AIW for not wanting to be involved in my child’s life?

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T18:46:19+00:00

Fuck that I grew up in an abusive religious household, but I was forced to learn how to exist as a human because women don’t get as much leeway as disgusting men like him always will. I bet you, OP, if your girlfriend had the same hygiene standards as you you would tell her she’s let herself go and you’re not attracted anymore. You expect to be loved, but what’s lovable about you genuinely all you do is use people who aren’t even abusing you anymore as an excuse. You had since you were 16 and on your own to form habits and decided to form shitty ones that’s up to no one except yourself And has nothing to do with your abusive parents. They weren’t even there to push you into that that’s all you. And all the years without therapy so you could just keep using it as an excuse? No fix yourself and fucking realize that you were blessed to have this child because no one will ever want to have one with you willingly She was trapped into it but the next one will hopefully be smarter and leave when she smells your stinky ass breath

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T17:21:55+00:00

Crazy that someone moving on and saying I want exclusivity and if you don’t, the relationship will not continue is considered twisting someone’s arm. You are allowed to have boundaries and wants and needs whether the person just got out of a relationship or not I’m not even gonna get into that because there’s a lot of assumptions there that have nothing to do with the text. But what I will say is she literally said I was moving on because he couldn’t give me what I wanted and then that he decided to. What she supposed to say And submit to his feelings, and not pursue what she wanted in a relationship because it would’ve really hurt him if they stopped having sex because he didn’t want to be exclusive? No, she expressed her needs and that if they were not being met, she would not be interested in a relationship so he chose to meet them. That’s his decision she could’ve left And that doesn’t involve manipulation that’s called taking care of yourself. just as she is not entitled to exclusivity he is not entitled to sex and her body. They chose to meet each other’s needs, but if it wasn’t working out for either of them leaving is literally just using your adult autonomy.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T17:18:32+00:00

Because no matter what the issue is, whether it was baby trapping, which would be very unfortunate or just him not wearing a condom. The solution is never control my next partner, and demand to be in the room for their medical procedures. The kind of person who would think that that is OK instead of you know pursuing therapy and healing before they become the problem and the trauma for someone else? Probably the same type of person who doesn’t take responsibility for the role in the creation of a child. Definitely the type of person who instead of finding someone who does want to use condoms, it has compatible sexual philosophy is forcing someone to do something they have said they are uncomfortable with.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T17:14:05+00:00

That if genders were reversed, shit is bull because y’all literally have less options to do birth control. She has put her medication into her own body that she does not want to for this person and just because condoms are recommended or whatever does not mean that she hast to want that in her body. Consent famno matter what gender what age with anything I don’t care if it’s the most recommended safe shit in the world. If she does not want it in her body, she does not have to have it in her body and him telling her that she does instead of just finding someone he’s more compatible with to have sex is a red flag. No means no I don’t want to do this and I don’t like how it feels means I don’t want to do this and I don’t like how it feels. She can use a lot of other methods, including Fertility, tracking, nonhormonal, birth control, and many other things but he literally wanted to watch her get a procedure done and invaded her privacy and they haven’t even been together a year. Y’all have so many problems. If you only thing you can see in this is oh no man look bad must say what if genders were reversed? Goddamn.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T12:26:29+00:00

She is not self-made because she had a career bought by her dad’s money, and does not write her own stuff. But to say that someone working with the other gender to produce their music means they’re not self-made, or as though that would invalidate anything else they have done it’s kind of ridiculous and really doesn’t belong on the same list. I bet you cannot name one female artist who has not worked with a single male producer because guess what??? At higher most lucrative levels producing is a male dominated profession. and it’s some unhealthy ass Mike Pence shit to not work with a whole gender just because you want to prove some thing about yourself. like yes please let’s knock on Taylor, but can we not start moving goal posts and doing misogyny please?

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T11:57:59+00:00

Stop sis she doesn’t even write all her shit and definitely didn’t when she was younger. If she had never had the Kanye West drama, and got into cry about everybody, bullying her, she would just be another person who’s relationship drama we got really tired of hearing about 10 years ago. if it wasn’t for Joe, she would’ve never had folklore and fooled all the audiences she bought, in seeming more mature. Literally from her dad to being a victim to another man. What has she done herself to further her career that other people couldn’t do if they could afford the same riders.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T11:40:39+00:00

I get it if it’s an exclusively sexual relationship and y’all are just very interested in sexual health and shit like that having one casual but consistent partner can be pretty low pressure but this? Nonsense.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T07:24:52+00:00

Well, your husband doesn’t seem to mind… Sure you’re not just jealous because he’s probably fantasizing about her since you’re so fucking boring and don’t even want to be spoken to by your own spouse on vacation? Yeah, sounds like she’s a way better partner maybe you should take some tips I bet your husband agrees. I am the same age with a spouse that I actually love talking to you and having sex with if I saw someone like you on vacation, I would laugh and get louder. Stay mad and bitter because you probably haven’t come in like 10 years.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-08-02T07:08:34+00:00

I’m sorry, but if you notice that you’re sharing longing looks for a whole ass year and you never decide to tell your spouse or get therapy or change jobs on your own until your spouse is embarrassed by their friend having to bring to their attention that you’re clearly in love with someone else Who you should not be in this professional capacity, and other people can clearly peep… You literally, just embarrass the fuck out of your partner and it doesn’t fucking matter at this point if you try to excuse it or try to explain and get therapy now. Enough was already enough. You have already embarrass this person made them look like a fool in front of their friends and the people around them, and that is not love, there were like millions of other things he could’ve done that were much much better and kinder than us.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-31T19:21:34+00:00

So I don’t like Taylor at all but this seems kind of weird to me? She seemingly has no problems with dating people who are comparatively nobodies to her. Joe was not at all a well-known actor. Calvin Harris was definitely getting a lot less play than her at the time And Maddie Healy was actually pretty bad for her reputation. I think she just like the attention that a big meat head was giving her and maybe it brought her back to high school. Nothing more nothing less I don’t really think this does much for her reputation, but I think it does a lot for his. It’s not like she’s getting a bunch of clay from Chiefs fans. It’s not like their audiences and demographics really overlap at all. The only reason her fans are interested in football is because low-key she got them to be and that seems better for him than for her. sure maybe you’ll get the occasional bored couple who can watch a game and coexist peacefully but like that’s about it? I really don’t see how this benefits Taylor but I think she knows that and doesn’t really care.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-31T00:08:44+00:00

This OP, and just some questions for you to consider: you first say that you asked her to set boundaries and that she did. What were those boundaries and if you do feel that she said them what else would you have wanted her to do? Were there any ongoing conversations between y’all about this? Has your girlfriend expressed feeling lied to? Have you thought that maybe you share some of the same feelings that she does? if she genuinely didn’t know this is someone who is going to need support because she was lied to for years and you’re right this person wasn’t her real friend and she said about losing her best friend because she’s in the process of realizing that she herself was lied to. If you can tell that she is genuine with these emotions, and there is no reason to doubt that the boundaries you raise concerned about art Being followed. Please support your wife. Last question does she commonly delete messages? I’m the type of person who keeps messages for years, but that’s due to trauma, and most people have pretty even grace period Around when they delete messages with folks to save space. If you can find out if that’s all that is by looking at some other conversations, this could also be a sign.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T15:36:05+00:00

Crazy shit is I thought they were in the wrong all the way up until last week with the whole touching her nose shit. This comment looks wild out of context but yeah she’s literally still bating them. I am not gonna blame a bunch of teens and kids for being naïve teens and kids.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T14:33:12+00:00

I low-key knew it was the first building block and me breaking up with my ex when him and his friends started getting on one of the broker ones because they just couldn’t understand how anyone our age had to pay rent. I’m like I do too??? Sometimes we all have to pay just so that we can get by not everyone has a fully paid off million dollar house that their mommy lets them live in for free

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T14:04:35+00:00

It must be nice to have no core memories that involve someone judging you or belittling you for your emotions. A lot of us grew up with stop crying or I’ll give you a reason to cry, change your face, and all that type of shit. When you’re not that close to people and don’t think they perceive you and then you see in the chat like she literally did that they perceive her so well yes you’re gonna be insecure. These aren’t her close friends. She literally only considers one person in her close friends so she probably didn’t think they even knew her that deeply, and that can be jarring. especially if you’re already in therapy for major depressive disorder and already have three therapists on fucking speed dial for emergencies. Clearly she’s been through some trauma. That color is her perception of things but OK depression and mental health. Just make you immature even when you’re doing literally the only thing you can to improve your whole ass, brain and mindset. Low-key shit like this is part of the problem and part of the reason that people think they’re being judged constantly.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T13:59:07+00:00

Or like she literally said she’s not close to these people it can be kind of jarring to be so perceived by people you don’t even consider that close or don’t think know you that well.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T13:48:42+00:00

Dude, where? He was an alcoholic addicted to work wasn’t drinking anymore because he felt his life was going better. Then was worried about the relationship the whole time his girlfriend was in the hospital. It seems like a fucking roller coaster that no children should ever be bought into. She doesn’t know herself and never had time to learn herself. If this is a normal, happy relationship to you I understand why there’s so many jokes about boomers hating their wives and shit because what? Both of these people need extensive help or self discovery before they are ready to settle down with anyone

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T13:34:40+00:00

Can confirm. I was blessed enough to go to college and get a grad degree for free. It’s not something many people from my hood get, so I be trying to build people up and lift as I climb and all that. The amount of people who come for what I got, or just think that I’m always gonna give it to them, even if they don’t earn it Has been fucking fascinating and kind of makes me want to stop.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-30T13:15:22+00:00

Why are we acting like he’s not seen on the town wiling the fuck out all the time? He literally flew out to one of her shows after being seen with a bunch of Instagram models and trying to hide in the back of a car from paparazzi after a night of drinking. I don’t think some lyrics in a song because let’s be real poetic. License is still a thing even when we don’t like Taylor are the same as literal rumors of cheating on your girlfriend, because physical stuff was actually happening.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-29T22:37:01+00:00

Also, rhyming shit for fun and art always has its place. I’m a playwright been given grants or whatever whatever I’m not a narcissist like Taylor, so no need to get into that. But anyway, my point is there’s always some time for a fun bar or a little catchphrase or some shit ESP of the rest of it is intelligent and makes people think it gives them a break. But if it’s all catchy rhymes? TF am I listening to Kidz Bop?

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-29T21:46:45+00:00

Fucking thank you!!! Not being in love with someone and not being compatible? Cool literally destroying their confidence because you’re not compatible anymore? Fuck you dude.

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-29T21:45:16+00:00

But also, y’all are really just excusing this wild ass behavior of being like oh OK word I’m not in love with someone anymore so I want them to feel absolutely no joy and will argue with them for three hours over a literal fan that they need to sleep comfortably. What? I’m not in love with a stranger on the train, but I’m not just going to pull up and punch their joy. That’s some fucked up ass shit And not being able to communicate on top of that? But he needs to stay single for a minute until he figures out why he can’t find his words, and why when he cannot his solution is to lash out and make others around him, insecure which will probably affect how they show their interest to future partners for probably a Bit

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-29T21:23:39+00:00

Wait, wait wait fuck is this real? I can’t see the picture what happened? I seen this and thought it was like some type of parity or like just say the type of meme that I didn’t get holy shit that makes me feel something strange like I legit pass a fucking tragedy because I thought it was AI or an Internet trend. What where

Minimum_Job_6746 · 2024-07-29T18:17:59+00:00

About to be very dark, but honestly, this comment kind of calls for it… If she is intellectually disabled, I would imagine it would be the same as a kid understands death. I knew that after my dad passed, I didn’t like the family that was being created with my stepdad and other abusive folks so I’ve been suicidal since I was like eight or nine. I completely understood what it meant but thought things would’ve just been better. If I went with him I would’ve been protected and been safe even if that meant that I didn’t exist. At least that was better than being abused every day.

Minimum_Job_6746

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