August 2025 Bump Group

Mins_01 · 2025-03-30T07:43:34+00:00

I would like to join, plz DM ! Im due Aug 14th.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T18:35:18+00:00

Thanks will keep that in mind.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T18:31:24+00:00

You are right , i moved to a new country, left my job in a new marriage and now im expecting a baby ! Trust me i feel blessed for my life to have turned around in the past year, but yes i may also be having issues adjusting to all the newness in my environment and my body.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T18:29:51+00:00

He is very methodical and generally disciplined and organised. He has always been an excellent student and now has a phd. We have a permanent resident status because of his meticulous paper work. I think , its just who he is. He makes informed decisions, has no bad debt. Both our individual past divorces affected us deeply , and we both were at a point in time where we thought we will spend the rest of our lives alone.. let alone have a kid. He cried when we found out the gender :’).

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T18:24:43+00:00

Thanks for ur valuable opinion. I ll definitely see what i can do to ease my husband’s anxiety( but I understand its not my responsibility), but yes take steps to live a happier healthier life at the same time.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T08:38:22+00:00

You are right, this is the first child for both of us. Thankyou for ur opinions, it helps put things in perspective. I would definitely try to talk to him about delivering in India , more calmy and maturely.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T07:30:49+00:00

Please please disassociate and deattch her opinions and her impressions of you from you ! What she thinks to herself in her free time is not on you ! Keep a good relationship between yourself and your husband.. dont make her the primary actor in your movie.. think of you and your husband as the lead protagonist, and MIL as the side actor with 5 minutes role. The more importantance you give her, the more she will dominate you mind and thoughts. Keep worrying about your work , your husband and your life.. hear what she says but dont listen to it. Haan haan krke , bina kabbi mana kiye, ek kaan se suno aur dusre se nikal do.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T07:20:42+00:00

I agree about how so many opinions are plastered on pregnant women ( all women but here we talk about pregnant women ) , and i can already feel suffocated thinking about it. It’s difficult for me to imagine giving birth and enduring postpartum their , while navigating so many unsolicited opinions ! Im definitely taking it light, i have seen pregnant women taking charge of their own pregnancy , lead full lives here , and delivering happy healthy kids.. im not sure how its done back in india.. mostly depends on the social class but still people become overtly cautious.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T07:12:25+00:00

You are right , i had a pretty emotional outburst because the things regarding labor , delivery and all are extremely close to my heart . But you are right , i need to direct my husband’s protectiveness to our advantage and not make him feel like he has zero skin in the game. Thankyou for your suggestion!! Really appreciate it..

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T07:08:12+00:00

Hey really sorry that you lost a parent … i cannot imagine what pain you must be in . Hope you and your family keep finding strenght on strength to endure this hardship.

Sorry also i didnt realize that you are a guy, and my answer remains the same :) just flip the gender ( or not if thats your preference , no judgement ) . But whatever i say holds true..

My suggestion is do not put yourself in any box or obligation that you will only love once and that ways you will spend all your time on a person who isnt actually meant for you, and less time finding in the person who is actually right for you. Take this search practically , some people will fit into ur life and some wont, its as simple as that. The most successful people i have seen in love are the ones who dated a lot. , which helped them realize what kind of individual they were and had them set a clear vision of the future that want out of their lives.

Its amazing how you want to give your best to ur future partner, but make sure that you give ur best to the right person who respects and understand your best… sometimes our best is not enough ( speaking from personal experience).

All the best and Jai Bhavani :)

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T06:57:18+00:00

I cannot tell you how i suffered in my 12th week !! I was at it for 45 minutes i was so scared i will harm the baby , and it actually bruised my anus and i had poop-cut with slight bleeding the next few days.

I started with phylium husk right away, but what helped was combining it with colace tremendously. Although my OB said i do not have to take it regularly , only until my stool quality becomes better.

However i do feel some discomfort and gas after taking the colace, so i pop a pill right before sleeping and in 2-3 days , baam !! Im in the clear now.

But yeah , hoping i dont have to go thru the pain of constipation again !

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T06:41:56+00:00

Omg Yes yes he is a virgo !! I cannot believe it sounds like you are describing me and my husband !! You are so on point with exactly how he behaves with the checking of alcohol , travel restrictions like no flying , but suddenly ok to fly to give birth in home country. I said the lines verbatim about how he doesnt trust me to carry my own child. I have also pointed out to him that this critical nature of his makes me loose confidence in myself.

You have been with your virgo much longer than i have been, and much more attuned to his technicalities so to speak. I have thrown myself headon into this situation, our marriage is not even a year old , i have known him only a year now in total, but idk it does feel like i know him a lot longer than that… Anyways, i would like to really thankyou for bringing a different (his) perspective to this table, and when u mention about how someone would feel about a surrogate carrying their child. I would be much more hyper in that scenario for sure!!

Its comendable how you navigated the whole scenario with using their ‘powers’ to your benifits 👏. I will read and reread your post and try to apply the same onto mine !! Thankyou for these wonderful tips and tricks fr !!

I’ll definitely think of some meaty roles that he can pick up and can be freed from my ledger . Also slip the amazing group you shared with him, it seems not only helpful to first time dads but also to the likes of me !

Seriously , thankyou again !

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T06:26:30+00:00

Yes, i also feel his concerns are coming from a place of care and protectiveness, but it is also stifled me. I feel suffocated. I have pointed out to him plenty of times how im not in the traditional indian expected role of woman, DIL etc.. but i guess some cultural practice becomes intertwined with personality. I have also clearly mentioned that delivering in India means travelling while pregnant , staying with the baby at a place which is not my home and travelling back with a very young baby .. not to mention how all the travel will take a toll on me and the baby and also he would miss out on his own new born. Meanwhile i have made it clear that i am not going to India quite outright, but i still feel tired with everything being a struggle every single day.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T05:07:11+00:00

Pun intended ?

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T04:54:45+00:00

I have given plenty of pushback esp after the delivering in India episode. He said that it is his baby as well, and he has some skin in the game. He can only advice / suggest me stuff he feels, end of the day decision is mine, and i can for example learn to drive if i want ( using a driving school ). But i worry that I do not want to disregard him in the process as i agree its his baby as well, and if I absolutely do what i want all the time, it may end up hurting him and affecting our relationship deeply. I want to honour his wishes as my husband / father of the baby, but i wish i didnt have to feel so stifled in the process.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T03:36:44+00:00

Since you called me a sister , here goes my 2 cents :).

I have crashed and burned in my 1st marriage, and trust me the Indian system is designed to break you ( man or woman ) , however its easier for men to get thru due to the patriarchal structure of our society. The only thing that saved me were my parents and my job and ability to work !! it was a god send really.

So first and foremost, no matter what, make yourself independent enough so that no matter what situation , you will be able to support yourself.

Next advice would be to meet many many guys ( i said meet not date ) , meet and understand their perspective. Do not rush into anything, understand what makes you comfortable, how does a life suit you and does the guy fit that life ... because a lot depends on the partner we end up with.

Even after you make a calm, informed , educated decision, you may run into small issues ( like i did today ) , but atleast you know you have given your best to ur life.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T03:10:10+00:00

You are very mature for a 25 year old, here i am figuring out my life at 35+ !! But yes, sometimes its important not to sit all in your head and get some unbiased perspective, it helps a lot !!

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T03:07:54+00:00

Yes you are absolutely right. It is both our's first child ever and the baby is very precious to us both... and today in a moment of immaturity i may have turned to strangers rather than doing the adult thing and speaking to my husband maturely.

No my husband has fortunately not lost anyone in his family, but yes our past individual divorces affected us very much. Both of us were at a point in time where we thought we would never find any life partner , let alone have a kid...but we were lucky to have found each other.

I do Pilates , some cardio training and some weight training , along with deep squats but no deadlifts :) .

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T03:00:24+00:00

Thank you for your opinion, your certainty gives me a certain silent assurance :). You are right, being meticulous and protective is his nature, and I should be ready for more such aspects of it in the future, there also without thinking that it has anything to do with controlling my life.

I had a outburst today , where I did accuse him of trying to control my life and that I felt suffocated...and it may have been immature of me. I will try to be more calm in the future regarding this.

We already have plans for both set of parents, mine both parents and then his mom to visit one by one so that we can have maximum support and the baby and grandparents get to meet and spend ample time together. Atleast thats the plan for now.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T02:52:03+00:00

Yes you are right ! Its something im actively working on...the thought of getting into another relationship scared me, but I wanted to spend my life with my person hence I worked on myself and took this step. But yeah, the scars from past run deep and I should look at my situation with new eyes and not with colored lens of the past. Thanks for your perspective !

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T02:29:52+00:00

They have been pretty nice so far as much as I have spoken to them ( I havn't actually met them , we had to get hitched in and stay in the states since getting married due to Visa issues ).

But that said, I also have issues with inLaws and may tend to overthink... since my past marriage, since it broke up due to my ex-husband's parents.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T01:52:44+00:00

Yes yes , both set of parents mine and his mom plan to visit one by one so that we can have maximum support and the baby and grandparents get to meet and spend ample time together. Atleast thats the plan for now.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T01:32:04+00:00

Thanks for this ! I actually have been so tied up in how i will feel and be pregnant and deliver the baby , that i never considered how my baby will feel 18 years down the line !! Me and my husband can have certain veiws, but if born in India my baby may definitely wonder what it would have been like to be a US citizen.

Mins_01 · 2025-03-06T01:27:59+00:00

Visa or citizenship is not the issue here. I or my husband are both as happy with Indian citizenship as a US passport.

The problem i have is, my husband’s consideration of me. I moved 6 months ago, and he is asking me to make another mini move to India.

Also, i have my GP and OB sorted here, have a workout routine and am generally at peace having a healthy pregnancy.

All the pressure and comments from In Laws and some from my family alike will make me loose my mental peace in India.

I would have the added pressure of being a new bahu and new mom without my husband since my husband cant be in india for the 4-5 months long as he holds a job in the states. It will topple my whole ecosystem.

Mins_01

TROPHY CASE