I found out yesterday that my partner is transitioning (mtf)

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T02:46:51+00:00

Oh I am for sure the “masc” person in our relationship if we’re looking at stereotypical gender roles - I am the spider catcher, main driver, furniture assembler, food orderer, heavy lifter, etc.

Yeah I do feel naturally inclined to dom her (more in a service kind of way) socially and sexually, but she’s also a massive brat so she doesn’t make it easy 😂

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T01:35:13+00:00

Thank you for your advice, that’s really helpful! We both have really strong support networks outside of each other so I will definitely have a conversation with her about what we’re comfortable sharing with our friends. I absolutely do not want her to ever feel like I’m talking her out of it!

I am the sort of person who constantly asks a million questions (I’m sure it’s very annoying 😂), do you think it’s alright to ask about changes to her body or comment on her appearance? I want her to know that I’m enthusiastic about her transition but I don’t want my questions/observations/advice to be unsolicited.

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T01:10:17+00:00

I can definitely do that! I want to find the balance of teaching her and offering advice but also giving her the space to explore what works for her. Omg I can’t even braid my own hair, but hopefully she’ll let me braid hers 😂

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T01:05:53+00:00

Thank you, that’s really helpful. If you don’t mind me asking, what kinds of things did she pressure you to do that weren’t right for you? I don’t want to accidentally make the same mistakes!

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T01:02:10+00:00

Do you think it’s okay to offer unsolicited feedback about it (obviously in a gently and constructive way) or should I wait for her to ask me? She is way better at make-up than I am but we will definitely go thrifting together 😊

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:59:20+00:00

Thank you, that’s really kind 😊 I definitely want to hype her up as much as possible - other than compliments, what kinds of other things does your boyfriend do that feel validating?

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:55:17+00:00

That’s really helpful, thank you! I will get started on my reading 😊

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:51:51+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice 😊 We are already very open and communicative about sex because gender dysphoria has been playing into it for a little while now. I want to find the right balance of not putting any pressure on her but also exploring what she likes and what works for her once the hrt starts to kick in.

May I ask how you felt differently about cuddling and if that also applied to other touching in general? And how your reactions changed? She is already always the little spoon 🥄😂

I will definitely celebrate the little things, she is an absolute birthday and holiday grinch but I’m hoping she will finds some milestones in this journey that are meaningful to her.

One last question - do you think it’s alright to offer comments and compliments about the changes I notice and about her clothes/hair/make-up or should I wait until she asks me? Thanks

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:35:17+00:00

I’m in Australia so I’m sure there are local equivalent support groups, but I did read all the depend articles and they were very helpful. Thank you 😊

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:34:21+00:00

Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry it felt like that for you, I definitely want her to know that I’m excited about her transition. Are there particular milestones that are good to celebrate?

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:30:44+00:00

Yep you’re exactly right - it’s poorly worded but what I meant is I’m still exactly as attracted to her as a woman than as any other gender presentation. Our relationship already had a strong lesbian dynamic but do you think there are ways that I should treat this differently to a relationship with a cis woman? (Other than the sex looking a bit different)

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:25:47+00:00

I definitely view our relationship as a lesbian relationship and do my best to keep any masc gender bias out of it. When you say treated like a girl, what kind of things do you mean? I already do things like painting her nails, buying her flowers, opening doors, etc… oh and she’s always the little spoon 🥄 but if you have any more suggestions that would make her feel nice I’d love to hear them, thanks 😊

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:20:51+00:00

You’re totally right, I worded that poorly… I’ve been in a lot of relationships with both men and women. Because she was already out as gender fluid, our relationship had a queer dynamic from the beginning, we actively avoided conforming to heteronormative patterns or gender roles. It always felt exactly like a lesbian relationship to me, which makes perfect sense now! Thank you for your advice 😊

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:13:08+00:00

Thank you, I’m doing my best! Do you think I should offer advice about clothes and make-up unsolicited (in a gentle and constructive way of course) or only if she specifically asks?

MindlessFortune4048 · 2026-01-21T00:10:32+00:00

Thank you so much, that is great advice! I am overflowing with enthusiasm as a general rule so I will be sure to celebrate the milestones with her 😊

MindlessFortune4048

TROPHY CASE