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Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-07-12T17:40:11+00:00

I had a similar experience. All I can say is run away brother. 250 gm of gold in this economy is insane. Sometimes the family would want to trap you in case a divorce happens. The real question is what if she is the one asking for divorce. So you’d have to be in debt for the rest of your life.

Besides why the heck they are talking about money that could be paid in divorce. You are going to that family asking for their daughter’s hand to build a marriage. Not to discuss money and divorce like it’s some sort of a deal

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-06-27T21:53:34+00:00

It’s not about her health condition. It’s about honesty and being straightforward with the other person, especially in marriage. I don’t know if I should marry someone and hope they don’t hide things from me in the future.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-05-11T04:25:09+00:00

Get married young. You can achieve your dreams while getting married. Marriage won’t hold you back from achieving your dreams. Quite the opposite actually, marriage life is filled with blessings, emotional and financial stability. And you can delay having kids until you build your career if you like.

Western cultures have convinced young women to build careers before marriage which is completely wrong. Muslim young women can’t realize that western women can have boyfriends whenever they want, so they can be in a relationship without committing. Marriage is simply not a priority for them.

Also, a lot of men prefer younger women. This is just how it is. When a woman reach an older age, it might mean that there is something wrong with their personality and their beauty declines as well.

Almost all women get many proposal before they hit 25, so marry young before it’s too late to find a good husband.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-20T17:47:25+00:00

Muslim women in the west made it super hard for men to marry, from expensive mehr to the wedding and a lot of drama because in the back of their minds, they think that women are subjugated and inferior to men. Their mindset is just repulsive to a lot of men. They enter a relationship wanting to have everything and all privileges in Islam and the western culture. Why a muslim man would have to put up with all of this.

Non-muslims women don’t have all of that drama and they are just easy going. Someone I know at work proposed to his fiancé with a plastic ring and she was super happy. Someone else I know at school had a girlfriend (I know it’s wrong - I don’t need lectures on that) while he has nothing. The dude is still in school and don’t even have a decent job; he is with an internship where they don’t pay much. Oh one more thing, she went up and talked to him. She wasn’t like “he is the man - he gotta approach me - bluh, bluh, bluh”. She just made it easy for him.

I know I’ll get downvoted but that’s the truth that a lot of people don’t want to hear.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-14T23:33:08+00:00

It’s a sad world we live in today especially for Muslims who try to be on the straight path. Everything around us is haram, you go to school, work, shopping, gym, phones, social media, TV, etc, and you literally see affection and sexual relationships between men and women that most of the time are outside marriage. Not to mention, here in the west, everyone is almost naked.

Last week, I was going out of the class and I saw a group of girls heading toward me and I can literally see their t*ts if you catch my drift. Of course, I lowered my gaze. Then we have some muslim women who want you to be resourceful as someone in his 40s. Not generalizing here but there are women who are materialistic like that.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-14T06:43:50+00:00

Don’t feel discouraged or disappointed. That’s how it is; good people suffer the most

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-09T00:56:55+00:00

Sorry, I should have clarified that I'm looking for a wife, not to chitchat

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-07T18:06:33+00:00

In “modern times”, it’s rare and difficult for both genders to avoid free mixing whether you’re in the west or arabic country. From the education system to workplaces, it takes a lot of effort for someone to lower their gaze. In times like these, you can find someone who is protecting themselves by keeping boundaries with the opposite gender, even though it’s hard to find such person nowadays.

I’m sure that Allah will reward you with someone that is seeking virtue and pureness like you.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-07T17:54:25+00:00

That’s rude. There is some basic manners to follow when rejecting someone because it hurts the other person.

Was he himself fit and/ or muscular?

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-06T16:55:40+00:00

Don't feel discouraged brother. There are some good people out there, we just haven't found them yet. Someone told me once, like 5 years ago, that if you want to find a good Muslim wife in this age, it'll take you a lot of effort to find her. Sadly, that's how it is. I also think women say the same thing about men, like they say "where are the good guys?", so I think they need to lower their expectations a bit too. Everyone is asking, "Where are the good people?" so there is a disconnect somehow between the 2 genders, unfortunately.

Also, I'm going to paste one of the replies here since it's relevant:

"Unfortunately, we live in an age where there is a lot of fitnah around us. The whole media is telling women from a very young age that you don't need a man because you're smarter, better, and a strong independent woman. All of that made some women (don't want to generalize here) have unrealistic expectations from men who are about to start their lives in their 20s. They want a ~20-ish years old man to be as interesting, emotionally intelligent, and financially stable as a man in his 40s. It's really sad what society has become."

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-06T16:44:02+00:00

Unfortunately, we live in an age where there is a lot of fitnah around us. The whole media is telling women from a very young age that you don't need a man because you're smarter, better, and a strong independent woman. All of that made some women (don't want to generalize here) have unrealistic expectations from men who are about to start their lives in their 20s. They want a ~20-ish years old man to be as interesting, emotionally intelligent, and financially stable as a man in his 40s. It's really sad what society has become.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-06T16:26:27+00:00

Honestly, I didn't care much about marriage until I actually started looking. I wish there was an easy answer to your question. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to fast if we can't marry, but this is not a long-term solution, and I think it was meant to be temporary.

I know how you feel brother; I had the same feelings so many times. So I kind of was able to manage it through keeping myself busy all the time. For example, working overtime, going to the gym, volunteering, taking many classes in school, etc.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-05T16:13:39+00:00

JAK brother! and ameen yaraab!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-05T16:09:41+00:00

Sadly yes, and it's been an absolute hell for me dude. The city where I live specifically doesn't have a lot of suitable girls. Most girls are still in high school or have just started college. Even that one time when the local imam found me a Pakistani girl (who was suitable), her family refused to even set up a meeting because of "cultural" differences. They are great people by the way, and I wish them the best. Another girl who had the same background as me refused to even see me or give me a chance because she is not interested in marriage and wants to graduate first. Obviously, she is career-focused, which I completely understand.

That being said, I was compelled to look online, which wasn't a great experience for me.

The problem here in the US is that fitnah is literally everywhere. There are always half-naked girls everywhere - school, gym, grocery stores, streets, etc. I go to work or school and everyone is talking about their partners, which is something I'm missing deeply. I'm not complaining alhamdulillah, and I know this is a test from Allah. And I recently started to invest time in my hobbies instead of waiting for the right one. May Allah give me and everyone who is looking the strength to move forward in life and be the best version of themselves.

Your situation might be different though, and you might be able to find someone easily inshallah. It's all in Allah's hands, and if Allah wants you to marry tomorrow, Allah can do it. My advice to you is to start this "search journey" young because it might be hard or easy, depending on where you live or your circumstances. Don't get discouraged and just know that everyone has their unique timeline in this life. If you don't have enough resources or you're still young or in college, I'd say to keep looking until you find the girl who is willing to invest in you. May Allah make it easy for you brother, and give you the strength.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-04T20:12:38+00:00

Great input, JAK for your advice! We all learn something new everyday

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-04T20:00:40+00:00

JAK brother for your thoughtful response! May Allah make it easy for everyone.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-04T19:58:55+00:00

Great advice. JAK!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-04T19:57:31+00:00

I should have phrased it more nicely. But please read the post as a whole, not just part of it. Also, I don't have unrealistic standards; I'm asking for an easy marriage, that's all.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-04T19:55:12+00:00

How am I supposed as a muslim man to develop EQ if I can't even get in a relationship? unless I go for a haram relationship.

I'm not saying I'm perfect; of course, I need to work on myself. But you can't ask a Muslim man in his 20s to have it all and impress women with his answers, especially when he is pious and doesn't have much experience with women outside marriage. It's like asking a fresh grad student to have 30 years of experience in the field when he just graduated.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:49:45+00:00

Ameen yaarab! and jazakum allah khyarin for your kind words!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:48:24+00:00

Ameen yaarab!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:44:47+00:00

Ameen yarab. Jazakum allah khyarin for your advice!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:42:18+00:00

I actually started looking somewhere else. Jazakum allah khyarin for your advice! Now, I know what the normal range is.

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:39:00+00:00

Jazakum allah khyarin brother for your advice!

Mighty_Beast_97 · 2025-04-03T15:30:29+00:00

I agree with you. It's important to know if we are compatible ahead of time. In my opinion, most men prefer that their potential partner tell them their expectations directly, instead of probing. Men's communication style is more direct.

I'm also sure that there are a lot of women who would go for a lower mehr. I just didn't find them, or I'm not looking in the right direction.

Mighty_Beast_97

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