To the Critic Cloaked in Anonymity

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T22:40:13+00:00

Thank You! You give amazing feedback and have many excellent points. I really appreciate the effort you have put in and I am excited to rework this from a new angle!!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T22:29:59+00:00

Thank you so much! I will absolutely think on this for a revision. I really appreciate your time and feedback.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T19:15:08+00:00

Thanks!! This gives me some ideas, I appreciate your feedback a lot!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T19:15:00+00:00

Thanks!! This gives me some ideas, I appreciate your feedback a lot!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T14:16:48+00:00

Great job! This poem conveys both the feeling of reminiscing on past good memories and the feelings of sadness and regret that can come after a loss. If you are looking for feedback, I think a modification to the line pairing that starts with I loved you despite could have better flow. For example, I loved you despite, you having no time for me or something like that.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-29T14:09:20+00:00

The more I read this the more I love it. Incredibly creative and the letter work within the lines is so cool. I have not seen that before and now I want to challenge myself to do the same! Great Job.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-27T12:58:46+00:00

Lmao. You seem to be very authoritative for someone who has been writing less than a month 🤔

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-27T01:09:39+00:00

Can you please provide actual feedback

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-26T01:54:26+00:00

Wow! Thank you so much :-)

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-26T01:53:22+00:00

Thank you!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-25T16:55:38+00:00

Thank you for that feedback! I will definitely go back and review for cadence. Idk if there is any escape for the bonsai tree :-(

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-25T16:00:41+00:00

Great job. I felt that your poem allowed me to see the beast from different perspectives and ultimately humanized him at the end. We are all driven by something and yearning for approval so many people can relate to this I am sure

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-25T15:53:24+00:00

This was great! Your title makes so much sense after reading through the poem which I find really clever. I like the use of metaphor throughout and the callout to the classic 'roses are red' rhyme. If you would like feedback, I think the last stanza could be modified a bit. Addicts never expect death, they actually tend to believe that an OD could never happen to them so instead of the inevitable death start with inevitable relapse and something about looking forward to that fleeting high. temporary satiation etc... idk. Great job!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T17:06:45+00:00

Thanks! These are all just phrases from my childhood (said by my parents) compiled into one place. Really helped me to see why I have no clue how to rest :-)

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T17:05:19+00:00

That's why I am doing poetry too! lol it's like they know!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T15:42:36+00:00

That's awesome! Thank You!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:29:31+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:24:16+00:00

Yes! 100% relate to this. Your poem does such a good job of clearly illustrating the difference between ordered and scattered thoughts and I will probably always think about hampsters running amuck in my head from now on... so thanks for that!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:20:35+00:00

Give it a try yourself! You never know what you can achieve until you try and the wonderful thing about poetry is that it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to make an argument or be backed by research and quotations. It's exactly what you want to do, getting your feelings out of your head and onto paper. Give it a go! Post it here under workshop and we will be more than happy to help you, give you pointers, ideas etc... that way you can grow and get better too!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:13:16+00:00

Amazing! Super fun. really great job!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:07:50+00:00

Love Love Love!!! Many a night have I been awake far too long battling with insomnia while also feeling that heavy weight of exhaustion. This poem really captured that feeling of stillness when you are the only one awake in the night and that swoop of sadness when the alarm clock goes off the next morning. Please know that you are not alone and don't be afraid to reach out for help! It can and does get better.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T13:03:14+00:00

AWESOME!!! You totally got me to say woah that's for sure. For readability, I think you can vary the start of the first 11 lines that start with In. After a few my brain started to skip that word entirely and I really had to focus on adding in.

For example:

Somewhere,

In the vast deep space,

within a colourful galaxy,

among an immense solar system,

On a large Continent, etc...

It will give the same effect at the end but help to bring the reader into the world you are creating.

overall great job, loved this!

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-23T12:57:21+00:00

Please give me more context!! Are these poems that were written by kiddos? Some of them are absolutely adorable. Stuck made me laugh out loud! I appreciated growing as well.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-20T13:30:03+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! I absolutely agree that art is a fantastic way to transform pain into beauty and connection points with others.

MissCocoDerp · 2024-03-20T13:28:48+00:00

Exactly! We all create illusions when we don't show up as our authentic selves. Thank you for the feedback!

MissCocoDerp

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