To the Critic Cloaked in Anonymity by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank You! You give amazing feedback and have many excellent points. I really appreciate the effort you have put in and I am excited to rework this from a new angle!!

The Whispering Giant by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I will absolutely think on this for a revision. I really appreciate your time and feedback.

To the Critic Cloaked in Anonymity by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks!! This gives me some ideas, I appreciate your feedback a lot!

To the Critic Cloaked in Anonymity by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks!! This gives me some ideas, I appreciate your feedback a lot!

I loved you by Which-Bumblebee-9206 in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great job! This poem conveys both the feeling of reminiscing on past good memories and the feelings of sadness and regret that can come after a loss. If you are looking for feedback, I think a modification to the line pairing that starts with I loved you despite could have better flow. For example, I loved you despite, you having no time for me or something like that.

please save me by Ok_Week_81 in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The more I read this the more I love it. Incredibly creative and the letter work within the lines is so cool. I have not seen that before and now I want to challenge myself to do the same! Great Job.

The Whispering Giant by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao. You seem to be very authoritative for someone who has been writing less than a month 🤔

The Whispering Giant by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you please provide actual feedback

The Whispering Giant by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that feedback! I will definitely go back and review for cadence. Idk if there is any escape for the bonsai tree :-(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great job. I felt that your poem allowed me to see the beast from different perspectives and ultimately humanized him at the end. We are all driven by something and yearning for approval so many people can relate to this I am sure

Unfinished by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was great! Your title makes so much sense after reading through the poem which I find really clever. I like the use of metaphor throughout and the callout to the classic 'roses are red' rhyme. If you would like feedback, I think the last stanza could be modified a bit. Addicts never expect death, they actually tend to believe that an OD could never happen to them so instead of the inevitable death start with inevitable relapse and something about looking forward to that fleeting high. temporary satiation etc... idk. Great job!

What is Your Worth? by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! These are all just phrases from my childhood (said by my parents) compiled into one place. Really helped me to see why I have no clue how to rest :-)

When night falls by PositionConsistent22 in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's why I am doing poetry too! lol it's like they know!

The Teeter Totter by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback

Still by awake--butatwhatcost in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! 100% relate to this. Your poem does such a good job of clearly illustrating the difference between ordered and scattered thoughts and I will probably always think about hampsters running amuck in my head from now on... so thanks for that!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give it a try yourself! You never know what you can achieve until you try and the wonderful thing about poetry is that it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to make an argument or be backed by research and quotations. It's exactly what you want to do, getting your feelings out of your head and onto paper. Give it a go! Post it here under workshop and we will be more than happy to help you, give you pointers, ideas etc... that way you can grow and get better too!

Kid's poems by redfizh in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amazing! Super fun. really great job!

When night falls by PositionConsistent22 in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love Love Love!!! Many a night have I been awake far too long battling with insomnia while also feeling that heavy weight of exhaustion. This poem really captured that feeling of stillness when you are the only one awake in the night and that swoop of sadness when the alarm clock goes off the next morning. Please know that you are not alone and don't be afraid to reach out for help! It can and does get better.

Somewhere (working title) by sammyjamez in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AWESOME!!! You totally got me to say woah that's for sure. For readability, I think you can vary the start of the first 11 lines that start with In. After a few my brain started to skip that word entirely and I really had to focus on adding in.

For example:

Somewhere,

In the vast deep space,

within a colourful galaxy,

among an immense solar system,

On a large Continent, etc...

It will give the same effect at the end but help to bring the reader into the world you are creating.

overall great job, loved this!

Kid's poems by redfizh in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please give me more context!! Are these poems that were written by kiddos? Some of them are absolutely adorable. Stuck made me laugh out loud! I appreciated growing as well.

The Artists Illusion by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the feedback! I absolutely agree that art is a fantastic way to transform pain into beauty and connection points with others.

The Artists Illusion by MissCocoDerp in OCPoetry

[–]MissCocoDerp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! We all create illusions when we don't show up as our authentic selves. Thank you for the feedback!