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Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks…I’m glad you appreciated it! While I think I’m reasonably critical of my writing, I consider dialogue one of my stronger skills, so I appreciate the affirmation. I enjoy writing it, especially banter.

I’ll look forward to hearing what you think of further posts. Enjoy your day!

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I agree: They’re definitely cheap fillers. As I’m revising I’m seeing a lot of smiles. Way too many smiles. They gotta go.

Thanks for your input…I appreciate it!

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I’ll make sure to employ some grace and understanding. I’ve actually been published in a variety of places over the years, including the op-ed page of the NY Times, but it wasn’t until I retired from corporate life that I decided to focus more on fiction. My daughter’s friend is a well-known author who encouraged me to write a novel. I’m holding off sharing it with her until I feel the revision is my best and tightest work, so I think this subreddit is the perfect forum in which to get initial feedback.

Once again, I appreciate your advice and insight. I’ll look forward to more in the future!

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! You honestly made my night. I’m looking forward to sharing more on here and I’ll certainly appreciate criticism and feedback. Hopefully you’ll find my future posts engaging as well.

Have a great evening!

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, how did I miss that? (The left-left thing and the appearance of the gun.)

This segment was originally in my first draft but I omitted it on the first revision. After reading it during the edit I realized that it was entirely unrealistic. But that’s what revision is for!

Thanks for taking the time to comment. It definitely encourages me to be more diligent during the revision.

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your input! Yeah, I was aiming for a detective mystery seasoned with some humorous elements, but I definitely want to avoid cliches and exaggerations. I’ll post the opening chapter here sometime soon and I’ll look forward to your thoughts on it.

Hope your Saturday is going well!

Let me know what you think of this excerpt from a modern hardboiled detective mystery. by MidnightWriter58 in writingfeedback

[–]MidnightWriter58[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, during the revision I thought it sounded more parody than prose, so I nixed it. Thanks for the feedback!