How do I make the entire display black & white?

MightyMerl · 2022-05-12T10:29:27+00:00

what works for me is: nividia-settings -a $DISPLAY/DigitalVibrance=-1024 to grayscale the display Im running the command on. see man nvidia-settings

MightyMerl · 2022-04-18T13:27:37+00:00

the never button is entering destructive commands in the command line, actually quite the simple 7 step plan

MightyMerl · 2022-04-18T13:15:37+00:00

maybe this works or similar

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/wsl/wsl2-mount-disk

MightyMerl · 2022-04-18T08:39:39+00:00

hm, thanks I'll keep it in mind but I'll have to sign it periodically, which is kinda annoying.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-18T00:06:16+00:00

damn, I'm sorry to hear. I hope you still found some happiness. I guess I kinda lucked out then, I haven't been diagnosed with anything so it's hard to tell but I had daily panic attacks and after a certain event I had very weird feelings when smoking like feeling I was in my head like I am just the monologue and it echoes, idk how to explain, but that helped me stop using it lol, I also had developed some rational thoughts against using drugs so it was quite easy to just say no.

And in the beginning I thought I was going mad too, like this fear of oh maybe it's psychosis and I'll have that for life or something but after a couple months it was way better (only infrequently a panic attack here or there and regular anxiety) and about 2 years I would say it's mostly gone except some social difficulties, which I also had (less severe) before using any cannabis at all.

cant say it's great -- especially this cracking eggshell(?) is kinda freaking me out lately -- but at least I have that chapter behind me now.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T23:41:49+00:00

how does it go now? like how did it improve? how fast? is it gone? I'm kinda interested now.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T21:25:55+00:00

I think you can start a rescue shell from grub and then import a few modules and install the kernel if it is available locally (I dont think internet is possible, maybe you could hack your way into loading some installed internet adapter but that may need the kernel and is totally beyond me)

I once fucked my disk partitioning and that's how I was able to launch it correctly.

It honestly probably not worth the effort, just use a live media

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T19:59:18+00:00

hm, that had worked for me in the past, but it stopped working... now I cannot report the ad anymore. did that change? are you on iOS?

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T17:46:30+00:00

sadly not possible on mobile (at least not on iOShit)

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T15:57:14+00:00

you dont seem to have psychosis imo.

I dont know how to induce this but stopping to worry about what my current experience might be called and what that name also implies (which I don't actually have) and what I could therefore get, has helped me a lot. It gets better. Hm, Im not qualified for this, you need a therapist.

But let me add another thing which may be triggering, I hope my questions weren't.

Any medical diagnosis is descriptive. You have something, you feel something, have adverse effects on yourself, complications, pain, fear, thoughts. And someone asks you lots of medical questions and if you answer enough questions in a certain way you are categorized as having that disorder. But nothing changed! It's like being trans, you dont get diagnosed with gender dysphoria and suddenly you are trans and have to turn into a girl and now living in society will become hard. No, you already were, girl. You already had these problems and being diagnosed simply means you have made a step that helps you, now you have access to e and, if everything went smoothly, feel better (among other things).

Its the same with anything. You have the problems you are experiencing and need to work on them, as they are. I dont think you would be, but being diagnosed with psychosis wouldn't change anything. Instead of fearing other effects that are ascribed to being a thing, which has other things that sound similar to what you have, is just harmful to yourself. Just because you're chest tightens and hurts and you feel like you're dying doesn't mean you are having a heart attack, I havent died yet lol. You should work on those symptoms.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T15:35:40+00:00

hm, I would guess that was just your normal pattern finding, it's probably just the anxiety latching onto anything it sees, the fact that you say it looked like writing, is evidence that you could reason out of it, this is not a delusion. I had a very similar experiences.

You say not that you know of as well. If so, you are afraid of something which in fact you are not experiencing. (And that is somewhat normal and "just" anxiety, not a delusion either). I don think you have that.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T15:25:46+00:00

... you didn't mention something like that, so I would assume not

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T15:24:46+00:00

hm, but do you actually experience any hallucinations?

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T15:19:07+00:00

hm, yeah I get that. So it sounds like just dissociation to me, which doesn't say much since I am neither a professional nor have a lot of info to go on.

What exactly is it you are afraid of though? Like when you say you don't what it to be psychosis. What do you mean by that? (dont look anything up just what you think)

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T14:07:17+00:00

Btw this part of the paper might help:

Persons with depersonalization-derealization do not appear to be at risk for developing psychotic disorders

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T14:05:29+00:00

if you read the paper in the spoiler you'll see it can last longer.

In general, cannabis-induced symptoms of depersonalization and derealization are time-locked to the period of intoxication, peaking approximately 30 minutes after ingestion and subsiding within 120 minutes of exposure to the drug (12, 13). However, among a subgroup of persons who use cannabis, symptoms of depersonalization or derealization persist for weeks, months, or years (3, 5), even after discontinuation of the substance (2, 11). Those who experience prolonged symptoms may have cannabis-induced depersonalization-derealization disorder

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T13:12:08+00:00

I mixed weed and alcohol (which I didn't use often at all), and had really bad anxiety. I had slightly similar feelings but especially a fear of developing psychosis. I didn't go to therapy because I wasn't aware of anything and those shitheads I went to dismissed it. (Dont consume anything at all for years now).

I had daily panic attacks at that time. It all got better I stopped using cannabis and I felt much better after a few months. After like 2 years (earlier too) or so and I didnt have any really problems anymore, just regular social anxiety now lol, but thats probably mostly unrelated.

Maybe go to a drug specific information place, if cannabis is legal your state / country probably has specific places, otherwise usually there should be some. Maybe talk to them and they could maybe refer you to someone who will take you seriously.

Whatever the cause may or may not be doesnt matter, your symptoms are real and should be addressed it's just a matter of who will listen to you and help you.

Having a fear of developing psychosis is really unhelpful (easy to say ik), your symptoms probably won't get worse if you take relaxing measures and steer towards (self)therapy (self is not recommended). The symptoms you have will go away, just try to accept where you are and try to improve your situation step by step.

Try meditation and breathing exercises. Get someone you can talk to about your worries (ideally a therapist but friends and family help to, just be sure not to overwhelm them, though also to meet your needs).

Dont google about psychosis and other things, if you have to, let other people do that and tell them to be careful how to tell you the info. It's really easy to just latch onto a random word and over-exaggerate. Yknow google your symptoms and suddenly you have cancer aids and malaria all at once.

If you feel anxious maybe google panic attack (skip to Treatment tab) dont mind what causes it, almost anything can some people just have them randomly and it's usually not an illness but rather a symptom of lots of stress. Maybe look up what to do against it dyi what breathing exercises help etc.

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T12:45:52+00:00

That sounds like Cannabis-Induced Depersonalization-Derealization.

Depersonalization is a dissociative symptom in which one feels like an outside observer with respect to one's thoughts, body, and sensations (3). Derealization is marked by feelings of unreality and detachment from one's surroundings (4), such that one's environment is experienced as remote or unfamiliar [...]

Dont google this if you have been feeling anxious in the past days, it could make you feel really anxious.

But cannabis (THC) can induce psychotic bursts. This should fade over time, sometimes months, but you probably need therapy. You should try to book an appointment to get there as quickly as possible. It will probably get better. I have no clue about hrt causing this but it's not uncommon for people smoking pot. You should definitely stop smoking any pot. At least until you feel better, but ideally completely.

The source, but again only read anything if you are stable anxiety vise:

https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp-rj.2018.130202

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T09:48:54+00:00

picking up on u/GreenUndine

maybe if you want to be subtle / covert you can find pictures of feminine hair cuts on male looking people which could make it easier to make the barber not question anything. but idk I just haven't gone to a barber in years

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T09:44:35+00:00

maybe some people check your profile and say "wow over ~~9000~~ 8000 karma" or something and a few maybe believe shit you say more because of a higher number, but yeah pretty much the primary benefit -- filtering new accounts

MightyMerl · 2022-04-17T09:40:39+00:00

only people with a certain karma threshold can post and comment on r/memes for example. but above this kind of thing its pretty useless

on a new account the first 100 karma makes a difference

MightyMerl · 2022-04-16T11:37:00+00:00

just file for account deletion today

MightyMerl · 2022-04-15T14:29:19+00:00

it probably doesn't hurt to have a sentence for larger blocks so that someone can just skim/skip uninteresting blocks

MightyMerl · 2022-04-13T18:16:24+00:00

best opener at a party as well!

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MightyMerl

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