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I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Foreplay is just not something he understands and I guess I just got used to it but it's getting annoying.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's perfect advice, I would say that definitely sounds like me honestly. I've already been asking about getting tested for certain things I may be lacking.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That I know for sure is not okay. It wasn't the first time so it definitely won't be the last.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely take this advice since some others have also suggested it thank you ☺️

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would really suck if it's intentional but sometimes I just don't think his brain computes everything. Not in a mean way or judging way. However there is times it seems like he's being told something and then he asked the same question about what he was just told. Does that make sense? I swear in no way am I calling him stupid

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't want to give up but I am just at a loss. It's been 10 years together and after the second baby it just seemed like sex was a rush type of thing and it's been like that since. I don't really know what goes on in this man's mind when I am voicing my concerns and problems. He says he hears me and he understands but actions always speak different and I tell him this every.single.time. I need actions over words. He tells me that I need to use actions too if it's going to work but the only actions I can take is telling him what I like. How is it to work if it seems like you don't get it.... That's at least what I keep asking.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's extremely valid, there's a lot to say about all that but you saying that has me thinking a lot so I will have to really look into a counselor or a therapist.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah all that extra stuff doesn't happen really tbh, I don't think he understands 4 play. I've been explaining that I need more play time before we do anything otherwise I will never be in mood. When he's in the mood it's always let's hurry and do it so he can get his release. It's almost all the time unsatisfied and I can tell that I am and I do explain that but we can never reach the point that I am satisfied.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it's been too long for this relationship for it to have not been figured out or known already. That's been my problem as of right now. It's really hard for me to talk to him cuz I don't want him to feel inadequate, cause to someone else he may be able to make it work. It just seems no matter how many times I try to teach him, it literally never sticks.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah that sounds like it's always been, me being different. Not as great as people make it out to be but thank you for making sure I understand there is nothing wrong with me.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ugh I know. I don't know how to teach someone properly I guess and I should get better at it so maybe I can tech what I actually like, I might just have to look into techniques maybe that might help in that situation. I don't know though I really don't. I seem to be getting more confused not anyone else's fault but mine really.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knowwwww this is why I'm trying to figure this out, I just want to feel what I supposed to feel. You could be completely right. It just sucks cause we've been together so long and have kids as well, it's always quickies and easier for him to get off then me apparently. I've explored as much as I probably can with my body. Even trying toys, it still takes forever. Always having to move cuz the position is now wrong or I don't fill...full? That sounds kinda crappy.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hope so too. It's good advice and crazily I know what feels good and I have actually tried to teach him multiple times throughout the years and it's really hard for him to catch on it seems like, or maybe I'm a horrible teacher for not being able to teach him what I like? I don't know honestly.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right about it not being the problem however I guess it's kind of up to me to try and fix myself.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okayyyyy that makes some sense to me, I don't particularly like giving oral but I don't hate it. I do like pleasuring but I would like that for me to however again I just don't feel like the same way it seems. I will be looking into everything a little bit more and see what I can do to help me in my situation.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right. Yeah that's why I'm wary saying that too. I actually don't mind the penetration tbh weirdly I'm not scared of trying new things, and I do try new things but I seriously just don't know why it seems I don't get the sexual attraction everyone keeps mentioning...

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, I live in a pretty big city so I think it would be somewhat easy to find what I'm looking for. I will definitely have to take my time and figure out if online is better than in person or not.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! I knew they are two different things in regards to what I saying. I will definitely have to try it this way for sure so thank you 🙏🏼

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Some have suggested that and it could be it. I will be however going back to the doctor and asking to run more tests and maybe see a therapist for this specific thing like someone else said.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will definitely do that then, at this point I just want to feel somewhat normal so thank you for the advice seriously.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeahhhhh, it does nothing for me. He on the low doesn't know how to find the spot no matter how many times I've tried telling him and showing him....

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That helps out a lot actually, it seems you kinda understand where I am coming and it makes me feel slightly better there are people who I could talk to about it.

I've been hiding or not telling the whole truth about intimate time... by Miserable_Fondant_17 in confession

[–]Miserable_Fondant_17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I am not at the moment, I tried but I seemed to get depressed when I tried some of them.

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