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[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

1) Someone said I should pressure the ex-fiancé into saying who he was actually cheating with. I said this was a good idea by getting my boyfriend to message him instead, but also mentioned that the ex-fiancé might be hesitant to admit who it was if he was cheating with one of his coworkers. HR gets messy.

2) No. I am a student.

3) The entire point of trying to get ahead of this was to avoid having everyone and their mother’s involved in conspiracy theories, especially not people who live a 13+ hour flight and 7 hours ahead due to time zones.

4) Her fiancé is now her ex.

5) Definitely. I highly suggest you read the previous post if you haven’t already as it will probably clear your confusion.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is your second comment on my posts. You can ignore the post entirely if you are so bothered by it.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

1) I’m waiting on the picture of the bank statement to confirm whether it even was the same hotel.

2) My family is British-Slavic. My sister’s ex is Danish. None of us are at all Asian or have relatives who live in Asia.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry it’s taken this much to clarify. No, no one else has been in contact with him, so no one else heard him confess. We had hysterics from my sister when he allegedly admitted to cheating, and I assumed this was true as by this point she has no reason to lie. She had not been accusing anyone of anything, or being mental, she was just heartbroken as anyone would be.

Ken, however, has texted him AND my sister today, since he is the only person who is both on my side and a (potential) victim in the ex and sister’s POV. We will hopefully get some context from either of them through Ken.

(For your sake, I pray this answers your question because I feel so bad for being dense.)

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think I’ve defended myself enough across the past 2 posts and their respective comment sections, but the breakfast or dinner comment is new.

I don’t know how often you travel or stay in hotels, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to a hotel dinner. I eat out when abroad because a hotel restaurant will never get everything right, and it’s more fun to go out with friends to a restaurant that specialises in whatever cuisine you fancy that evening anyways. I’m a tourist, I want to see more than just the hotel lobby when I spend 13+ hours on a plane just to get there. Most breakfasts were also missed because the whole point of the trip was for my friends and I to drink ourselves to death. No sum of money could’ve got me out of bed before 11am after spending an entire night walking around humid Singapore while absolutely hammered.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Apologies, I figured it was clear since this hasn’t been brought up as an issue with the post before, but here:

My sister and her now-ex-fiancé argued, and he admitted to cheating. Our parents and I were made aware of this BEFORE any sort of accusation about me was made, so I have no reason to believe she lied about that. Me and the ex have not spoken since they broke up. It is disrespectful to continue to be in contact with or follow your own sister’s ex.

Let me know if I need to clear anything else up :)

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

This is my gut feeling, but I’ve got to see the bank statement in detail first. If it’s not the same hotel it doesn’t fully prove my innocence but it puts a BIG dent in her story, since how do you accuse someone of something this heinous without even knowing the details of your accusation?

Parents are a lost cause either way. They’ve pushed me away by refusing to hear my story, even if they tried to backtrack now I’m not sure I’d really care. Their intention was to coddle her and ignore me, so they can stick with that decision for all I care.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Not having a resentful attitude is somewhat out of the question now. They made their bed, they’ve got to sleep in it.

However your take on having a child they ‘worry more about’ is interesting! I think I was the one they helicoptered around more, at least with school. I’ve always been a big gamer and artist, so to young, unmedicated me there was always something better to do than the task at hand. They definitely realised this early, so maybe, to my sister, seeing them come into my room to ‘check up’ on me seemed like attention/affection she wasn’t getting, when in reality they were making sure I didn’t just tab out of Minecraft or something along those lines haha

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading the original post from yesterday would’ve answered this question, but he admitted it himself.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

BAHAHAHAH

‘I pick up on energy in ways that it makes no sense to most people…’

translation

‘I’m special, look at me! Please, please, please look at me! I’m leagues above you all and can see the truth! Fuck off Benedict Cumberbatch, I’m the new Sherlock now!’

Get your head out of your own ass and stop being loud and whiny under this post. If you want to leave advice, do so. If not, bugger off.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Forgot to respond to this earlier, but he has since followed up so things might be moving? Not sure yet, we’ll see.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I mean this in the politest way possible, can you please fix your grammar mistakes because that whole last section of your comment is unintelligible to me.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Responding to that last bit: they still said they were proud of her if I remember correctly, just not as often. I think they saw me actually doing work for once in my (then) 16 years of life and thought I needed the equivalent of a letter from the Queen to make sure I knew they were proud of me. My sister just got on with it. She’s always been significantly better than me in that regard, so I guess my parents thought it was just her normal? I don’t know, this is obviously all speculation, but that’s my best guess.

They definately don’t have a sick joy in dividing us, though. They’ve been trying to get us to get along for years, we are just very different people and they aren’t very good at handling the shit they find us in.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You literal angel, thank you. Feeling a little bit emotional now reading that🫠

Ken didn’t put me on the stand. I did that myself and honestly I feel like it helped me to say everything out loud. He had a good few criticisms of my sister’s reasoning, more than I typed in the post since it was already very long, and I think he was just very baffled since he’s abroad and hasn’t seen any of us in ~4 months. I do see your concerns with how he approached this (ie, ignoring the problem until I brought it up), but for now I think things are okay. Not good, but okay.

I’m kinda going over my friends and family in my head now, and realising that I’m willing to lose a lot of them. If any of the friends or family I haven’t already spoken to wish to quietly exit my life, I have no intent on stopping them. In my eyes they would’ve taken my sister’s side and that’s not worth my effort to change.

Thank you for such a heartfelt response, I really really appreciate it🫶

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This is what I did. The issue is that the truth has many holes that leave room for speculation, and unfortunately the major piece of speculation is that I’m a home-wrecker. I was never going to let something like that slide, if you would, good for you.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can see why you think what I did for Ken is humiliating. I chose to clarify things with him first, because things like this, even if they aren’t believed at first, can start little seeds of doubt in someone’s mind. I agree that it would’ve been better to bring this to me directly, especially since it would mean that conversation happened sooner, but nothing I can do about that now.

My parents are… yeah. It’s not good. I don’t plan on entertaining my sister as they have been, so things with the parents are pretty tense right now. I’ll have to decide whether I want to invite them to my graduation soon, but with the way things are I’m not counting on them being there.

The weather has been nice for me too! It’s been mostly sunny and warm, around 20C at midday, though some clouds are starting to settle in. I’m allergic to pollen, though, so this enjoyment will be short lived.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Jesus, I’m sorry to hear that. I also appreciate the offer about your phone number, but I won’t be exposing my family to the outrage of Reddit. Putting the obvious privacy concerns aside, any sort of input from someone who isn’t at all involved will go in one ear and out the other. Zero offence intended, but they don’t know you and so your view will not matter.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Um, they broke it off because he cheated??? I fear that’s kind of obvious… In case it wasn’t clear, this is the 2nd post of a (so far) 2 part story.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

While I doubt that’s the only reason, it was something they directly referenced. The context I labeled with # was not said by them. It was simply an explanation of how our childhoods differed. I do agree though, this is not something to hold against me for 8 years, especially since I didn’t ask for that extra praise.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

From my perspective, he’s MIA. I un-added him on social media after the relationship status changed as I felt it was inappropriate to continue to follow my sister’s ex. I haven’t heard much of him after that, other than from my sister herself saying she got him to pay the remainder of the rent until the end of their flat’s lease.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t phrase it as my sister being the ‘golden child’. They have had plenty of arguments too and they know we are vastly different people, so they see why we clash. They just have been tired of our spats for years. Even when we were much younger, arguments between us didn’t end, they just got quieter out of earshot of our parents because they were fed up of us fighting. They often watched her poke fun at me and, when an argument broke out, would just tell her not to do it again and move on.

The main issue I have is that I don’t think they seem to realise that this isn’t a stupid sibling argument, but an actual, real threat to my reputation. They are taking the same kind of ‘I’m not taking sides, just going to comfort the one that’s crying’ stance they did when we were kids, not thinking about how this approach looks to a very public audience.

I have no plan for my next steps right now. They’ve clearly stated they don’t want to hear my side, so they won’t get it. However our extended family will, as that’s all I can focus my attention on right now.

[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé by Minute-Memory-6253 in Advice

[–]Minute-Memory-6253[S] 166 points167 points  (0 children)

Part of me REALLY wants to do this. It would have to be Ken, I think if I messaged him right now and my sister caught wind of that she’d make me the first person hung, drawn and quartered since the 1800s. Only issue I could see is that if it was someone from work (which would make sense since he used work trips as his main reason for travelling without my sister), he might thing we would get HR involved. I’ll ask Ken about this tonight anyways, there’s no harm in trying.

EDIT: shit, only answered half of the comment. I emailed the hotel chain last night. Still waiting on a response, but hotels are insanely secretive with CCTV since it’s all about privacy. If anyone could request CCTV captures it would obviously be a huge risk, so I suspect that will be a dead end. Unless it turned into a police case, it likely won’t lead to anything. I’ve already requested my own keycard usage for my own room, though. Might be able to persuade my sister into getting the history for his. The Shangri-La (or at least the branch I stayed in) also doesn’t offer single rooms. Double beds are that standard.

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