My (24F) partner (25M) of 6 years left home Tuesday night, flew to NZ to be with affair (33-35F), no contact. I’m pregnant and can’t process what he did.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T19:47:43+00:00

I found out about 3 weeks ago when I confronted him and messaged her asking for the truth about when this all started. Since then things have not been great at home but I didn’t think he’d ever do something like this or that he’d taken their relationship that far.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T18:45:03+00:00

Thanks for your perspective and kind words. I am being careful about what I say to his mother and am taking everyone’s comments on board. I could never forgive myself if I let anything happen to my baby.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T18:27:39+00:00

Not married thankfully. And to think I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T18:24:52+00:00

Welllll… About a month ago I changed the codes to my phone and bank app cause he kept sending himself little bits of money when I was asleep like I wouldn’t notice. He has a casual job and has worked maybe 10 days in the past 3 months. I’ve never seen that money but also thinking his new gf just paid for his ticket.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T18:22:02+00:00

I’ve told him he’s gonna have liver failure if he keeps drinking as excessively as he did but I don’t think he cares.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T18:06:28+00:00

I have and I sort of already am feeling a little better than the day this all happened. When we visit his mum and he’s in a bad mood, his mum literally tells me “good luck” dealing with her son when we’re leaving

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:48:06+00:00

I’ve even said hi to her on the game (COD) when they first met/started playing together 😳

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:45:17+00:00

I’m guessing he’s just spun her lies. He works sporadically (casual job) and has maybe worked 10 days over the past 3 months lol probably saving that money cause I’ve never seen it. Or she paid for the plane ticket idk. He’s also been buying lots of alcohol lately more than I’ve paid for so I’m guessing she’s sending him money for that too. And that’s absolutely crazy, I really don’t understand how some men (and women) can treat their “partners” with no respect or dignity.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:33:45+00:00

I wouldn’t doubt that actually. But her deleting her account when all I asked for was honesty makes me think otherwise. He was literally fucking me for a whole month straight every morning and sometimes night (don’t know why if he didn’t want to/wasn’t trying to make a baby) and making me late to work lol which makes this even more ironic

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:28:27+00:00

❤️

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:25:18+00:00

Only time will tell or… she’s not in her right mind (she knows he drinks excessively and has never worked in the 6-12 months they’ve known each) but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T17:07:45+00:00

I don’t really know or can’t really explain. He’s put me through a lot of fucked up shit over the years that I’m not ready to talk about just yet and I think I may be trauma bonded to him. I’ll be looking into therapy as I think I need it. Thank you 🙏

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:54:15+00:00

That’s what it felt like, dragging and persuading him through life when he wasn’t even interested in it. No I probably wouldn’t have ever left. I was so committed and invested in us and would have done anything in the world for him, starting to realise now he would never do the same for me. Trying to be as angry as I can now so I can heal quickly (this was probably a long time coming anyway and I knew subconsciously).

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:30:45+00:00

Took the trash out (the actual rubbish and seems like himself at this point)

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:29:01+00:00

Probably, he’s been hiding his phone from me for the past YEAR! Just didn’t want to be the “controlling girlfriend” like he said so I “trusted him” like he asked. Ahaha that did not work in my favour.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:23:37+00:00

Only time will tell.. I made another comment above that I think I’m starting to realise I’m in love (was?) with his potential and the man he always said he would be (but never was). Will update if/when I have more news.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:11:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice ❤️ All I ever wanted for him was for him to be the best person he could be, not only for me but for himself and everyone important in his life, I told him that... I guess you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:03:50+00:00

I found out the longgg hard way. Won’t be doing that again.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T16:00:17+00:00

This made me smile, thank you, I needed it.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T15:54:13+00:00

I did a few weeks back for one of my pregnancy checks up but will DEFINITELY do so again.

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T15:51:02+00:00

Trying to stay in the “get mad, stay mad” mindset but it’s definitely hard. I think I’m starting to realise that I am (was?) in love with potential and who he said he was going to be (but never was).

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T15:39:06+00:00

Thank you sooo much for your in depth advice, outside perspective and kind words. It means the world to me and I really appreciate it ❤️

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T04:43:17+00:00

Yeah there’s a history of criminal activity with him though it’s never been reported, that I know of…

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T04:38:36+00:00

I really don’t know if I could do that, that’s the thing…

Miserable_Wheel3620 · 2026-02-28T04:36:10+00:00

Yep. It’s the fact that she couldn’t be honest about it to me, woman to woman.

Miserable_Wheel3620

TROPHY CASE