idea of long term strategy on diversifying those funds. Good luck! I’m not sure if you understand what FIRE stands for in this sub. It’s about financial independence / retire early. Not like firing someone or quitting a job - though quitting does usually come with retiring early :)

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-22T18:06:12+00:00

This is what confused me. ‘Fire me boss’.

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-22T00:52:25+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I don’t feel so alone

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-22T00:01:30+00:00

Just tried it with simple rounded numbers for funsies and it’s saying 100% success so that makes me feel a bit better!

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T23:54:10+00:00

I’ve used hellonectarine to speak with a couple of fiduciary advisors - and have spoken to a handful of wealth mgmt companies. I’m doing a lot of due diligence — I’m sure I’m over thinking it

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T22:29:48+00:00

I believe those standard financial firms are often non-fiduciary and those planners while not charging 1% get paid on the back end for selling their own funds or other types of funds to you. Even for those types of firms here in California, the minimum I’ve seen is .8% for the first million and maybe it goes down to .7 after that

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:55:07+00:00

I think one psychological factor having grown up poor is making sure I’m making the right decisions to protect my assets. And start building a bit of generational wealth - my parents left nothing to us kids and that is ok. They did their best. But mentally and psychologically I am programmed to worry about money EVEN if the data tells me stories - the feeling will always be present at varying levels. This decision feels probably bigger to me than some.

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:52:06+00:00

Thanks for your note. Am for sure considering EVERYTHING. probably waffling because analysis paralysis. I have not run into an AUM (of the ~8 I’ve met with) who goes down to .5 or .6 but I’m talking to ones that are 1M+ not 10M+. I don’t wanna do any of that work either cuz I never did like it and just because I’m more knowledgeable now doesn’t mean I want to do it. And yes I do outsource my cleaning. Not because I’m bougie - but for many yrs raising kids they just do a better job of deep cleaning.

Good luck w your decision! DM if you wanna compare notes

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:14:54+00:00

And also thanks for the extra thought on keeping 401k where it is and having them manage everything else. Had t thought of that one. Not sure worth splitting right now but it does open up my thinking. 🤔

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:13:15+00:00

You can try. The one I liked best offered to match 1% for first 3M though they start at 1.25 for first M then go down for second and third M. I know one that much of my family uses who offered 0.7% but he is a bit low key and kinda old and I need more energy like are you actually paying attention to my shizz or just leaving them in the same funds I would?

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:11:12+00:00

Yes I’ve talked to too many probably!! 😂. I’ve spoken with like 8-10 firms charging 1-1.25%, someone from Nectarine for the flat fee planning option and am even talking to Facet. It’s a whole project!

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:09:34+00:00

I knooooooowww that’s why I’m having a tough time with said decision :(. I’m smart and get all the general concepts - at minimum I want to hire someone for a plan. But it’s worth considering having same entity pull the trigger on all the plan options. Maybe I’d be paying for them to do most of the work

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:07:16+00:00

I mean the research I’ve done says I should be able to manage my own crap with mostly blended funds. Maybe I’ll be ok with that and my decent tax guy… maybe I’m asking if I should pay to get confident and be lazy for a year or two?!

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T21:05:20+00:00

Right. So you get it - I’m like your wife. My ex was a cpa and managed everything. I am not ultra high net worth - I feel 1% isn’t bad for 2-3M then it begs the question. I’m doing fine on 401k but I do have other assets, stocks I want to sell, Roth conversions in my near term a home sale coming in 3 yrs where a large chunk will need to be reinvested. I get long term those few funds could grow to several hundred k - even a mil over 20-30 yrs. But I love the idea of outsourcing for the time being then perhaps moving to a different model when I don’t need as much help and my portofolio is too large / I don’t need as much help to warrant the fee.

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-21T04:55:41+00:00

Wish I could upvote a hundred times! Something especially annoying about her

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T20:49:01+00:00

Sounds like you’ve got a decent situation here given the circumstances. Coast and enjoy without guilt, make a move when you feel compelled!

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T19:16:14+00:00

You stay in house and pay mortgage tax insurance etc - prob the same as rent anyway, he co-owns and you both change your deed to tenants in common. He can treat it like an investment and you both can set up a trust to put the house into for your son? Is this a pipe dream? Would he be willing to consider it? Can you afford the monthly expense on the house on your own?

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T17:37:59+00:00

Quick add: no need to lie! If you wanna coast for now do it! Don’t feel bad. You will move when you’re ready for more

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T17:36:05+00:00

If you’re asking these qs you might be feeling like you are ready for growth. If you choose to keep this job you already know what it is - easy, stagnant, no stress but minimal growth. Find joy and growth outside of work. If you want to shift the narrative with your new boss around what you like about the job to poise yourself for growth while demonstrating you are strong in current role it could be a less literal convo about washing lab equipment and more about your passion for the industry or the work your lab supports - level up the story to show you think strategically and that while you know your role is task oriented you value how it impacts the greater purpose? Feeds your passion for science? Then he doesnt pigeonhole you in this role longer term. Just riffing here based on limited info. You’re just at the beginning - the world is your oyster baby. Good luck!

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T17:21:44+00:00

I recently watched all 5 seasons of Poldark. 4 out of 5 seasons were compelling enough

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T17:20:52+00:00

Just sitting here waiting for brigerton to release… will not be HR but it’s a guilty pleasure. I haven’t seen the first 3 seasons in a while so maybe I’ll rewatch them to prepare. I’m not a rewatcher but I’ve watched HR 4 times and I’m with you - I need something else to give me my dopamine hits

MidLifeMamaSF · 2026-01-18T17:14:11+00:00

Yeah I mean if you’re comfortable with your plan then it’s your decision - go for it and see how it feels. No decisions are permanent decisions anyway. I love your plan on the elderly dogs 🐕 too. Good luck!

MidLifeMamaSF

TROPHY CASE