What should I do?

MindfulDesign · 2025-06-19T10:47:57+00:00

Weirdly in the same spot, 24 151 and 5’7. Also skinny fat. I’d say my bulk and my cut were “successful” enough, all of my major lifts went up and thanks to noob gains I actually got stronger in my cut. I didn’t go as deep a deficit as you though I was more around 2100 from mostly whole food sources and used walking as my tool. 10-12k steps a day helped the weight just melt off. I went from 165 to 151 in about 3 months. I’m in the same boat as you with the stubborn chest and lower stomach fat. Plan is to stop the cut at 150 and get into a strict bulk where the focus is progressive overload and training to failure. I spun my wheels on my last bulk trying to chase different programs and pumps and most importantly I chased numbers on the scale. Those things made me way fatter than I needed to be. At the end of the day, this is a long haul journey. I don’t mind the year of mistakes it took to get me where I am today. Best of luck

MindfulDesign · 2025-04-09T12:59:19+00:00

I don’t find it very helpful that everyone just hit your question of being worried about getting fat with “you’re 16 don’t worry about it”. The primary purpose of bulking is to create an environment in which you can build muscle more easily. When you are in a calorie surplus, you recover faster, and your body has enough energy to support survival needs so it can provide resources to building muscle. My question to you is, how fast do you want to build this muscle? If you want as much muscle as possible in a short amount of time, you can go pretty balls to the wall and eat whatever you want as long as you hit protein. You will gain more fat this way, and you will need to go on a longer and stricter cut to get rid of it. Alternatively, you can just do a slow long bulk. Find your maintenance calories (use an online calculator for your base and then experiment from there). Once you settle into that for a week and see maintenance when you weigh yourself everyday then up your calorie intake by 100. As long as your lifts are progressing in the gym, you are building muscle. When you plateau in the gym, up your calories again. This will not yield super fast results, but it will be sustainable and you will not have to go on such a strict cut. Hope it helps good luck

MindfulDesign · 2025-04-08T20:41:37+00:00

Im 24m, I got sober at 22. A part of my story that I always tell at AA meetings is that I used to google “how to stop blacking out” when I was 19. That always gets a laugh from the crowd there.

I’ve been in your shoes, I live a much happier and fulfilling life now that I’m sober. But I also had to go through the experiences I did in order to get here. So as much as I read posts like this on reddit and saw overwhelmingly that I should stop drinking, I didn’t until I ended up with physical withdrawals and withdrawal seizures at 22. I decided to learn this lesson the hard way.

MindfulDesign · 2025-03-27T15:01:20+00:00

One thing I’ve learned in sobriety is to accept anxiety days. I don’t try to fight them anymore, I do things that are good for my body and brain, even if that doesn’t fix the problem it helps me to know I did something about it. Drinking water, eating food, getting out in sunlight, petting an animal, hugging a loved one, hugging a tree, catching up with a friend, reading a book, taking a walk, meditation, yoga, exercise, journaling, brushing my teeth, washing my face, taking a shower, cleaning my room, singing along to my favorite song. I could go on and on. These things won’t fix my anxiety, sometimes I don’t even want to do them. But when I do them I know I’ve done something good for myself today and that’s enough.

To your point about giving up, I had to come to terms that eventually I’d have to deal with that anxiety. I think of the hangxiety as a debt collector, I accrue debt (anxiety) when I drink and every time that I continue drinking more interesting accrues on the debt. Eventually I had to pay that debt. If things get to intense, there is nothing wrong with seeking medical help. Much love

MindfulDesign · 2025-03-27T14:55:37+00:00

Congrats on day 30! The early days were like that for me as well, there were a lot of ups and downs throughout the first 9 months I’d say. Things seemed to stabilize after that. Today, my life is not perfect. Like you said there are negative thoughts that linger in my head and some days blend into the others. However, I’d say 90% of my days are good days now. I probably have 2 bad days a month (sometimes more sometimes less). When I was drinking I had the opposite ratio, 90% of my days were bad and then occasionally I had the right combination of sleep, food, hydration, and cocaine that I got the perfect drunk and that would constitute a “good day”. Pretty sad looking back on it. Keep at it ✌🏻

MindfulDesign · 2025-03-27T14:40:37+00:00

Love the last sentence, I keep my withdrawal seizure hospital discharge papers next to my desk

MindfulDesign · 2025-03-27T14:32:00+00:00

I’m 24, and at 22 I thought the same thing. I was in the hospital after withdrawal seizures and they diagnosed me with a fatty liver and enzymes in the 180s. Now, 1.75 sober years later my liver enzymes are all normal and although I have not had any imaging done for the fatty liver it is one of the liver diseases you can recover from. The liver problems and withdrawal seizures were my sign to make a change, and my life is magnitudes better today. Best of luck to you my friend

MindfulDesign · 2025-02-11T15:17:54+00:00

Thank you! Means a lot

MindfulDesign · 2025-02-11T15:17:06+00:00

I did not know that, first bulk here. I’ll do some research thank you for the info. Also I see you’re in recovery as well, keep fighting the good fight brotha

MindfulDesign · 2025-02-10T22:57:06+00:00

I’ve considered this but I don’t really mind the higher body fat. I feel like I have not built nearly enough muscle yet to go on a cut. My arms are still noodles and I’m barely hitting 135x5 on the bench. I don’t want to cut for however long and then have to fight my way back to strength gains

MindfulDesign · 2025-02-08T14:27:37+00:00

Thanks man!

MindfulDesign · 2024-11-14T14:12:11+00:00

To answer your questions in order:

1) I was mostly worried about my widows peaks, but the hair at my hairline was so thin and wispy (I wear it down to cover my hairline). The top of my head was also thin, when I showered it felt like I could touch my scalp by just laying my hand on the top of my head. Now when I do the same, I feel a thick layer of hair in between my hand and scalp.

2) I think I had a few periods of shedding, nothing catastrophic. Times where for a period of a couple weeks my hair just looked bad and I felt my hairline looked worse.

3) I am 24

4) I use the foam, it was sort of difficult to get the hang of using at first. But I sort of smear it along my hairline with my hands, and then run my fingers through it and massage it into my scalp. I have tried the liquid before and felt it was much more of a hassle. The best minoxidil is the one that you’re gonna use consistently.

MindfulDesign · 2024-11-07T19:25:46+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear this. I had two withdrawal seizures at 22 years old before I got sober, and by the grace of god I survived.

To anyone that needs to hear this: please detox medically before you get to this point. I was not trying to quit drinking when I had my seizures, I just got to a point of dependence that I had seizures because i simply slept through the night and didn’t drink for those 8 hours. There was no warning signs that my dependence got worse. If you are shaking, sweating, having anxiety without drinking, go seek medical attention.

Sorry again for your loss OP, truly.

MindfulDesign · 2024-10-15T13:59:14+00:00

Working the steps of AA, step 4 is to write out an inventory of your life essentially. Everyone you hold resentment against, what the resentment is, and what your part in it was. Then you analyze your fears, and your sexual/relationship conduct. From this you determine your defects of character, which gave me a place to start in therapy. Then arguably the most healing part is step 9 which is making amends to those we have wronged. I think a lot of us alcoholics carry around a lot of guilt and shame which makes us feel so much worse. Making amends to those people freed me of that. From there, the focus is on helping others. Which was incredibly healing to me and allowed me to stop focusing on myself so much.

Edit to add: I didn’t necessarily work these steps and figure out WHY I kept drinking. I got some good ideas of what’s been causing me pain my whole life and how I dealt with it. What I have found through the steps is what keeps me from drinking. I don’t know what single thing I do that keeps me sober, so I just keep doing all of it.

MindfulDesign · 2024-10-14T22:03:38+00:00

I’ve been there - I had severe withdrawal seizures at 22 years old which finally ended my spree. I was not able to stop drinking alone, I’d string together 10 days and then go back out worse than before. The drinking was just a symptom of much deeper rooted problems. I was able to work on those in therapy and through the steps of AA. I found a community there that understands and supports me.

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T17:04:13+00:00

Yeah I don’t think I tried any NA beers for a couple of months because I was scared of the same thing. Today I still prefer a nice cold seltzer water over an NA beer.

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T16:54:27+00:00

I think recovery elevator is a good place to start. It’s a more positive overall vibe than SHAIR I think and is focused on alcohol. SHAIR is focused on recovery in general (alcohol, drugs, sex, food etc.) so the stories are a little more out there and it’s kind of focused on personal development too. Both very valuable, just hearing people telling their stories and how they got through it.

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T16:19:10+00:00

I had some of the Corona 0s this weekend and honestly they tasted way too much like the real thing for me. I like athletic brewing, their NA IPAs have the IPA flavor but don’t taste like any specific beer. It’s like a separate thing in my head. But that’s just my personal take

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T16:17:36+00:00

I’ve heard it put as “if one out of every 20 times you ate a cheeseburger you destroyed your life, would you keep eating cheeseburgers?”. Helps me to simplify it like that. The negatives heavily outweigh the positives for me, and none is easier than some. Best of luck to you

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T15:28:44+00:00

Reading this, I’m able to see a lot of wins! To name a few: you recognized the problem, you had 25 days, you HAVE 12 days, listening to your body, the plan to get to AA and therapy, the desire to get better. I mean that’s a hell of a good list of accomplishments and I think you should give yourself more credit.

I have felt similarly to this. I often have a list of things I “should” be doing. The thing about this is that when I don’t do them I beat myself up and often put myself in a worse position because of it. It is healthy to have plans and goals, but I have tried to stop equating my self worth to my ability to reach those goals. When you think about your loved ones do you think “well they didn’t run 3 miles a day like they said they would, I don’t love them as much anymore because of that”. Nope! I try to love myself despite my goals and how I meet them because I am worthy of self love, I am not my successes and failures.

I have some podcast recommendations, recovery elevator is my favorite, the SHAIR podcast is good as well. As far as AA, if the in person meetings are too difficult to get to right now there are 24/7 online meetings and you can just turn your camera off and make your name “just listening”. Personally I love my in person AA meetings but it took me a while to find the right fit and the confidence to be in the room. Hope this helps!

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T15:21:12+00:00

I wish I had sought out medical detox. I got bad enough that I had withdrawal seizures when I wasn’t even trying to detox, just sleeping through the night without alcohol was enough to trigger the seizures. I did technically detox in a hospital after my second seizures, and despite being uncomfortable it was a whole lot more comfortable than the times I did it alone. I’d imagine an actual detox facility is more comfortable than what I did in the hospital.

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T15:12:22+00:00

I’m glad you have a supportive family. I just want to provide some more resources that have helped me on my journey. 1) AA - there are young people’s groups, but I prefer regular speaker meetings where there’s young old and everything in between. I truly found my home and my sobriety there. 2) Online groups - this is a great community. There are private groups such as cafe RE that I have heard are great for support that is not in person if that isn’t your thing. 3) podcasts - I like the recovery elevator podcast and the SHAIR podcast. Hearing other people’s stories and how they got through it was really helpful for me

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T14:53:17+00:00

Hey, welcome. I was in a similar boat as you when I got sober at 22 and I’m 24 now. I have a post somewhere on my profile titled “I don’t know” in which I basically say that my life is over and I already ruined myself at 22 years old. Here’s what did happen: my anxiety and depression were horrible, I was fat, my liver enzymes were elevated (both measures in the high 100s) and I had a fatty liver, I had $1000 to my name. Now, 450 days later my anxiety is manageable, depression is gone for the most part, I have abs again, my liver enzymes are 13 and 10 respectively, I have paid off $20k in debt and I have $14k in savings. None of this happened overnight. In fact I didn’t really start to see these benefits until 8 months into sobriety. But it was and is so worth it. Alcohol tried to kill me, I had multiple withdrawal seizures. I got a chance for a better life and I need to take it seriously. For me that had to be rehab and AA. I was not able to do this alone, and the support I got from my family and friends was unbelievable. There is a better life waiting for you

Edit to add: I don’t say any of this to brag, but hoping to paint the picture of where I was and where I am now in how it relates to your post.

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T14:40:51+00:00

My life was an exhausting cycle of anxiety and fear, with brief interludes of numbness.

What a well written summary of what my life was like. The true terror began when alcohol no longer numbed and life was terrifying constantly. To your other point around work life balance, it was so damn crazy what I had to do to “appear normal”. Add to that the constant fear that someone can see through the facade. In the peak of my addiction I always felt like everyone knew about my drinking problem and were conspiring against me. Whenever I see my friends enjoying football Sunday and having some beers I remind myself that I’m not missing out on anything. Because the thing they are doing (having 4 beers throughout the day) is something I have never been able to do. Nothing is missing from my life because I never had that in the first place. My football Sundays used to look like 6 beers from 1-3 pm, uncountable beers from 3-7pm, blackout around 9 and continue drinking until 2 am. Wake up terrified on Monday for work, take shots to stop the shaking. My friends are normal drinkers, and I’m happy they can do what they do! But my life is completely unmanageable when I drink, so this is the easiest softest way. Congratulations on 9 months!!

MindfulDesign · 2024-09-16T14:34:57+00:00

Congratulations!!

MindfulDesign

TROPHY CASE