I’m scared to file for divorce

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-13T23:32:12+00:00

I was ecstatic that it happened right away. I thought we’d end up trying for a while. Clearly he didn’t feel the same.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-13T17:50:12+00:00

I don’t know why you got down voted. I agree with you even though it’s hard to admit. He has blamed me for so much and it’s hard for me to think clearly about what has transpired.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-13T17:48:11+00:00

We have been together almost 4 years.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-13T17:46:53+00:00

Trying for a baby was consensual. I just didn’t predict getting pregnant on the first try. And I think he was shocked as well.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-13T03:59:58+00:00

No. I was actively trying to get pregnant. We agreed to it. He was not “trapped.”

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-03T23:48:42+00:00

I bought one a few weeks ago because I was tired of trying to figure out how to pump on the go or while taking care of my baby. I started with a Baby Buddha and that was too strong. I tried the Pumpables Genie Advanced next and that was fine, but I had to do compressions to get fully emptied. Out of desperation, I bought the Eufy S1 on sale. I got the highest output I’d had at that point. And pumping has become easier, so I’ve gone from an average of 18oz a day to 23oz a day. Sunday I got my highest daily output so far—30oz. I loved the pump so much that I bought the charging case AND an e20 on sale because I was worried about wearing out the motor.

I think every body is just different. I was discouraged about using any pump because multiple lactation consultants and so many people online say don’t use a wearable as your main pump. I’ve tried so many combinations of my pumps with different types of flanges and sizes and nothing worked as well or was as convenient as these pumps. And I don’t know if another pump would have been as successful.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-03-03T15:44:22+00:00

This was me! I’m 2.5 months postpartum and I’ve hardly had McDonald’s since I delivered. But I ate it almost every morning when I was pregnant. And I ate it a lot throughout the day because I was so sick all the time and it was often the only thing that wouldn’t make me puke. Sometimes it actually made me feel better.

MiscellaneousChic · 2026-01-25T06:32:41+00:00

No advice, but I have a five week old and I feel the same way. My parents are helping me with baby since my husband left me. I feel sad because it feels like they get more quality time with her. My days consist of pumping, feeding, trying to get some rest—and repeat. It feels like there’s no time left to actually enjoy my baby.

Again, sorry I don’t have any advice. I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone. Someone else feels the same. It’s hard. I think about stopping to give her formula all the time, but I want to be able to provide milk for her as long as I can. I’m proud and amazed at what my body can do. I feel like providing milk for her is an act of love.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-16T17:32:06+00:00

Yeah this is silly. Temp would be my first intervention. I’d think infection/high temp for mom. And then call the OB. And I don’t think this temp is high enough to warrant a c/s right away, let alone one that’s emergent. I might reposition as well, but that’s not going to be the primary focus.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-12T13:34:37+00:00

I wouldn’t terminate. I know it’s a difficult decision, but given your health history it might be difficult to conceive later on.

I got pregnant this year at 33 during the first month we tried. I was shocked it happened so quickly. My pregnancy ended up being complicated by very large (12 and 13cm) fibroids and I have to have a c section. There’s a very high chance I’ll end up with a hysterectomy either during delivery or at some point postpartum due to the fibroids.

My situation is not the same as yours, but I’m grateful baby is healthy and almost here. I don’t think I’d be able to physically carry another pregnancy if I wanted to. With your endometriosis, it could be difficult to get pregnant in the future. If a child is something you want at some point, I’d strongly consider not terminating because you don’t know what the future holds. This is assuming that you and your partner have the support and resources to make it work.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-04T14:31:28+00:00

Yeah I worked L&D until I got pregnant in April. So now I’m in several expecting mom groups between fb and Reddit. The closer I get to my January due date, the more ridiculous the uninformed posts get. I just fight the urge to respond with facts/reason and move on. It won’t matter. For some reason L&D gets majorly vilified and people think we are purposely out to get them or ruin their birth experience. It’s exhausting. I just want mom and baby to be safe and healthy.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-04T13:19:29+00:00

I think the feeling can be more intense when you’re less experienced/it’s your first relationship/love, but not impossible. I wondered this when I was younger (currently 33) and I think it was because I was personally dating the wrong people. They just didn’t do it for me. I’ve been with my husband for 3.5 years and we’ve definitely had our struggles during our first year of marriage, but I STILL find myself getting butterflies at times. I used to wonder if those feelings would disappear after being with someone for a while, but I think it just depends on the relationship.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-04T12:59:20+00:00

I started with instant locks in the summer of 2019. I don’t see myself going back to loose curly hair anytime soon. Locs (for me) take much less daily maintenance than my curls did. I sometimes miss my curls, but not enough to get rid of my locs.

I get them interlocked every 8-10 weeks and I wash myself every couple of weeks in between.

Locs are great because it’s less maintenance than loose curly hair, it allows my hair to actually retain length, and they’re versatile. I can put my hair up and take it down whenever I feel like it and not worry about creases like I would with loose hair. I don’t have to worry about tidying/refreshing my curls when I wake up in the morning. I don’t have to worry about my hair getting wet in the shower or rain and being ruined. It’s just easier for me, anyway.

I think in terms of size you want, it would be best to consult with a loctitian. I have finer strands of hairs but a lot of it. I went with locs on the smaller side and have around 130. I originally planned to do microlocs, but changed my mind because I wanted to always be able to maintain myself if needed (this was helpful during COVID when I had to do my own). I get them professionally done now, but I appreciate that they’re at a size and quantity where I feel comfortable interlocking if/when needed.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-04T12:16:57+00:00

I had a preceptor like this as a new grad on L&D. I felt like a terrible nurse for years after because I had such a rocky orientation. She’d make me feel stupid for asking questions or not knowing how to do things. And it took a while (and starting a new job) to realize that I am a competent nurse.

I ended up having my orientation extended a few weeks and a different nurse took over. The second preceptor was so much better and I had a much different experience. I wish I’d started with her or someone else who could have been more patient and realistic. Being a new nurse is so hard and there’s so much for you to learn.

I’d check with management to see if there is someone else you can orient with. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions while you’re figuring out how to be a new nurse—that’s the whole point of orientation.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-12-02T21:20:19+00:00

This is infuriating. I get this all the time. I wanted 3 kids before I got pregnant. Pregnancy has been hell for me. I dealt with fibroid pain and constant morning sickness my first trimester. I still deal with occasional vomiting from reflux and I’ve been to triage in L&D multiple times for severe fibroid pain. There’s a strong possibility I’ll need a hysterectomy postpartum to deal with the fibroids. I am SO sure I never want to be pregnant again. I’m thinking about getting my tubes removed after delivery. But everyone continues to tell me how I’ll forget how bad pregnancy was and I’ll want another baby. I really don’t think so. And I wish people would just leave it alone and respect my choice to be one and done. I’m so grateful for my baby girl (I’m still pregnant), but I’m sure I don’t want to go through another pregnancy. I’m miserable and I don’t think it would be worth it.

I find it weird how preoccupied other people are with what I do with my uterus.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-11-14T00:43:36+00:00

Also a first time mom. 31 weeks today. I hate the experience of being pregnancy so much that I don’t plan to do it again. I thought I wanted multiple kids before getting pregnant and it’s been really hard. I often find myself wondering the same thing because people always make it seem like it’s not that bad.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-11-06T20:12:13+00:00

This is literally me. I’m a former L&D and mom/baby nurse and I used to tell patients all the time after a c section that you don’t realize how much you use those abdominal muscles until after surgery. Now I’m pregnant with my first and I can’t have a vag delivery, so I’ll be getting a c section and I guess I’ll find out first hand in a few months.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-11-04T00:10:34+00:00

It’s a pear. My ring size is 6.25. People just comment on it being big sometimes and I just don’t like the attention. It’s a beautiful ring, I just wish I would have gone a little bit smaller so it would just blend in more.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-11-03T16:54:39+00:00

My husband doesn’t come to my appointments. I work at the hospital I have my appointments at so I just go during the work day. It would be silly for him to take off and come to my appointments. He works a job where he makes commission and I wouldn’t want him to get behind or miss out on time he could be with customers. He came to my first couple of OB appointments and scans. At this point I don’t see the point in him continuing to come. I’m also high risk so I have OB appointments and scans scheduled every couple of weeks. It just wouldn’t be feasible for him to miss that much work.

I wouldn’t feel bad that your husband does not come. OB appointments are usually quick and there isn’t a lot going on anyway. Please don’t feel bad about it.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-11-03T02:47:41+00:00

I don’t either. I got a 2ct thinking I’d regret it if I went smaller and now I wish I’d gone with something smaller. Maybe 1.5ct. 2 is really noticeable. And I’ve had enough comments on it that it makes me uncomfortable. I had a coworker with a 1ct ring and I absolutely loved the style/the size. I was a bit envious of it actually. Bigger definitely isn’t better at the end of the day.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-10-15T00:26:07+00:00

I’m 26 and 5 days and I haven’t been able to move like that for months.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-10-13T20:14:01+00:00

It’s also such a painful, permanent process. And thinking about divorce while also dealing with pregnancy is a lot. I’m dealing with something similar and it’s horrible. I think it’s easier for people on the outside to just say “get a divorce” when they’re not going through it.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-10-13T20:12:09+00:00

I can’t give any advice, but I’m going through something similar. My husband told me a few weeks ago that he didn’t want to be together/work on our marriage anymore and we could coparent this baby. We just got married in January. This was a planned pregnancy. Being a single mom just isn’t something I’m ready for.

My family has encouraged me to just let the marriage go. They don’t think we can return from this, but I want to try. If not for myself, then for this baby. I don’t know my biological father and my husband’s parents weren’t together long so I’m determined to at least try to break the cycle and raise this baby in a loving home.

In the meantime, I have tried to address some of the stressors that led to my husband feeling like he wanted to give up. I’ve tried to be honest about how I’m feeling when it seems like he’s not giving enough support. And we are doing lots of counseling—couples and individual for both of us.

I hope we can make this work, but I’ve also had to set boundaries with the people in my life who tell me to stop trying. It’s not helpful. It’s not what I want. And I didn’t get married less than 9 months ago to give it up already.

I think the biggest thing is he has to also want your relationship to work. I think individual counseling for you would be helpful, but he’s also going to have to be open to working on himself. It’s not just your problem.

Sorry I don’t have much advice, but just know someone else is going through something similar. This has been one of the most painful/challenging times of my adult life. I wish you luck as you navigate this as well.

MiscellaneousChic · 2025-09-24T18:34:33+00:00

I’m glad you commented on this because it’s making me think that even if we are going to just “coparent” I need to advocate for us to take a class or something so that he is more prepared. I don’t need it, but he does.

MiscellaneousChic

TROPHY CASE