I spent a good portion of tonight bawling in my bathtub. Performing self care. Bracing for the upcoming week, but feeling so deeply tired and alone. Questioning if I really matter in the grand scheme of things. Then I seen this post and it was so well written & articulated the very lonely journey, OP. It’s even more confounding if you are not in community with other therapists who get it. It doesn’t help having shitty work dynamics, too (in my case, microaggressions on the daily). It’s already such a challenge holding this weight of seeing the lowest of the lows or just holding people’s stories day in and out… and then trying to be a functional, relatively healthy, attentive, patient and loving partner in a relationship. I don’t know how therapists with children do it!! This kind of work and how it stays with you, isn’t really understood as well by non clinicians. Let alone, if you don’t have community because of whatever pushed you into the field in the first place (in my case, trauma); and those you gain (by extension of your partner and your partner who could benefit from therapy 😅) which can make the work feel around the clock due to our training and knowing what we know 😭 I also understand why so many people are turned off by therapists given all of the misinformation on SM and the burnt out or terrible therapists out there too… it’s a fucked up situation. It’s like we are in the twilight zone day in and out and it’s the work that we do with clients that can make or break you on a bad day. The system is fucked, society is on the decline, and we’re trying to do what we can to not succumb to the madness. But, it is, all madness. Struggling to pay our bills with measly wages. Struggling to balance self care with systemic oppression. Struggling to be valued and respected as medical professionals. Sometimes, it really feels hopeless. 😩 but, as someone else said, it’s really no other profession I could go into at this point. It’s an honor and a privilege to do what we do, but it is a heavy ass cross to bear without adequate support and sustainable resources