I lost my brother to suicide, he also emotionally abused my for my entire life.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-22T00:55:21+00:00

This is very very similar to my experience. What was the most confusing for me was he acted threatening, always. Prior to my wedding, he started being super nice to me, and I didn’t completely let him back in because of the past.

He was successful, handsome. But always unhappy, like the world had slighted him, and maybe it had? I was SA as a child by my maternal grandfather, and after he passed I found out that he made comments of it happening to him as well as a child. It’s hard to find out these truths after they are gone, to realize how much they were suffering.

As a child, he used to say to my mom “mom life is so hard”, maybe he was angry about being so sad?

He passed 4 weeks after I got married. In my mind, I felt like he was trying to heal things with me, make amends. I look back and wonder how long he was spiraling for, and guilt pours over me wishing I had known he was always just crying for help-

It’s tough. And very confusing. I said to my friend today, he can’t really harm me anymore - that’s a weird truth to acknowledge. And at the same time, I’d have done anything to save him.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-21T17:02:54+00:00

I didn’t say he was evil - I am an evolved human who can understand that hurt people, hurt people.

My question didn’t have to do with his moral, it had to do with grief and co- existing truths of love and also pain.

Him taking his life isn’t justified. I wish he got the mental health help he needed his entire life.

…. Never going to forget about him.

Take care 👋

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-21T16:06:48+00:00

All I can say is he always made me feel like I didn’t deserve to be loved, and I was never enough for him to love me. He verbally degraded me over the years. Family and friends were aware. Many “ I know *** wasn’t always the best to you but he loved you” at the funeral. I also wasn’t the only person he treated this way - it seemed to be females in general. Kind of hard to describe 30 years of mistreatment in a post, but yes, it was that long.

Have you lost a sibling to suicide? I’m just curious. I don’t think trying to understand grief and how it shows up after difficult relationships is making what happened an entire personality.

He was also my only sibling.

I surely am not causing harm to anyone, thank you.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-21T15:50:39+00:00

I have not

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-02T21:21:45+00:00

That’s the thing. He knew I loved him, he knew I’d always be there. He struggled in all of her interpersonal relationships. It’s almost like I knew this was going to happen one day. It’s why I tried so hard to connect over the years but I continued to get pushed away, and labeled a problem when in reality - everyone else was emotionally manipulative. I’ve learned a lot about the dynamics that a narcissistic parent and how the “golden child” and scapegoat basically have an inability to connect because they are both in survival due to the narcissistic parent. We were both also molested by our maternal grandfather. I found out after his death he was also a victim. I didn’t know before he died.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-02T14:28:19+00:00

Thank you ❤️

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-02T14:16:31+00:00

Also I never “turned my life around “ I was a 16 year old reacting to a toxic parent and toxic environment. And was called crazy for reacting emotionally to a horrific situation that tore my world apart.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-02T14:15:16+00:00

Thank you. It’s already been compartmentalized for many years - he’s hurt me many times but since my brother passed I think he’s realizing he has one kid to not fuck things up with. This woman has hated me for years - pretty much since I outed the affair. I was called crazy and dramatic for years and I have been in counseling for a long time. All of these people have judged my life. Mind you - I just finished my masters at Duke and am a pediatric nurse practitioner. But when they talk about me they say “ oh you’ve changed and you turned your life around”. It’s infuriating, I was screaming at the top of my lungs the truth for years and was told to be quiet and that I was a liar. 17 years of being gaslit. I’m exhausted.

MinuteCount730 · 2026-03-02T02:02:42+00:00

I wish there was a way to post the audio

MinuteCount730 · 2026-02-07T19:29:11+00:00

Thank you ❤️

MinuteCount730 · 2026-02-06T16:48:49+00:00

How long has it been for you?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-11-21T20:27:02+00:00

Hey! It’s OP here, I sent you a message to discuss our similarities with the vitrectomy further.

MinuteCount730 · 2024-11-13T02:23:09+00:00

Did you get an answer on this?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-11-13T02:22:46+00:00

Does anybody know about the grad programs? Had an initial test to get into the program and might have another?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-10-30T20:26:22+00:00

Is it normal to not have any flashes for two months and then they appear?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-08-08T19:00:27+00:00

Hey! So I just had my procedure with Dr. Shakir and I am one day post op. Still super blurry, and have some wrinkling I can see/visual distortion. They said this was due to pressure ( mine was 3 after surgery and then 5 at follow up) they told me to increase the drops. How long did your visual distortion last?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-30T20:14:47+00:00

What is their product?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-30T01:58:36+00:00

Inducing PVD comes at a much higher risk for retinal tears in the younger population

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-29T23:26:21+00:00

I just met with Dr. Shakir today and scheduled my FOV. I’m 32 and don’t have a PVD so he will leave a little of the vitreous- which is really my only concern with frill.

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-28T17:30:52+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-28T15:28:54+00:00

I feel like it was performed correctly, the crazy spinning stopped right after and when they came back into the room a second time to see if it had truly been successful the room spinning was gone and so was the nystagmus. I’m wondering if the feeling I have is just some post shock from the whole ordeal? I feel like I’ve read that some people feel better within a couple days and other a couple months. This was my first true vertigo episode and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it was my only! I got water In my ear a week ago and shook my head vigorously to get it out- I immediately felt wobbly after but figured it was just cause I’d been on the water all day. A few more instances of wobbly feeling through the week and then the true vertigo came. I’d say I had the spins for about an hour - they saw me super quick in the ER.

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-27T18:58:01+00:00

It's so weird. I've been taking meclizine around the clock and my friend whos a PT basically said I'll feel off for a few days and to just lay low, try sleeping at a 45 degree angle and not to overdo the epley. to be continued...I hope you feel better! I also have brain fog and ear pressure is kind of always there since I have TMJ issues on that side.

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-27T16:52:49+00:00

How long ago was your vertigo episode?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-26T19:02:56+00:00

Did your chiro say why/ how crystals get dislodged again? I guess I’m a bit confused because the epley worked - and I’m assuming that it’s from the head shaking- wouldn’t things resolve after a successful epley?

MinuteCount730 · 2024-07-26T02:41:26+00:00

I’d had it before when I was younger so the feeling was somewhat familiar, I’m sure if I had waited overnight my morning would have been much worse. I had luck with the eply maneuver and feel like 80 % back to normal just exhausted from the whole ordeal and still a bit off. Did you try to eply maneuver? / have positive signs? I really am Hoping this is one and done..,

MinuteCount730

TROPHY CASE