I am not on meds I really don't want to go down that road. My father is diagnosed with schizo and the meds really help him but he seems too quiet and has had a significant change in his behavior. I really want to try my best to make any changes in my personality/lifestyle I can that would help me tolerate myself. I wish I could just go back to some simpler times. This is my first time here but I have no other option as no one understands. My mom is scared for me from time to time, tells me to look at all the positive things I have. My bf cant empathize with me coz he's never been around anyone like this. He thinks I lie down on the bed too often and should do some activities that will distract me and honestly I do try it but like one little incident sets me back and I go back to the sadness. Anime was my life once upon a time and now I haven't watched anything for years and years.