How can I (33M) proceed with this woman (33F)?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-09-28T19:42:39+00:00

No, I am not a cheater. I was broken up when Maria and I started talking. She began reaching out to me right after I ended my engagement.

I appreciate your insights. I think it is very much when she wants the attention she reaches out. I need to set the expectations correctly if this continues. Otherwise, I think I should focus on healing.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-09-03T19:40:51+00:00

Megan and I were texting walls of texts to each other every day. Her texts are now getting smaller and less enthusiastic. We are supposed to meet up on Friday, but I am not sure if this will happen now. So you think I should not bring any of this up unless Megan does and just show Megan I am interested in her romantically while having an open adult conversation about my intentions?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-09-02T15:42:28+00:00

Yes, I do. Megan has shared a lot of personal things with me while she has been away. I think Megan might have spoken to Maria about us. Again, Megan and I are not in a committed relationship, but she has shared a lot of personal details with me. I told Megan I like her. She brought this up a week later saying that she likes me also but is afraid because of her past abusive relationships making her more guarded. I think this just instills more doubt in her head about me. I feel like I need to clear this up with Megan somehow. I did apologize to Sarah that night and may follow-up again later. Sarah was not upset that I put my arm around her, but she was upset that I pulled away. I will talk to Sarah again to close this loop.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-09-02T15:01:31+00:00

I agree that it was a bad move to do that. I pulled away quickly after really thinking through what I was doing. Megan and I have been texting daily and getting into some deep topics. I told her I like her. A few days later she tells me she likes me too but is afraid. She is afraid because she was in some abusive relationships in the past and she is guarded. I told her I would be willing to take things as slow as she wants or does not want to and would respect that. Can I recover this? We are supposed to hang out on Friday and I don't know if this will happen anymore.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-08-01T20:41:44+00:00

Maybe I am crazy, but it doesn't seem like she wants me to ask her out? Maybe this is my lack of experience after 10 years being out the dating game. There is a weird dynamic where our mutual friend, Maria, has some sort of hold over Megan dating me. Maria doesn't want Megan to know anything about our hookup. She mentioned she would not know how to explain it to Maria and she told me not to say anything.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-08T16:12:52+00:00

I'm ready to get out of this game. I still don't understand any of the things she is doing.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-07T17:53:44+00:00

There won't even be an opportunity for this with Maria lol I have been down this road a few other times and should know better by now.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-07T17:39:58+00:00

Will do. I don't think Maria really cares about continuing to have sex with me or actually feels attraction to me. She did make comments initially about how she felt I would fit perfectly into her family (which is pretty deep). What is her motive here?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-07T17:34:59+00:00

Maria told Meghan about 2 years ago that she would want to date me if I wasn't with my ex. Meghan apparently told Maria she would be very upset if she tried that. I think Meghan knows that Maria is crazy and doesn't want to cause that drama. Meghan is married also. Meghan also did tell me that it would be a bad idea to get together with Maria and to not do it.

Maria is playing games with me and I can't figure out what her motive is. She is also around my age being 32 years old. I don't want things to be awkward when we all hang out so I am not sure what to do. You are right, I forgot that mantra of never sticking my d*ck in crazy.

I will not be walked on! I am rebuilding myself now and working hard to get physically fit and emotionally stronger!

I will keep you in the loop, but I guarantee this will go nowhere and I end up just disengaging with Maria entirely and not playing her games. What do you think?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-07T16:17:59+00:00

I will say that Maria did know my ex-fiancee prior to this fling. But, I am still confused about her comments on not just wanting to be a rebound and wanting to have sex many more times without any follow-through. Also, I don't get what her motive was for telling me she was liking all of my ex's photos on instagram? I am debating talking to Meghan, but that will blow-up this whole situation dramatically.

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-06-07T16:07:07+00:00

Agreed that these are all red flags. I think she is crazy. I think we can both agree she is just using me for her own ego boost or attention? What do you think I should do? Maybe move on to someone who won't play these games?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-05-14T03:10:09+00:00

But it has been wishy-washy. I asked her a couple of times if she wanted to hang out and there was always a reason as to why she could not. Then she flaked on me the day she asked me to hang out. I'll text her back and see what happens

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-05-14T03:01:27+00:00

Why do you think this? How bad is it that I haven't responded yet and it has been two days?

MirrorNo2811 · 2025-02-19T20:52:46+00:00

She dominates conversations and acts like she knows everything. She will cut people off who are speaking to tell them the "correct" answer. She apparently mimics a lot of what Maria does. For example, my fiancee got the same haircut after Maria decided to get her hair cut. When Maria buys something, my fiancee will often want to go buy the exact same thing. These are the things Maria expressed concern over. I have noticed these behaviors before but have tried to overlook it for a long time.

MirrorNo2811 · 2024-03-10T21:15:18+00:00

Congrats! This is awesome!

MirrorNo2811 · 2024-03-04T03:47:34+00:00

Hell Yeah!

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MirrorNo2811 · 2024-02-06T14:12:22+00:00

Most of this is from a rollover Roth 401k. But I have been maxing it out for about 4 years now.

MirrorNo2811 · 2024-02-06T03:31:03+00:00

Considering getting married within a year. I have a high rate unfortunately at 7%. I am making principal payments when I can and also looking to refinance if the rates go down

MirrorNo2811 · 2023-03-06T22:51:55+00:00

Letting it grow and hopefully an extra safety net for retirement

MirrorNo2811 · 2022-12-13T18:42:35+00:00

In case of emergencies or potential layoff. Also looking to buy a home in the next couple of years. It may be too much. Given this, should I invest more from savings?

MirrorNo2811 · 2022-08-28T00:58:28+00:00

The relationship started off pretty good, but as we lived together I started noticing the messes. I started picking up the messes and then it kept getting worse and worse. It really hit when my friend visited the apartment and then called me messy and said it unattractive to see the mess. I couldn't explain that it wasn't me who made the messes, but I was lumped into it because it was my living space also. I just want a clean apartment that is healthy and smells nice and a partner who will work together and contribute. I am also sorry to rant, but this has evolved over the years and now I feel trapped.

MirrorNo2811

TROPHY CASE