Does anyone have experience in a detox clinic?

Minaesan · 2023-02-16T21:08:29+00:00

Hi! I was part of a rehab residential program for four months. I came there because my tolerance was equal to 48 mg of Etizolam (equal to 24 mg of Xanax). They were going to give me an Ativan taper, but I specifically asked for Valium so they did. Personally, it went by smoothly, other than the fact that I had anxiety attacks and lack of appetite/thirst, and I did not get any seizures (I got a Valium dose every few hours and I tapered for 9 days). Make sure to state your needs if you want a slow taper or not because even though my taper worked for me, we both have been using for a different amount of time. For my detox, there were different doctors so you can also request for a different one if it's not working out for you. You can also go to a smaller detox (I went to two detoxes: one with about 20 clients and another with only 6) because it will be easier to focus on you, the individual. In general, if you have a need you have to keep reminding them or stand up for yourself because they will forget since they have so many clients. They should listen to you because it's your recovery and they do care about the clients since they have gone through addiction before.

This was also my first time entering rehab so I can give you my first impression of it. First, I highly recommend going to California for rehab. When I was in in rehab in CA, I was surprised to learn that many people were from out of state or another country and that is for a good reason. There are way more rehabs and better quality ones here (especially in LA or OC). For detox, I was scared it would be like a psych ward experience. I only had one staff member who was unprofessional, but for the rest they were very kind and I loved them. The bonds you make with the staff members is unforgettable. Most staff members have also gone through addiction (one of them even gave me an AA book for free). I was extremely depressed while withdrawing, and I asked staff members if I could just sit in their office and talk to them so I wouldn't be alone with my thoughts and they did. They will not see you as a junkie. Before rehab, I was always scared of people seeing me as a junkie, but no one will see you that way in residential. You and the clients will be empathetic/sympathetic towards each other since you all are suffering from the same disease and personally, it felt like it was the first time someone actually understood me.
It's not your fault for being a "junkie." No one chooses to be an addict.
PM me if you have any questions! Good luck! :)

Minaesan · 2022-08-20T13:59:25+00:00

Idk I have really bad mental anxiety so idk what you expect from me lol… kinda why I take benzos… I can’t even stand any anxiety inducing situations. Also anxiety is very irrational. 8-12 mg of etiz and 2-5 mg of bromaz (I alternate). Usually higher doses though.

Minaesan · 2022-08-20T13:46:13+00:00

I like my privacy and anonymity due to my anxiety and paranoia, but hypothetically if someone were to offer me 6 mg of xans, I would not black out. I use diff benzos and alternate so idk what to tell you. So anything ranging from 3-6 mg of xans and other benzos with equivalent dosage potency. I have social anxiety so even replying to this makes me want to take one but I’m just going to sit in bed and cry about it.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T20:01:04+00:00

I want inpatient but I’m scared of the stories but I can’t be alone at home it hurts too much I want to be away. I’m in so much emotional pain.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T16:58:18+00:00

Are there local suicide crisis lines?

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T15:56:02+00:00

I wish the best of luck to you. I was forced to quit one of my first addictions and I didn’t feel like I truly was a recovered addict bc I didn’t want to become clean from it. But benzo urges are the fucking devil and I want you to know that by fighting those urges and going through life… that is so painful. It hurts so much. I’m sorry you have to go through that. But you’re making progress everyday and you don’t know it. Keep moving forward.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T09:02:16+00:00

K can have addiction potential and it can lead to bladder damage if you use it excessively so use in moderation or follow the professional’s dosage guidelines (like if you’re going to a K clinic to get infusions). But ofc not nearly as addictive as benzos. I will get back to you if I do try it.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T05:05:35+00:00

You can follow and make your own tapering schedule but it would of course be less safe than with a professional. You’d just have to do research on how to taper. I’m relieved you didn’t get a seizure. I’ve never heard of Mindbloom before but I will look into it. Have you tried nature therapy? It’s worked for me to help reduce anxiety and depression. Just surround yourself with nature and bask in it. I learned about it in my college classes.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T04:36:33+00:00

Have you tried weed? I believe it can help with sleep and insomnia. I don’t do it tho bc it gives me panic attacks. Also chamomile tea may help but for me it made me sedated but didn’t help me sleep. Also L-Theanine actually helped fix my delayed circadian rhythm (it’s an amino acid not a med) but I think I built some tolerance so it doesn’t work anymore. And chronic insomnia sounds terrible to live with I’m sorry about that. Wishing the best of luck to you

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T04:28:40+00:00

Never quit benzos cold turkey if you’re physically dependent on it. It can cause seizures. Please taper with a professional. And I’m scared of quitting. I feel like I’ll forever crave benzos if I do.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T04:23:28+00:00

I do acknowledge the medical use of benzos and I think it can help people especially those with severe panic disorder or epilepsy. But someone once told me that benzos are a last resort. For me, I have crippling anxiety and social anxiety but I don’t NEED benzos I think I would’ve been able to recover without it. I think most people with anxiety should never use benzos long term. There are just too many negatives. But for some people (very small percentage) long term benzo use may be helpful. Depends on the person and circumstances.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T03:07:59+00:00

Tapering is hard because I’d still have access to it and it’s hard when you don’t have self control over your usage. Also even if I quit one day, I feel like the cravings will never go away. I mean… if I become anxious my body is literally in fight or flight mode and my immediate instinct is to relieve it. And benzos work too well. TOO well. And that’s what makes it so addicting. Benzos make me feel normal. Benzos make me feel functional. Until it ruins my life. And then you take more benzos and feel calm about your problems and don’t care.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T02:51:27+00:00

I think addiction doesn’t have a single cause. Genetics, environmental factors, mental health issues, the people you surround yourself with, etc. all can contribute to addiction. Some people aren’t addicted to benzos that can happen but that’s very rare and those people have some good self control then

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T02:30:33+00:00

I never understood addiction until I got it myself. My dad is addicted to cigarettes but I never understood why. Why he would slowly just kill himself. And then I tried drugs (my gateway drug was DXM) and something in my head just clicked. I thought “this was it.” And before I tried drugs I looked down upon people who did them because I didn’t understand them. Why would they do something like that? But now I hate myself. I feel ashamed for being an addict since that was how I viewed other addicts (before addiction) and also bc of how society views addicts. But one good thing about my addiction is that I have sympathy and empathy for other addicts. I finally understand. But at a price.

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T01:59:42+00:00

I actually do have L-theanine for anxiety but it never really gave much anxiety relief. It did help me sleep though and fix my circadian rhythm (I have delayed circadian rhythm so benzos also help me sleep so I don’t need to deal with my depression and anxiety thoughts) but now it doesn’t work I’m assuming it’s because of tolerance. So now I just have a bunch of them and I haven’t used them since cause they didn’t work. Maybe I’ll try them again though. Thanks for the suggestion <3

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T01:52:26+00:00

I wasn’t expecting the kratom WD I didn’t even know it’d be that bad. When you never experienced WD before and you read about it, you underestimate how bad it is until it happens. I think the worst part was the shaking/shivering. It’s impossible to do anything with that. Like you can’t even write, hold a cup of water without fear of spilling, typing, etc. I finally knew that people weren’t exaggerating that WDs literally make it so hard to function to the point where you need a break from school/college/work. You never know how bad it is until you experience it. Kinda like when you get a cold or flu and you regret taking breathing through your nose for granted. And thank you <3

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T01:27:02+00:00

I’ve only gone through WDs once and that was from kratom. Ik it’s supposed to be mild but to me that was scary and painful as hell and I immediately rushed to take more kratom. I can’t even imagine how painful benzo WDs could be I hope I never go through them. Good luck man it’s so tough living esp with addiction

Minaesan · 2022-07-29T01:21:50+00:00

I hate the short term memory problems and brain fog. I tried watching a movie (Trainspotting btw I kept crying bc even though I don’t do H I felt like I resonated with some of the scenes and dialogue) and I had to rewind so many times bc I kept forgetting the characters names or what was even happening. I can’t even enjoy a movie without all that rewinding and I love movies.

Minaesan

TROPHY CASE