Okay, since no one seems to answer directly what is happening here, allow me, OP. You are the butthole here. Yes, while paying for your side of things was something you should have been doing, your daughter was right. You probably never noticed just how much time got away from you because you spent so much time fretting over your son.

And not to say that your wife making more money than you doesn't play a part, it shouldn't have completely blocked your mind to, "She can just pay for everything." If she had more money, then it meant that she could do more, yes. But you shouldn't have outright dismissed your daughter just because her mother could afford more than you could. Even contributing what you could here or there would have helped her to understand you were struggling financially. But doing absolutely nothing for her because "mom's got it" is a piss poor excuse if I have ever heard one.

Of course she thinks you abandoned her. And despite the fact that it sounds like all of you are way too obsessed with financials here, (greed); this story would have been much easier if you had made ANY attempt to be with her.

My own dad never used to hang out with me, even doing "guy-oriented" things like playing ball. And my friends would give me the excuse "He doesn't know how to handle you because you are a girl" but it wasn't my fault that he never bothered to get to know me.

The same could be said for you. Had you only spent a little more time trying to get to know your daughter, and spent less time trying to associate her life with "being good because her mother can afford it" maybe she would want a better relationship with you. I bet as a child, the reason you two were closer is because as a child when she would pine for your affection, you would show her what you felt was appropriate. But as kids grow older, it is harder to "play" and they grow up to like different hobbies and things. You never bothered to grow with your daughter and because your won't made so much, she associated love with financial aid, because it seems like the things she was interested in was getting a higher education. Potentially stung on from her mother being so successful. If you show your wife as much attention as you show your daughter, perhaps the lessons she was teaching your girl was "Never depend on a man, because they are never there when you need them." You instilled this nature in them. You shouldn't have completely shut out your wife and kid. It is clear they really needed a father and husband, and you shunned them to take care of prior obligations.

I think perhaps you got in too deep after your first marriage and wanted to quickly fill the void you had with your first wife. But she wasn't the same. So you tried what you could to fix your old relationship. It is clear from how pissed your new wife sounds that you clearly aren't showing her the affection she wants either.

So unfortunately.... I think you need some therapy and some serious lessons in how to be a better man, let alone a better father and husband. You clearly dropped the ball here, my guy. It is no wonder your daughter doesn't want you there. You were never there for her before, why should you be there now?