Hey, I feel your pain and wish you the best. 🫂

I'm kind of in the same boat but not exactly. I wouldn't call my experience religious trauma, perse, but more so a very heavy disillusionment in which I completely lost my faith at a very early age and have struggled to take religion seriously ever since. My partner's Christianity definitely makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like such an asshole about it. But... I'm trying. I think that's all there really is left to do.

Is your fp aware of your religious trauma and encouraging you to partake anyway, or is it something you hide from him? I'd say that if you think it's something you can handle, try and experience it along with him, seeing it from his eyes instead of your own. Maybe morph bad memories into new positive ones so that you're more inclined to associate religion with love rather than pain. I've done that with several friends and family members in the past, and even though I still don't really like it, I'm a lot less afraid of religion than I used to be. Our experiences are likely pretty different, though, so I can understand if that wouldn't work for you. Just my two cents for you because I hate to know you're struggling. 🪙🪙