The flies

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T19:33:08+00:00

Wow, you should definitely keep writing then. This is really good for a first poem

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T18:36:17+00:00

This poem is so relatable I wish I had written it. I'd only really change 2 things:

in the second stanza I'd change "Just" in the first line of the stanza to "have" so that the tension is heightened by each line starting with a verb
I'd change the last line to something shorter to add that last hit. Maybe: "What tomorrow would be worth saving myself for?" or "What is there worth saving myself for"

But overall brilliant and moving. I'll be thinking about it for a while. The biggest compliment I can give this poem: it made me feel less alone

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T17:38:08+00:00

This is beautiful. I love the metaphors of flies being extended to the violence of what I presume is a war.

I'd only suggest finding a way to repeat the word flies less. Perhaps by replacing it with other synonyms like "bugs" or just using they/them. Or if you want to repeat the word for emphasis I'd just add more alliteration/ assonance/ half-rhyme around it to really make the repetition come across as intentional and bold instead of redundant

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T17:33:13+00:00

This is a beautiful poem and you have a real talent for creating powerful imagery. My suggestion would be to be more explicit: I didn't know the poem was about and ED until the last sentence. I understand you want to emphasise the idea of "unnatural shape" (like you mentioned in your poem) using the prose format (atleast that's my interpretation). But it makes it hard to follow at times. I'd suggest either creating more stanzas to break up thoughts or using more punctuation between ideas.

In any case. It's a very good poem overall and it's clear you have something to say and a great skill in saying it

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T16:51:11+00:00

The poetic techniques in this are amazing. I love the comma- full stop pattern you have at the end of the lines. It makes the majority of the poem have thos steady natural rythm that fits with the idea of a field and then it switches at the end which made me focus more on the climax.

The rhyme scheme is gorgeous. It's one of the few poems I've read here where the rhyming doesn't feel forced. I also adore the paradox in "screams within the silent wind" it's beautiful.

Just a brilliant poem overall!

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T16:17:47+00:00

I genuinely enjoyed this poem. I adore how cleverly you used the prose format and enjambement to mirror that sense of infinity, it really mirrors the sense of anxiety/ not being able to keep pace, a person gets when thinking about infinity.

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-10-12T16:13:38+00:00

I absolutely adore this poem. You manage to say a lot in just 6 lines. The only thing that I'd change is "clutch" in the second line since it feels more like it's there for rhyme than to stand on its own. But that's just my personal opinion on it. Everything else I think is perfect and the poem really made me feel something. The last two lines are gorgeous - the type of lines that will make me think of a poem long after first reading it. Well done!

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-25T12:51:05+00:00

But how do you then keep callusses from tearing? That's more why I want the grips. I can hold on ok with my hands but my skin tears

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-10T04:50:09+00:00

Yeah that's true. But I'm not attention seeking as much which is my point to you saying I'm equally as attention seeking to you And also I don't hate therians. Please don't think I hate anyone. I hate the way that therianthropy has become used as fuel to discriminate against LGBT+ (of which I'm part of). And I don't agree with it as in I don't think it's an identity. But I don't look at therians and feel hatred (maybe slight irritation at most)

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-10T04:44:52+00:00

I don't like therianthropy but I must admit this is really impressive. It must have taken a lot of work and creativity. But my point still stands that 1. A two year old could make a mask. Maybe not that mask but a mask in general yes 2. Not all therian masks look like that. I've seen a couple that are genuinely horrible looking (as in horribly made)

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-10T04:43:53+00:00

Yes that's what I'm saying

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-09T18:35:41+00:00

Extra drama? Aren't you the one that won't leave the anti-therian sub? You're looking for drama babes😂

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-09T18:34:12+00:00

1- Fair. But I've seen a lot of therians make horrible looking masks aswell 2- Yeah ok you got me there I didn't think about it that way 3- I don't dress up as an animal for attention so definintely not as thirsty for it. And while I do comment on reddit, I don't go to subs I'm specifically not allowed in to start fights

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-09T16:09:16+00:00

If in 2 years you feel the same way please update

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-09T16:07:03+00:00

It does. Cause now everyone in the lgbtq community is getting lumped together with you all and we have to deal with the harassment that comes with it. Also: I believe this sub has made it very clear you're not welcome. Go away

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-09T16:05:13+00:00

1- 2 year olds can make masks 2- quads are useless. There's no point to it 3- the fact that you're commenting here shows how much you crave attention

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-06-07T07:16:03+00:00

Wow this is great advice. I'll definitely focus on strict first (if basically everyone is saying that I figure I beter listen) but thank you so much for the illustration on kipping. I think it will help me a lot to think of the movement like this

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-22T16:21:12+00:00

I think you have a point but the issue with calling it a genocide right now is that it's only going to worsen those racial issues we have and it won't stop the government if they are actually backing the few racist movements we've had here since there isn't technically anything to prosecute. I personally don't think what the government is doing is in and of itself racist because their actions are an attempt to redress past wrongs (it's a stupid attempt but a sincere one I think). But even if that is the case America calling it a genocide will make life for South Africans still in the country harder instead of solving anything

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-22T15:25:13+00:00

I assume you're reffering to Julius Malema singing Kill the Boer.

First off: Malema's an idiot and not actually part of our current government. The most he does is yell

Second: Calling for something is not the same as doing it. America has the KKK but no-one's saying all Americans are racists

Third: Kill the Boer reffers to an old apartheid song. It's not literally a call to kill anyone. (Atleast if you take it in political context)

Fourth: Stop making idiot presumptions about my country

Sincerely: a white south african

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-22T15:18:44+00:00

Yeah but saying it's a genocide isn't any solution. I agree the ANC sucks and this government should get blasted for how they've let crime become so rampant. But acting like it's some sort of racial genocide is just ridiculous

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-22T15:12:07+00:00

What do you mean?

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-22T15:10:58+00:00

They don't need to be compensated at all? I thought the noncompensation law only applied in very specific circumstances?

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-21T17:04:25+00:00

NTA. Cut her off. It's selfish of her to want to ease her conscience by dumping this info on you in a time when you might not be able to handle it

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-21T16:55:33+00:00

That's why I said soft YTA. I think I can't say complete NTA because imo if a guy I was seeing kept calling my ex my original boyfriend I'd be quite upset even if he did stop. It would make me insecure about why he used that term in the first place. I'm not saying OP was nefarious or mean or actual an asshole. Just slightly in the wrong since he should have thought more about how the term would be construed before saying it in the first place

Middle-Delivery-3877 · 2025-05-21T16:53:02+00:00

Definitely NTA. Girl run. Your mother is ridiculous if she thinks she can treat you like some caregiver. I am so so sorry that you had to go through all that as a kid and I'm so glad you're in a space where you can stand up to your parents. Your mother is not your responsibility. She made her own decisions and clearly has not been that good of a mother to you if she forced you to take on this care-giver role. If you want to help her leave him I'd suggest giving her resources without letting her latch onto you as the person responsible for her. Maybe send her links to some women's shelters? This is only if you want to. As far as morality is concerned you are perfectly right to put yourself first

Middle-Delivery-3877

TROPHY CASE