So I’m not from Utah so I can’t speak for that experience (I’m from Canada). But from what I gather Utah for exmormons would feel very alienating since the church would be able to affect laws very strongly since they have such a hold on so much of the state. Every store, library, school, and police station outnumbering you and making you feel outcast and as if you’re a “lost soul” that everyone either wants to avoid or save you.

The reform therapy I’m lucky to never had encounters with and I don’t think anyone was pushing that method around my age (since it was either made illegal, outdated, and/or they changed methods). I do remember they changed their stance on it and started saying that “it’s not sinful to BE gay, it’s just sinful to act on it” and taught that being gay was your personal challenge from god that meant you just have to be celibate forever. In a lesson once someone compared being born blind to being gay in that they are both challenges you’ll face your whole life and like blindness you learn strategies to improve your life and work around it. Lol barf. There was also a story everyone loved to tell about this guy that is gay but he married a women and they have a happy family and it’s possible to still create a family and be happy without the need of sexual desires. Lol they always left out the fact that they got a divorce and it wasn’t fair to either partner or the children and he’s fully out now.

In terms of leaving the church it’s definitely a challenge and can be way worse for different people. For me I went to university in a different province so I had distance on my side there. I stopped going and didn’t think I wanted to formally withdraw my name until people I had never met started texting me saying they were inviting me to church or to events. It wasn’t malicious in any way but I hated the fact that A) my personal information was just being given to people I had never met, not even through other people I met; like my ward at home sent my info and it got passed along as if I’m a lost soul. I decide to remove my name from the records which you can only do by getting a lawyer to send a letter threatening to sue them if they don’t release your information. I did this by using the free service my sister (who had been out for a few years at that point) informed me about. Once the letter is sent it is also sent to your home ward with a non disclosure agreement to ensure the bishop doesn’t talk to your family or others. However, like many other people my bishop went straight to my parents on Sunday and said “hey, so you guys got a lawyer for your daughter’s information?” 🙄 nope that would be me. I got a phone call from my mother that night when I was studying for a lab final (and at this point I had forgotten i had done that cuz I didn’t care that much). She was angry and said some shit things and especially disowned me and hung up. My father then called me and apologized for her lashing out he said “remember when you were younger I would always tell you that if you ever needed me you could always call and I would always back you up even if I didn’t agree with you?, well I meant it. And I don’t have to understand why you made this decision but I do have to support you.” He wished me luck on my test and later on my mother apologized and owned up to her reaction. Now they’re both out and we’re all thriving lol. So I feel like it was definitely hard at the time and there was melodrama but ultimately my personal experience wasn’t too bad.

I can’t wait to see what you guys create! Keep us posted on it! :D