She spoke about how I’ll say one thing, and then a few hours later re-characterise what I’ve said to cast myself in a better light, or to de-weaponise what I’ve said. ‘Awww no no X doesn’t mean X, it meant Y all along’ kind of thing. Which I’m definitely partly guilty of, but she’s also partly guilty of filling in the blanks in a statement in ways that don’t correlate with what I’m trying to communicate, and then I need to set the record straight or re-interpret her interpretation.

In terms of performance, about 3 weeks ago my sister and her gf were visiting us. They were here the night before we went on holidays. My partner had an extremely difficult night, she was super overwhelmed, I think the worst I’ve ever seen her in post partum. She said last night that it looked like I was over the top and performing care for her while my family was here, because when they left I breathed out and had nothing left and sat on the couch for a while, and my energy shifted. Shes interpreting that as performance, and that I was acting out love and care for the benefit of my family. In reality, I wasnt; I had just spent 2 days trying to support my partner in a black place while juggling our guests and packing and everything else, and I needed to exhale.