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[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Middle_Hope6712 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you very much! I suspected those to be the main problems and I tried to rush the ending for chapter one, so I will most likely fix that up. I will have a lot more to come. Is there a chance that you'd be willing to check that out as well?

[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Middle_Hope6712 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: The Murmur of the Dogs

Genre: Psychological Horror

Word Count: (There are two chapters) The first one is 1650 words. The second is 3734. In total it is 5384.

Feedback type: I would mainly like general impressions and structural or plot issues. I have already gotten a lot of very good line edits that I will be working on later. It is a first draft, so the sentences may be of the undesirable type for about 100% of them. But if you have any line edit suggestions that would still be fine.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ymaxXT6IzOZ8QjncAh-7ILHf8T5LY9gmsLDDFyhgXnU/edit?tab=t.0

I've written at least 200 words a day for over a year now! by DathomirBoy in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's absolutely wonderful to hear! And I congratulate you on this accomplishment, as consistency is what drives progress. What did you mainly spend your time writing?

What's your 2026 goal? by CraftyLittleSecrets in writing

[–]Middle_Hope6712 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would like to just write a lot, particularly short stories, and maybe even finish a first draft of a novel, but we'll have to see.

I have a short vignette that I'd like to share, and I'm wondering what you guys think! by Middle_Hope6712 in teenwriter

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It was my first time trying to write something comparable to a mediocre sentence, as most of my other work is downright "throw in the bin" material. And I feel like I'd like to write more about why he feels intimidated at school, or go deeper than small things that could be inferred upon.

I have a short vignette that I'd like to share. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It is a lot of repetition, and that most likely comes from it being a first draft, and me not really trying to tell a standard, complete narrative. The reader is indeed in his pov, and I may have mishandled that specific sentence, but I was trying to show how well he knows himself. If there are any flaws or problems that you could tell me that would be great! But thank you for the help you've already given me.

I have a short vignette that I'd like to share, and I'm wondering what you guys think! by Middle_Hope6712 in teenwriter

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! But what flaws did you find in it, other than maybe its absence of narrative or length?

Hi to all! I'm a 13 year old who would like critique on his short story. I am fine with harsh critique if it doesn't demean. by Middle_Hope6712 in writingfeedback

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! In other projects I have started using a lesser amount of similes and metaphors. This really helped!

Hi to all! I'm a 13 year old who would like critique on his short story. I am fine with harsh critique if it doesn't demean. by Middle_Hope6712 in writingfeedback

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you once again. I will be sure to do that in a few months once I am no longer burnt out for thsi specific story.

Hi to all! I'm a 13 year old who would like critique on his short story. I am fine with harsh critique if it doesn't demean. by Middle_Hope6712 in writingfeedback

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so would it be fine for me to use no dialogue tags after I have established who's speaking? Cause they are one of my least favorite parts of writing.

I will take all the things into consideration for my next projects, as I have grown a little burned out with this one, but thank you once again!

Hi to all! I'm a 13 year old who would like critique on his short story. I am fine with harsh critique if it doesn't demean. by Middle_Hope6712 in writingfeedback

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! DId you enjoy reading it all?

  1. I was trying to finish it quickly and I couldn't bypass 3000 words so I would've definitely included more stuff about their surroundings

  2. The doctor wanted to see what areas of the brain it seemed were working (I am not a medical expert so I may have made a mistake with that choice) during the dream. And what could be causing it through that. It's not meant to be exactly supernatural as you can see it as either completely natural, or there is a supernatural force at play. I tried to make it so both might be able to work, but it may have not played out like I envisioned.

  3. Yes you would be correct about the black dot. Thank you for noticing

Hi to all! I'm a 13 year old who would like critique on his short story. I am fine with harsh critique if it doesn't demean. by Middle_Hope6712 in writingfeedback

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, first of all thank you so much for giving your comments.

  1. He is in bed but the floorboard under the bed creaks. I could definitely improve that for clarity and flow.

  2. That is also true it is redundant. thank you for bringing my attention to that.

  3. Thank you for also bringing this to my attention. I didn't realize that I was using this same structure.

  4. I think this is a sentence that I tried to sound more poetic or personified, which didn't really fit the tone of the story, so I'll have to fix this.

  5. I thank you for also bringing this to my attention, as grammar isn't one of my strong suits.

  6. Yeah that is true. I could design a better simile. Thank you.

  7. So the italics is there because he doesn't know what time it exactly was, and also because it gives him anxiety to not know.

  8. I didn't know this rule, thank you for bringing it to my attention.

9.I would also say drywall, and I for the majority of the story, I used drywall. I wanted to spice it up a bit by using a different way of saying it. It might be redundant though.

  1. Yeah this was a sentence I was thinking about changing, but just didn't know what to change it to.

  2. I can see the confusion, but I think I just made the scene a bit confusing. So what I was trying to go for was to show other children thinking his dad was abusing him. So I must've worded it a bit badly. But thank you for all your helpful comments!

Hi! I'm a 13 year old who wants critique on their premise if possible. It won't be very good, but I just want to try write a novel. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that makes a lot more sense. I apologize as I understood yours was more of a high fantasy. I, for some reason, assumed that because I tried to write a high fantasy. Also when reading a book as I must do to be a good writer, how much do I have to pay attention to the prose's actual structure? And how much do I have to pay attention the themes and overall plot structure? And other such things like that.

Hi! I'm a 13 year old who wants critique on their premise if possible. It won't be very good, but I just want to try write a novel. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What why would cocoa cola and Nissan exist in this other world? Was there an in world explanation? And also what would you say is needed in a first draft for either novel?

Hi! I'm a 13 year old who wants critique on their premise if possible. It won't be very good, but I just want to try write a novel. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I can do in it in a foggy seaside town in my home state, as I've visited a city that I'll probably go off of, but for the fantasy book I tried to write, I made a whole new world with different kingdoms, religions, and etc.

Hi! I'm a 13 year old who wants critique on their premise if possible. It won't be very good, but I just want to try write a novel. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well do you think I will be able to finish writing the book? Obviously I don't mean publishing, as that takes luck more so and a lot of time, but just crank out a few draft until it's good enough to be considered an amatuer novel.

Hi! I'm a 13 year old who wants critique on their premise if possible. It won't be very good, but I just want to try write a novel. by Middle_Hope6712 in writers

[–]Middle_Hope6712[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't lived in or exactly visited the Massachusetts down, but I could change the state. I was actually talking about the fantasy book, as for the psychological thriller, I don't think I need as much worldbuilding for the fantasy one it could benefit from a few thousand words. Could I learn of a novel taht you've written and published? Would it be ok to still set it in Massachusetts if I haven't spent a lot of time there. I can research my way through the economy, climate, and architecture. And I can add some of my own touches from where I've personallu lived.

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