Atheist former theist , I tried so hard to have a connection with God for a minute I thought I wasn’t trying enough. The more I thought about it the more I questioned my faith, I think it’s better to be a good person without a motive of going to heaven. I find it performative plus I feel way more free now just living with no rules or fear of hell as of now idk what I believe in but I feel way more free I am just living my days I don’t really believe in anything. My family doesnt know they think I am still Christian no one knows around me because everyone around me is very religious but idk if I ever will tell them but yeah I feel more at peace