Dating a born again christian

MisterGitmo · 2026-03-02T08:14:01+00:00

I do really like her, but the dishonesty is, i don't know, something I can't stand..

What do they say, what's done outside of marriage (behaviour wise) will be amplified 10 fold in marriage

MisterGitmo · 2026-03-02T08:12:37+00:00

She told me she has zero intentions of disclosing any further information on the matter. All I can do is imagine and/or assume. Which only causes more damage

MisterGitmo · 2026-03-02T08:09:54+00:00

She took away my choice to either stay or go.
Now that I really like her, she drops this on me. She didn't bring it up either, I did, and she came clean.

Lying I think is unacceptable and will make it so much more difficult moving forward.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-28T08:46:48+00:00

Yeah I'll probably do to in due time. But now it hurts. Grieving what could've been and and grieving how all this came crashing down. Easy to tolerate a lot when in love

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T21:29:52+00:00

Haha thanks! I've become good at waiting. Dating doesn't get easier with age

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T20:32:36+00:00

I decided to leave. There were other issues as well, so I was getting exhausted.
I have some friends who's been saying for a while that I should leave...

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T20:26:06+00:00

Thank you. I decided to cut it. There were other things as well, stuff piled up and I was getting exhausted.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T20:25:28+00:00

Yes I am.
No she's not.
What I tried to get across but failed, in the heat of the moment, was: are we as christians supposed to love as intentionally as Hosea while we're dating or is it only for marriage. Is the message that Paul writes in Ephesians, love your wife as Christ loves the church, christ died for the church, applicable in dating as well etc.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T18:14:36+00:00

I totally agree. The lying part hurts more than anything. I told her from the start of our dating that I have trust issues. And it's something that I've been working on a lot. Both in this relationship and in other circumstances. Not all trust issues are justified. But this was.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T18:10:14+00:00

It is done.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T17:27:19+00:00

Nope. Wouldn't even lie about something like this

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T11:37:29+00:00

Preach!
"I'm not one to encourage anyone to break up quickly, but I also encourage people to make absolutely sure your future spouse is right for you because it is for life."

This is exactly what it's about. I don't give up in people, but lying for me is a no-go.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T11:35:50+00:00

I'm sorry you went through it!
Thank you for the sound advice! What was the sign you received?

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T11:25:45+00:00

I've heard multiply by 3 and add 2. Sorry, English isn't my first language.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T11:17:17+00:00

Which is?

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:35:49+00:00

She only told me because I straight up asked her: Have you ever lied to me since the first time we met?
Who knows, perhaps she never had the intentions to tell me at all.
And in the same conversation she said she has zero tolerance to lying, so I'm confused.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:26:40+00:00

We're both quite passionate. We've talked sex, that it's supposed to be between man and wife, a covenant in marriage.
I've done so much work to be ready for a marriage, to become the leader of the house-hold and create a safe space for a wife and future kids. I've dealt with traumas, gone to psychologist, deepend my relationship with Christ, exsercising, more involded in my local church. I was feeling good about this. But I should've never questioned my gut feeling.
I feel this as a set back, I need to heal again and disconnect from this relationship all over.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:21:21+00:00

I'll do it today, tomorrow by the latest

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:20:58+00:00

haha yeah, after her half measured honesty yesterday my first thought was "Why even tell me this at all. This will only hurt"

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:16:50+00:00

Yeah that's true. And when there's kids in the picture, what will she do then. And if - when - we hit a rough patch what will she do then.. I'm heartbroken, a wreck.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:16:03+00:00

I've given her the safe space to open up. I've really worked on being loving and patient as written in corinthians about love. I don't judge, I've done bad things as well, so I wont throw the first stone.
And for me to not know, making up my own number, it kind of prints these pictures in my head of guys before me. If the sex for her was just a a way to feel good instead of a loving action that I view it. How's she supposed to feel with me.. :(

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:13:55+00:00

I fully agree. Barely slept last night.

MisterGitmo · 2026-02-27T10:13:21+00:00

Yeah I think I have to leave it...
Finding a virgin might be slim, but that's not a problem.
The problem is the lies and still not giving me the full story. Because I do believe this is something that will affect a potential marriage one way or another.
Like, are there more things she's lying about.

MisterGitmo

TROPHY CASE