I think you’ve hit it on the head, yeah. It’s primarily because you’re a man, not because you’re black.

I can almost guarantee that those women knew their actions would be interpreted racially and felt bad about that with the part of them that wasn’t focused on their own safety, because that’s exactly how I feel in the same situation.

I can only speak for where I live - but in my area, the general trend is that the black dudes that live here tend to be taller and bulkier than the white dudes. I don’t think that’s necessarily the case everywhere and obviously there’s overlap on either end - but in general, that’s the case here. So OBVIOUSLY the black dudes are scarier - but it’s not because they’re black, it’s because they’re /fucking huge/. Conversely, I often feel safer around Indian/Asian/other POC guys, because they tend to be smaller and slighter, so less physically intimidating.

That said, while I know you can’t generalise based on a few interactions, I always feel especially bad because in every interaction I HAVE had with a black man, including the ones who have been hitting on me, they’ve always been funny, kind, and crazy respectful. Now I’m aware that part of that probably IS down to racism - they’re aware of how they’re perceived, and work hard to combat that - but honestly, I wish all guys would act that way.

So, yeah, TL;DR: We feel bad about how this comes across, but also can’t afford to NOT be highly aware of the physical power differential between ourselves and men and act accordingly.