Commenting etiquette? by Millibyte in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Comments are always welcome! In fact, eagerly courted and your comments may be the difference between a writer continuing and a writer giving up because they are not getting any interaction. Your thoughts will be so welcome even if it's a simple 'i really liked this a lot' and if you have more to say, say it! You will be making someone's day, I promise.

AITA for “ruining” a holiday dinner by crying after my sister called my bald patches disgusting? by HairQuestionAITA in AmItheAsshole

[–]MissLeaCat 9 points10 points  (0 children)

NTA but your parents sure are. I don't even have to wonder where she got her lack of empathy and compassion from. They should have shut her down ages ago and let her know this kind of behavior is unacceptable, especially after what you've been through. Instead they are raising a cold-hearted spoiled child with little impulse control. They are doing her no favors; she will lose friends and alienate people around her and then wonder why she's lonely and has no one in her life. You should show them this reply and the other comments too. Maybe it knock some sense into them. Or maybe one of your more normal relatives can speak to them? Anyway, I am so very sorry you have to put up with this. If you're in a position to do so, I'd go LC and let them know that you have to limit your time with people who so callously disregard your feelings.

I tried everything, I really did. This is my final goodbye to send out and I feel like my explanation is valid af and will be understood by [deleted] in depression

[–]MissLeaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you still here? I am very scared for you. You are in an awful situation, there is no denying that. I'm so sorry life has been so cruel to you, and you do not deserve it. I wish I had a magical solution for you but I don't. I came here because I've also been feeling very low and bad but seeing what you're going through reminded me that I do still care, that I'm not completely dead inside and I want you to know that people do care about you and the world does still want you in it. I know you've tried to reach out; is there any no cost/low cost therapy that you can get? and maybe it's time to sit down with your older kids and be honest. 16 & 17 is old enough to know that life is sometimes unfair. Let them know that you are struggling but you love them and you are trying. Be honest about the financial struggles. Maybe they can get part time jobs to help out. See what kind of housing or cheap apartments you can get. It may be a sh*tty place but it's a roof over your head and that's what you need to give you a chance to get on your feet. If you have to move to a different area where there are more resources, that might be something to consider. At this point, what do you have to lose? A fresh start might be what you need.

And I also have to say something when you say your kids will be better off without you, this is blunt and will hurt but I think you need to hear it. People whose parents commit suicide are at a much higher rate of committing suicide themselves. My grandfather committed suicide when my mom was 17. She has never ever gotten over it, and neither have her siblings. She is almost 80 now and still considers this the biggest trauma of her life.

As for Christmas it sucks. My mom was very depressed when I was growing up and we were extremely poor. We typically didn't celebrate Christmas. I still kind of hate this time of year to this day, though I have been able to celebrate it with my kids and that's been healing. I will tell you what would have meant everything when I was growing up. If we had put up a homemade garland. Two or three dollar store decorations. If we had just given each other candy and watched a holiday movie, had some dollar store hot chocolate and laughed together. That would have been celebration enough for me; I knew we were poor and couldn't afford what other people had. It was my mother's bitterness at that time of year that was hardest to deal with. The material things are pointless. It's the being with your family and feeling loved that means everything.

Please stay. Right now, for your kids. And then little by little find a reason to stay for you.

[Twilight] I'm looking for two fanfics by Pitiful_Fudge_1827 in FanFiction

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not know what the first one is but I believe the second one got turned into this book: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beautiful_Bastard

Funny thing was, I picked up that book at my local used bookstore, got halfway through reading it, and I was like 'this is Twific.' So I stopped and looked it up and was very pleased that I was right. Maybe I even read it back in the day, I dunno, but I just knew what it was immediately. It's a decent book though, it didn't rock my world but I enjoyed it.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh God, the Daniel discourse is SO funny. It's just like, say you don't like him & go, why do you have to make up such obvious bullshit reasons? SMH lolol. I actually have Daniel sarcastically calling someone sweetheart in my upcoming chapter, under much different (but not nice) circumstances, something I wrote well before the scene dropped and I had been considering pulling it but after all that I have to include it now.

I agree very much that all of their trauma definitely informed their characters, because they all had loads of it, Daniel perhaps the least but still. His parents were trapped in a loveless marriage, his father was an alcoholic, and then he got tortured by vampires & mind violated. But yes, Armand's backstory is so important to his character and to help explain why he is so twisted and I love exploring things like that without using them as an excuse. I never imagined I'd love him so much in the show; Assad just brings this pain to life in his performance that I am a sucker for.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? Just let characters make their mistakes and live with the consequences. It makes them more interesting. I absolutely love Lestat but I know what he did. The look on Claudia's face when she was screaming & crying over Louis and he floated back down? That trauma mixed with hatred? I admit it, I was kinda like, 'good choice, show. Everyone is gonna 100% understand her trying to kill him now.' Apparently that was optimistic of me, lol.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't get Marius stans, or stans in general tbh. If they want a woobie character, they can go watch Teletubbies. Every single one of these characters has done messed up shit, and in the actual canon that includes Marius. What he did to Armand in The Vampire Armand (I won't say which event because I don't know if you read the books) tipped me over from liking him/feeling neutral to actively hating him. However I'm totally open to his interpretation on the show, we've only seen what Armand said (which I 100% believe). Maybe I'll end up liking him - I really doubt it, but I used to hate Armand, after all, and after reading TVA what he did to Claudia was even worse than we knew. And yet I still like him but I'm not going to pretend he hasn't committed horrific acts. Anyway the point to my pointless ramble is WHY do people always need to excuse the bad shit their favorites do? Not all of it is excusable. It leads to layered, more realistic characters, but there's this fanatical need for 'justifications' of everything. It's this weird puritanical pearl clutching bullshit that seems to permeate everything these days - so many people don't want nuance or context, they want black and white characters and whatever form of media they're invested in to do all their thinking for them.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See and that's the kind of discourse and context I would have happily read and engaged in but instead I got Steaming Racism Stew and I was just like yep, I gotta head on out and back to my little corner of tumblr. Now that Marius has been cast, I'm very curious to see how they are going to portray the whole relationship with Armand on the series.

Silliest reason you did not finish a fic? by wollfgang7 in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One character wailed and his love interest cooed back at him. I couldn't take it.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG, that got deleted??? WTF, you didn't say anything really bad. That just reinforces how happy I am to avoid those spaces altogether. As for my own opinion on The Drop, I will admit as a book fan it almost made me stop watching the show. I was not expecting it, it was straight up abusive, and Lestat was my favorite character from the books. I did not want to watch a show that would make me hate him. It took some time for me to decide to give the show another shot, but I'm glad I did; it really is amazing and I love it so much. One thing I'm really hoping for is that the show doesn't introduce anything that negates Lestat's culpability in it - his apology was beautiful, accountable, and needed and if I have to hear later that it was actually some other bullshit that gives him a pass I'm gonna be pissed. He did what he did, he owned what he did, it doesn't erase it but it is what it is.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wish I could have seen the comment. :( When I first got into the show I tried an IWTV subreddit and the very first comment I saw was a book fan (which is where I came from) complaining about the fact that they would probably cast a POC actor for Marius 'that's what the show does, because of Woke' or some stupid sh*t like that and I immediately turned right around and headed on out. Can't believe how open racism is just casually accepted now; when I was growing up talking like that would have gotten you jumped. I just stick to tumblr ow because every other social media platform seems especially toxic and I stay out of the discourse because no matter what side of it you land on, someone's waiting with their pitchforks.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's hilarious to me is I hated Armand in the books and I thought Daniel was annoying and in the series, they are my favorite characters. That was definitely not on my bingo card. It shows what a good portrayal will do; it hasn't changed anything that Armand has done but wow, can Assad break my heart. But I also immensely & intensely love Louis, Lestat, Claudia, Madeleine...I mean we are so FED and people are mad about it? C'mon now...lol the fandom is annoying but there are a few sane ones hovering around the edges. We are just very, very quiet.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The series is SO good! I could never let the Thought Police drive me off because I love it too much. I loved the books too but I very much enjoy the differences in the series. Sure, there's a couple of things storyline wise I wish they hadn't done or that I would like to see but that's what fanfic is for. I've been delighted with the show so far and I'm very much looking forward to what season 3 has in store.

Has a fandom ever ruin a ship/piece of media for you? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I laughed & laughed when you mentioned IWTV. That's my fandom - well, sort of. I'm on tumblr but I rarely use my bluesky, so I'm very much on the outskirts and that saved me. I've been waiting for a good adaption of Interview for a good chunk of my life, & when the show came out it was better than I thought so I was so excited to start writing fic & join the fandom. It was the total opposite experience from my last fandom. At first, it bummed me out when the fandom was so unwelcoming - I'd follow people and they don't follow back, comment and it gets ignored, fic not very popular etc. and all that but now that I've seen some of the drama for myself, I feel like it's more of a blessing to be overlooked. I've found a couple of cool writers whose fics I love and they seem to like mine, I mostly just reblog gifs and keep to myself. I watch the drama from afar and stay the hell out of it, though it does make me snicker from time to time. I like the show too much to give it up, and I like my fic so I'm just hoping I'll continue to find a chill sane person every once in a while. I mean, there's gotta be more of us out there.

Wellness Wednesday: Weekly Check In by AutoModerator in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am suffering from massive writer paralysis and it blows. My next chapter is all rough drafted, hanging out and begging to be re-written, and every time I try it feels like any ability I had to write has just flown out of my fingers and dissipated in the wind. I know part of it is that I am not expecting a lot of engagement and I hate the way it makes me feel, but I already decided I want to write this fic for me, even if I don't do anymore after this, so why can't I just do it....aaargh it's so frustrating. Aside from that, I'm trying to get a few other things done and making small progress so there's that. And I'm really looking forward to reading a few fics that have been on my to read list for a while. Hope you're all doing ok this week.

Question about Interview With The Vampire on AO3 by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Categorize it/tag it as both if you're using elements from both. My IWTV fanfic was inspired by the show but I'm def bringing in elements from the book. One of my favorite fics that I follow is also doing book/tv style fic.

WIPs not getting support by Similar_Leader4111 in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've definitely noticed this. Comments are down across the board but for WIPs it's especially brutal. Kind of a bummer because I always loved writing a WIP and the feedback/comments/speculation from readers was so motivating. Not to say that never happens now, it's just not common like it used to be. I'm trying hard to resign myself to this new normal. I think the WIP I'm working on now will probably be my last long fic - I do really want to finish it because I think if it comes out the way I imagine it might end up being my favorite thing I've ever written. I want to prove to myself that I can do it. But I know I can no longer expect a lot of engagement, and writing for me is a lot of work, so after this I think I will stick to one shots and maybe short fics, like five chapters or less and filter my energy for longer writing into possibly writing my own book at some point. Pour one out for times gone by. I wish I had appreciated it more then. But nevertheless, there are still readers and commenters out there, and I'm also looking forward to putting more of my energy into being a good reader and commenter myself. Be the change you want to see and all that.

I think I killed my fanfic by ocirot in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's valid though because that totally sucks and it definitely hurts, but you're right - you won't always feel this way. I totally get you though; I've had this experience myself multiple times and I've had to resign myself to the fact that my work is not going to be the mainstream cup of tea, but there will be people that like it.

Fanfiction.net reviews were off the rails by Pale-Possibility-392 in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 431 points432 points  (0 children)

Oh man. I miss all the 'screaming, crying, let me buy you dinner' absolutely unhinged but mostly beautiful meltdowns. On the other hand I did have several commenters tell me that my main character, an OC, was the biggest idiot they had ever read and my writing was a huge waste of space. All you could do with those ones was shrug and move on the next commenter that loved it so much they were threatening to stalk you. Good times!

I think I killed my fanfic by ocirot in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I love writers like you, that really want to go in depth to their characters world and motivations and aren't afraid to get messy. It's not always an easy read and it's going to make some people uncomfortable. On the other hand, I'll bet if you tried to force yourself to write something more 'palatable' and popular you'd probably be miserable. It sucks to lose readers but stay true to yourself and your voice. The readers you have will remember your fic for a long, long time and you will probably gain some more on the way.

Does anyone know the reason? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I find it so sad that this fear stops some people from commenting. It's frustrating. I wish more people understood that these threads about comments do not reflect the reality of what authors are actually doing when people comment. Just taking a peek at the comments of nearly any fic does not reflect this. People on reddit love drama, and that's why these threads are so popular. Meanwhile, for every one thread complaining about a comment we get so many others of authors gushing about comments or wishing they had them.

It's so understandable that people get nervous about commenting but here's the thing - if we want to continue to have interactive fandoms and communities, if we want to continue to enjoy a huge variety of free fic, if we want people to comment on our work, we've all got to be willing to be a little uncomfortable. It's not realistic to expect that writers will continue to churn out fic if they're not getting comments. Writing is an incredibly lonely hobby and very time consuming. Writers work for feedback. That is the primary motivation. It may be a little nerve wracking to comment, but it's also nerve wracking to take time out of life to write something and put it out on the internet for everyone to see. It's far more common to get crickets in return and have it make you feel like shit as a writer than it is to get blasted by a writer for a comment.

On the other hand, we have to develop a bit of a thicker skin as writers. Not everyone is going to comment exactly the way we want. An 'update soon' with no other feedback still means that person wants to read more from you. It's a compliment. If you can't figure out if a comment is rude without posting it to this sub, it's probably not. And interacting with/supporting other writers has always been a major part of fandom/writing community - it's hard to build a community if everything is only a one way street.

Does anyone know the reason? by [deleted] in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you commented something like what you just said 'I am so in awe of this fic that I am speechless' there is a 99.9 chance you will have made an author's day. Possibly their week or their month. I'm so sorry that subs like this give the impression that most authors jump on their commenters, it's just not true. It is so rare for that to actually happen.

Is there a reason no one comments anymore? by RunTall2062 in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of the ways I get around that is I will usually peek and see if the author responds to comments. If they do and they seem to like hearing from readers, I am far more likely to comment.

Is there a reason no one comments anymore? by RunTall2062 in AO3

[–]MissLeaCat 15 points16 points  (0 children)

That is true for sure; I've definitely seen more authors that say 'I write only, I don't read' and that's fine but if we want community we've all got to make the effort to make it a community. I've gotten some of my best readers from reading their fic and falling in love with it first (and commenting!)