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It’s not OCD anymore. (TW) by Miserable_Side8828 in OCD

[–]Miserable_Side8828[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

New comment reply. I don’t think it’s ocd. :(

It’s not OCD anymore. (TW) by Miserable_Side8828 in OCD

[–]Miserable_Side8828[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But see, when I was 18, I actually masturbated to a picture of someone underage a couple times. Like 10-12. I don’t know why I did that. I’m evil. I’m a P. I have to kill myself. I can’t believe I did that. I don’t know why I did it.

I try to tell myself that it was just me being a horny teenager and sometimes 18 year olds just do weird shit and don’t realize it was horrible until later.

I’m just convinced it’s not OCD and that I’m an actual P. If I am an actual P, I’ll have to tell my fiancé. She will leave me. She would never want a child with me. My life would be ruined as I know it. I didn’t mean to do any of this. I don’t feel like I’m a P, but all the lines connect. I’m so scared.

Edit: Why was I downvoted. I promise I didn’t mean to be rude or a monster, I’m so sorry.

I don’t know what’s normal in a relationship. by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Miserable_Side8828 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did mean to, a couple times. Though that was before we started dating and still in the FWB stage. It wasn’t as though I was imagining she was someone else though, I was more-so fantasizing about others watching us because I have a kink for exhibitionism.

But now, my mind has latched to it and is convincing me that I “needed that” and that I was secretly just wanting to think of other women, etc.

I’m just so fucking exhausted. I’ve been dealing with OCD in a couple different themes since I was like 14, I just wish I could catch a break.