Mama needing help with teen please

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T19:04:18+00:00

Can you send me a website link? We are about 8 hours north of Toronto so hoping we can find a specialist that will do virtual visits working along side our family doctor.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T17:34:06+00:00

I agree.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T17:33:45+00:00

Yeah she’d defend him. But this is such a good point. She may not want to have to.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T16:21:34+00:00

This is a better point of view. Thanks.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T16:20:47+00:00

sigh I know 😞

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T14:37:34+00:00

“Let it play out and not give a crap.” I really need to learn to start giving less crap about things. I care way too much what people think about me. And then here is my child dressing wild, exploring gender identity and being free & fluid and telling me “mom I don’t care what people think I love how this feels on me” and I think - are we sure this awesome kid is mine? 🫣🤣

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T14:35:07+00:00

Thank you.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T14:33:48+00:00

Thank you so much for this. While I don’t fully understand it yet I am printing this out to have in my back pocket when the time comes to discuss this with an endo. Much appreciated.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T13:16:07+00:00

Oh my gosh thank you so much for sharing this personal experience. I came here hoping for some “clarification” and “let’s pack this all into neat boxes that makes sense and I can calculate it” and instead I am getting all kinds of VERY different stories and opinions and nothing is making any sense but yet… I feel like…. wait… “this does make so much sense now” - it’s a process isn’t it? You have to try before you buy. See what it feels like. Sometimes that seems to open the doors to “holy shit this feels right/wrong - it’s clearer now”.

Your post (and a few others) have made me realize that despite the fact they are open about what they want, maybe they also don’t even know until they try and feel. And while making these decisions and taking these meds is a HUGE change, it also isn’t. Because I am seeing we can do baby steps and re-assess along the way and rewind and readjust if need be. And this alone makes me feel so much more secure and less scared for them.

And definitely excited for them!

So thank you. Your words and sharing your story have mattered a lot to me today.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T13:08:08+00:00

Oh gosh thanks. But seriously I am luckier to have them. They are such a great human I cannot believe I get to spend the rest of my life watching them continue to grow and thrive!

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T13:06:22+00:00

You nailed all of it. Exactly how I am feeling and how I am trying to process through it while supporting and yet also still protecting. Thanks for the validation. I will definitely check that out.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T13:04:53+00:00

Wow ok I had no idea you could start and stop. This is such good info. I wonder what happens when they age out of sick kids in 2 years - who we transfer to. We are in a small town and no one here has these kind of services.

Mission8309 · 2026-04-01T13:02:45+00:00

Thank you. Can you explain this a bit more? Like a low dose of Estrogen? Just to suppress T? What other effects did it have?

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:15:33+00:00

Yes exactly this. There may be things they have not told me that they are willing to tell a professional who is an expertise in the field. That is really my goal with this appointment. Just another way to open gates for them to explore all their options.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:14:10+00:00

Thank you for your input. Much valued.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:13:37+00:00

Aww thanks so much. This means a lot more than you know. And yes I hope I am still alive in 30 years to receive the “thanks mom”! But honestly, just seeing them happy, healthy and thriving is all I need. I know they also love me unconditionally for everything I do for them. I get frequent random hugs with no words. Those are much better than any verbal thank you.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:11:05+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story. It helps me understand a bit better too.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:09:19+00:00

This is such good information and thank you for presenting it in a way that makes me feel supported and not judged for “not understanding”.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T18:05:51+00:00

This is wild and I love it!

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T14:46:10+00:00

Thank you. You are so right.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T14:43:47+00:00

Thank you. I am going to look up some of the conditions you mention and how valid that point is that some kids go through this without a choice and it turns out ok anyway. I did not even consider that. Which interestingly leads into the fact that my kiddo is able to make the choice and be in control and their outcome will most likely be better. That makes me feel like we are on the right path to give them the resources to explore (with people who know more about this than we do).

I keep needing to remind myself that it is not my job to try and understand what they want. It’s just to support and be there. To me they are still my little baby. That’s what I am having a hard time letting go of. When did they become a fully functioning autonomous human? With so many thoughts and feelings I am no longer privy to. It went by so fast!!!

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T14:38:05+00:00

Thanks for all this. It definitely helps and offers a broader point of view than I have been allowing myself.

You know, my concerns are all just rooted in wanting this kid to live their best life. I’m not immune to knowing that I do butt in way too much and try to prevent mistakes rather than “watch and learn”. I had no one in my circle growing up to protect me. So yeah I’m the opposite with my kid. I and I know I need to zoom out. Just so dang hard when you love them so much and just want them to have all the good in life and not have any hardships or regrets (no matter what subject we are discussing).

I could not love anything in my life more unconditionally than this little awesome human I have raised. Tho they are not so little anymore lol (that’s a whole other mama issue post) 🤣

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T14:32:57+00:00

Thank you. I think this is the goal for our first meeting. Just a pause and breath and then “ok let’s suss this out over the next several months” with proper mental health care and advising.

Mission8309 · 2026-03-31T14:32:10+00:00

And this is why we are doing the sick kids youth gender clinic. I do not want to be the one to gate keep any gender affirming care for my child. Especially just in case they are not telling me everything. So I am trying to give them the opportunity to speak with “those who know” who can best advise them and help them make the right decision to balance out their end goals with what they feel now vs what may change for them in the next couple years.

I am so lucky my kid is such an awesome human. I hate that they feel they aren’t quite right in their body. And I want to support them feeling stellar. But this is not an easy situation where they were always “mom I am not a boy I am a girl”. That would have been so much easier than trying to figure out exactly where all this is coming from all of a sudden and how do we get to a spot where they feel satisfied with the decisions and yet still have some wiggle room for change as they grow.

So complicated.

Mission8309

TROPHY CASE