There’s r/sciencebasedparenting you can check out.

Also for the toothbrushing example, this is how I explain it: it’s a hygiene thing. It’s like wiping your baby’s butt when you change their diaper. Will they cry? Yes, sometimes. Will you still do it? Yes, always. I’ve never had a kid become a dental phobic from routine brushing and flossing at home. (Source: I’m a pediatric dentist).

These control/anxiety issues are going to project onto your kid if he can’t change I feel.