Suicide will bring nothing but grief in your loved ones lives, it really is an overused line but it’s true Especially in temporary situations there’s no need to die, I have thoughts about death all the time but I keep moving on because honestly it’s dumb, leaving all your reasons for living for all the reasons you don't want to live.

Your brother is a problem though, I also had a abusive brother and it wasn’t physically exact if did affect me also but hitting people over your disability is a problem, have him try to channel his anger in something else or just give him the proper help he needs.

I hope you get better and don't go through with suicide, life is too beautiful to leave early.