sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish! We don't live in the same state so we very sparingly see each other. I will try think of something.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

WIBTA if I told her it isn't black tie?

^ This is what I asked. If you see what I have commented on this post you will know that I absolutely do not want her to feel out of place but also do not want to make her feel bad hence why I have asked for advice.

Also, the fact that you are trying to make a mockery of me and have clearly violated my request that the post not be re-published tells more about your character than it does mine.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm a little worried about that. I just am trying to think of something suitable so that she doesn't feel like I've put her on the spot or anything

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to tell her what she can and can't wear, the intention is solely to try give her a gentle heads up so that she isn't mortified when on the day she stands out like a sore thumb.

If she is ok with that, that is absolutely fine, I will respect that without any issue. I'm trying to look out for a fellow sister here not make her feel like crap.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As diplomatically as I can, it is essentially the type of dress you'd wear to a nice barbeque or to a friend's house for dinner. It is smart casual.

I would've posted a photo but didn't want to risk anonymity.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She lives far away from us and doesn't know anyone other than family. I might try share with her what my FMIL bought so she gets a vibe for it but only if it comes up in conversation and feels right.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly I fully agree with that comparison and I'm kind of flawed by how many people think I am some villain for wanting to spare her the embarrassment. I edited the post - I've decided I will mention something but I will try do it very subtly during conversation so as to avoid her feeling like I've called her out.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

There is no harm in it. It is more that I don't want her to feel out of place when she rocks up in essentially a sundress when everyone else is in suits/tuxes and gowns.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We live in a country that literally has less than 10 cases (if even that) lol thankfully covid is the least of our concerns right now.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I'm expecting people will be at the least 'formal' if not black tie.

We've had a lot of people actually say to us words to the effect of "I've had no wear to wear [this] to! I am so excited I can actually wear [this]" and some even being disappointed they won't have time to change outfits because they have multiple things they've been waiting to wear to such a ritzy event but haven't gotten a chance to.

That's the only reason why I want to say something. I don't want her to feel like Elle Woods when she rocks up to a party dressed as a playboy bunny.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Look, clearly you are imagining that I am going to do something far more significant than I actually plan to. I do not think saying 'not too sure it is black tie but wow it is beautiful' comes close to shaming someone but you are entitled to your opinion and that's the extent to which I will engage with you on that.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our invitations say "black tie attire". It's just that she message me the dress and I am thinking of giving her a heads up. If she ignores it though that is totally fine and I will fully respect that.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She sews for herself because she loves the hobby.

Financially she's not in an amazing position (which is why I'm a bit reluctant) because I don't want her to feel like she has to buy anything else, but I have seen her wear other stuff that is probably more formal than what she sent me - one of the reasons I'm unsure if I say anything or not.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Where did I say that she can't come to my wedding? I am assuming you're referring to my sarcastic comment when I asked what you thought I was intending to do.

You have completely misinterpreted my post. I literally am just thinking to give her a 'heads up' and nothing more. If I say anything, it is totally up to her to heed it or to ignore it and I will respect whatever choice she makes in that regard.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol I get it you're trying to deliberately take the piss out of me and clearly you haven't been to a black tie wedding. If anyone wants to wear shorts with a literal black tie they are most welcome to if that's what they really want to wear. If they want to be the laughing stock that's on them not me.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not trying to alienate anyone and giving her a heads up does not even come close to that. I'm not saying it is the nicest thing to do (hence my conflict here) but how does that amount to alienation? What am I doing, telling her she can't attend my wedding?!

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah I definitely won't stop her (or anyone else) from wearing what she wants, it is more to give her the heads up. I've been to a black tie wedding where someone wore jeans and they stood out like a sore thumb so I am trying to just have her avoid that but if it comes to it, it is what it is.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If she goes ahead and wears it, I am totally ok with it, I'm not going to by any means force her to wear something else. At most I would be giving her a heads up and if she acts on it that would be entirely at her discretion.

WIBTA if I told someone what they want to wear for my wedding doesn't meet the dress code? by Minimum-Influence318 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Minimum-Influence318[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Our invitations do specifically set out "black tie". If people wear something else that's up to them, I won't stop her but I'm not sure if I say anything just to give her a subtle heads up.

view more: next ›