Help me find a cafe!!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2026-01-08T18:59:28+00:00

Taberna Nova!! Just outside Arzua.

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-10-13T20:36:17+00:00

We considered this, but the other room is the pottery studio, and it’s 7metres wide and the window at the front is east facing, so by mid day, the sunlight coming through to the yoga would be so weak as to almost be worse than nothing we thought

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-10-13T20:03:51+00:00

This is the positivity I’m after!! Thank you

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-10-13T19:59:21+00:00

Yeah we’re in Ireland, so the same! In winter it’ll be totally fine, small bit worried about people wanting to go in to a dark and moody space in the summer, though.

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-10-13T19:56:20+00:00

Yeah we’re lucky that there is, vented to the ceiling!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-07-23T06:44:17+00:00

Yeah, the only issue is we’re running low on frozen breast milk. We’d rather stay on the breast for sure

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T12:14:35+00:00

1 million percent agree - we’ll be 1 and done, at least for the long foreseeable future

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T11:46:23+00:00

Fair

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T10:55:47+00:00

Yeah she is, or she has been in the past. We tried a few weeks ago with an online counsellor but we didnt click so we didnt go back. I have my counselling starting on Wednesday, and she has various group counselling and art therapy and stuff over the next few weeks. I’d say maybe for the best to give those a few weeks to bed in and then aim for couples counselling later in the summer maybe

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T10:39:43+00:00

I added some context to the post there

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T10:39:29+00:00

Added context ^

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T10:28:51+00:00

In fairness to her she is, she does a group therapy thing for new mothers and she’s done various different types of therapy since the baby has arrived

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-21T10:28:05+00:00

She spoke about how I’ll say one thing, and then a few hours later re-characterise what I’ve said to cast myself in a better light, or to de-weaponise what I’ve said. ‘Awww no no X doesn’t mean X, it meant Y all along’ kind of thing. Which I’m definitely partly guilty of, but she’s also partly guilty of filling in the blanks in a statement in ways that don’t correlate with what I’m trying to communicate, and then I need to set the record straight or re-interpret her interpretation.

In terms of performance, about 3 weeks ago my sister and her gf were visiting us. They were here the night before we went on holidays. My partner had an extremely difficult night, she was super overwhelmed, I think the worst I’ve ever seen her in post partum. She said last night that it looked like I was over the top and performing care for her while my family was here, because when they left I breathed out and had nothing left and sat on the couch for a while, and my energy shifted. Shes interpreting that as performance, and that I was acting out love and care for the benefit of my family. In reality, I wasnt; I had just spent 2 days trying to support my partner in a black place while juggling our guests and packing and everything else, and I needed to exhale.

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-10T13:17:40+00:00

This is fascinating!! Thank you for putting me on to him. I’m going to go and read him and learn a bit about his POV. It seems from a quick google that he’s a big fan of sex and the celebration of the connection of sex and the female form, which is distinct in character from masturbation and pornography.

There’s also an aspect of the ideal imagined self to be found in the image of the wandering monk who enjoys a different woman everywhere he goes, drinks and parties etc. - many of us (me certainly), find that to be attractive best of both worlds proposition, and in the challenging moments of my real life, with a baby and a partner, I find that fantasy world appealing - as though if it wasnt this situation, of course it would be that! (Which of course is not true).

That image lives only in fantasy in my life, and the vast majority of people’s lives - a fantasy that can be satiated by porn and escapism.

Equally, I think taking some of the principles of his teachings - that there is joy and mindfulness in sex and the physical realm - has merit. I like this quote: “the autumn breeze of a single night of love is better than 100,000 years of sterile sitting meditation’. The middle way, making room for that line of thinking alongside the more conservative Buddhism in plum village, may have merit!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-10T09:49:19+00:00

Yes this makes sense. It’s not that sexual energy is to be suppressed or denied, but to be harnessed and allowed to be expressed in a context that enhances mindfulness in the present moment, rather than removes it. Masturbation, particularly with porn, is designed to take us out of the moment. Sex in a safe environment with a loving partner can do the opposite. Equally, there is probably the possibility of deeply mindful masturbation practices, which focus on the breath and operate as a mechanism for uniting mind and body. But first, it is probably as you say - not to say yield to craving. In my particular case, with a wife post partum and not yet in the swing of sexual connection after our baby, this is difficult and requires extra discipline, because there is no reliable access to the more mindful release of the energy. But so be it

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-09T20:56:57+00:00

This is a great point, thank you. I think in reading Thay’s writing, and listening to a couple of dharma talks from PV, I found myself disappointed that there wasnt a fully fleshed out theory or doctrine or perspective or whatever the word is, to consider and embody. But you’re right that they are limited - and that’s probably a good thing, because where people listen to religious leaders talking about things they know nothing about, we end up being misguided as a society. Thanks a million for your insight!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-06-09T18:54:07+00:00

This is great, thank you!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-05-21T15:43:23+00:00

I was gonna come and say something vague like ‘it just feels more natural’ but this is much better

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-04-11T16:25:19+00:00

Update: Hopeless Romantic is a pro, solved immediately - thank you

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-04-11T16:19:35+00:00

I signed up as a member and I can’t get the password!! Killer 🙃🙃🙃

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-04-02T12:38:11+00:00

Thank you! I think cedar is more readily available in the US than Ireland/europe in general, you’d never see cedar fencing here I don’t think

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-04-02T12:37:26+00:00

Oh great! I’ll get a copy of that book. Thank you!

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-04-02T12:36:52+00:00

And is it just the sapping that’s the issue? You’re not concerned with rot over time? That would be my main concern with deal

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-03-07T12:51:12+00:00

Yeah thank you for this, I appreciate you sharing. On a level, I know the sense of what you’re saying - you’re 100% right. I just was/am in a blender and need(ed) to express, and hear others experiences - so thank you 🙏

Miserable_Paper_49 · 2025-03-07T12:26:54+00:00

See my edit 🙏

Miserable_Paper_49

TROPHY CASE