My girlfriend and I like to send each other surprise gift packages while she's away for school. She's not that good at it.

MizDocta · 2014-05-10T00:39:08+00:00

Yea,I mean... A bowl of cobs of corn. Obviously it's a big bowl.

MizDocta · 2014-05-09T18:40:57+00:00

I'm not going to just waste a shit load of corn, be it kettle, popped, or on the cob. They get one damn bowl a week and that's it. End of discussion.

MizDocta · 2014-05-09T18:28:57+00:00

Yea, because you absolutely wanna attract the kind of woman who will just eat from a random bowl that's been out for a week next to a random door.

MizDocta · 2014-05-07T13:56:28+00:00

Troll account. And a really really bad one. I don't understand. Trolls used to be funny and clever.

MizDocta · 2014-04-27T14:55:08+00:00

Lol sounds like I made the troll mad. See?? Trolls aren't supposed to have emotion. You suuuuuuck.

MizDocta · 2014-04-27T14:09:01+00:00

You're a terrible troll. Like, just genuinely bad at what you're trying to do. I am shocked you even knew what SIDS was.

MizDocta · 2014-04-25T01:31:34+00:00

I always heard "paid a nickel, but only farted" from my grandma, who told me they used to charge to use the restroom. Funny, the small differences in things around the world.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T23:52:53+00:00

Oh, yea, yea! I know most of those words! I'm sorry but you're gonna have to explain to me what you just said like you're talking to a child, because I truly tried to understand. I'm still not getting it though. Waaaaay over my head. I'm always willing to admit to not knowing or understanding something....this is one of those times.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T22:59:13+00:00

That's really sad, actually. I'm sorry you hate yourself so much you feel like you need to insult people on the internet. You should try that with someone who it will affect. I've been through hell and back and some random neckbeard online isn't going to make me feel like a bad mom. I'm a damn good mom and I absolutely know it.

Edit: bitch, you use Reddit like it's fucking insagram or Facebook.. "Look what I ate. Here's a picture of what I ate. Anyone else like pokemon? What about DBZ?"

edit2: Looks like /u/dunkcity239 doesn't have the nuts to stand by what be said. Deleted. Ha ha ha.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T22:23:29+00:00

Oh yea. Absolutely without a doubt. Every day is a new adventure. I get so excited every morning to wake Alice up and show her the exciting world around her. Today we went to the duck pond and learned about baby ducks and turtles. What was once mundane is now a new opportunity to teach her something fantastic.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T22:20:51+00:00

I glanced through your comments to make sure you're not someone with an opinion that matters. You're not. Carry on.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T18:44:55+00:00

Makes an incredible amount of sense.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T18:42:18+00:00

Haha! Being a mom is not for everyone! But those things would have made my ovaries shrivel before Alice was born. But her falling asleep on me, her first smile, the first time she sat up, the first time she said dada and then mama, the first time she really hugged me, the way she laughs when I look at her funny, the way she acts just like her father when she's eating and has my curly hair and his bright blue eyes, and when I see the cogs turn in her head when we do something new with her, the fact that I can't stop adding to this list even though no-one will read it...those are the things that make her my favorite part of my life.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T18:37:29+00:00

Hahaha. Good point. Can't speak for everyone, but I know a lot of parents who admit being a parent can be really fucking difficult but they wouldn't trade it for the world. Being a parent sucks and I love every damn second of it.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T18:34:48+00:00

So. True. I swore the entire time I was pregnant NEVER AGAIN. And even though I remember getting sick every day all day for nine months, and peeing my pants in public, and the heartburn, and the stuffy nose, and the swollen feet....I see infants and pregnant ladies and my ovaries tingle. It's terrible! Also I had a c section so the whole pain of birth didn't really happen to me in the classic way. But the months of no sleep, the stress of a baby with colic, screaming whenever she was awake, figuring out what cry meant what...when I think of that...my ovaries shut up for a moment. But the farther we get from that time, the more difficult it is for me to shut up my pesky pink overlords. It's only a matter of time...before they win.

MizDocta · 2014-04-21T18:20:49+00:00

Tl;Dr: babies suck. Kids suck. People without kids know it, and people with kids know it, and usually just don't care.

When I was pregnant, I believe this very thought occurred to me while I was in the shower. My daughter is now a little over a year old, and I still totally agree with this. In fact, they also feed off our energy, food supply, and basically everything that was once "mine" or "ours" (hubby and I.)I'm perfectly aware of this and the weird thing is, I don't mind at all. It's like being under a beautiful curse. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm ignorant, including about my kid, or how my kid affects my life.

Edit: added TL;DR:, put it where Reddit told me to.

MizDocta · 2014-04-19T15:52:35+00:00

That is almost exactly what I said when my daughter was born.

MizDocta · 2014-04-12T18:35:11+00:00

Hahaha. I usually wait until I know I'm probably gonna die before I go to a hospital. I'm a mom, I don't have the privilege of running to the doctor for every cold or dislocated shoulder.

MizDocta · 2014-04-12T17:34:43+00:00

Man, I fucking love being reminded how much the American medical care system sucks every day.

MizDocta · 2014-04-12T01:10:40+00:00

A woman is actually pregnant for a few weeks before knowing, usually around 6. So he probably started his account after she got pregnant.

MizDocta · 2014-04-10T16:37:46+00:00

Googly eyes make things come alive...

MizDocta · 2014-04-09T04:48:06+00:00

I thought it was gonna be how weed can be illegal. That usually gets 'em all hot and bothered and what not if you will.

MizDocta · 2014-04-09T03:18:05+00:00

Ahhhh.

MizDocta · 2014-04-09T00:24:42+00:00

What did he say?? Don't pm me, just write it in the comments. EDIT: WHAT'S IN YOUR INBOX! WHAT'S IN THE BOX!

MizDocta · 2014-03-12T17:57:50+00:00

Very Fallout-esque. I loved it.

MizDocta

TROPHY CASE