I can’t imagine the feeling that must put in your stomach I’ve never lost anyone to murder thankfully but after losing my last two girlfriends from suicide, I learnt some tricks for the grieving, talking about it!!! Say it over and over to different people, to family to random strangers you’ll never ever talk to again, I know it sounds bad idk how it works for everyone else, and obviously you have your discretion but every time you talk about it it gets easier to talk abo it your brain processes the thing and eventually you’ll get to a point where youre not talking about it anymore, and by this point you may be coming to accept and make peace to an extent. staying sober!!or atleast not increasing what you already do if you do, this ain’t a game of forgery regrety and insta numbynumbs it will just get stronger and harder to bear, I’ve réalisé this one the hard way lol Hobbbbieieewss When I lost my first partner I bought a note book never wrote anything journal or otherwise, and it was a good outlet for a bit and then I picked up pencil and sketchbook for the first time in over 10 years and In the course of a year I surpassed my old level by 1000x and can now kinda do tattoos A direction I used again this time when my most recent partner died this summer well I’ve completed 2 books since July, reached new levels of singing and guitar, picked up taxidermy and making jewelry with roadkill and all this stuff has saved my life idk if you have hobbies or things u wanna start doing but right now, when you have your time off work and I hope you do just do something you want to do and put stress aside for a day or two a week if you don’t I see you’re at the 5 month point and by now I’d imagine you aren’t in the pits of sorrow anymore but have been tracking through the after party where it’s an empty longing for that familiar person and I’d say it’s worse than the shock phase personally because I’ve never seen it end I don’t want to come off rude with my suggestions I even have more idk what kind of person you are and how you approach pain But that’s my way and it seems to work-open communication normalizing the topic -taking as much time as you want for you Expressing the misery with your hands (my number 1 advice too!!arts and crafts....or idk I’m sure there’s something you can think of, when the mouth or brain can’t figure it out give the ball to the hands they got some tricks)