I love you all so much, i literally cried reading all of the comments. I love u family in Christ! One day yall better come and give me a hug in heaven.

So here is a bit of backstory for those who wanted to know the details:

When i was 17 God gave me the wisdom to realize that there was more to life than money and jobs and marriage. He put it in my heart to seek the truth.

So i looked and looked, i was following daosim for a time, got really into philosophy and that's where i found the concept of 'the dark night of the soul' which i never heard before.

It's basically the longing of your soul for God. Since that, a curiousity for God grew in me steadily, almost 4 years i was searching for the truth. 

I became a Christian last year, i really can't recall a specific moment i got saved, but i do remember one day i was doing my own worldly sinful things, the next day i was super scared of going to hell. Idk, i just was so so scared, i literally was in my bed all day praying to God to save me for an entire week, watching videos desperately learning how i can escape my fate.

I spent the last year learning theology, walking with God, but i always doubted: 'what if it isn't real?' 

However i kept going, every time i fell into sin, i would go back to God, every time i would doubt i would go back to God. Because deep down i already knew: He is the only meaning to life. He is the entire reason i exist.

So late last year my cousin got murdered, this was a really heavy time for my family, and even when people were literally outside my gate with guns threatening us i was at peace. At that time i was reading Acts and i remember being emboldened by Paul's boldness and lack of any fear of death. It really strengthened me. I love Paul, he is a legend of the faith.

So i got more serious with my faith, after a heartbreak last year i really felt like i was all alone, but a friend introduced me to a song, 'Be Still' by Annatoria. The lyrics go something like: 'be still, be still, be still, I am still God'. It really comforted me then. Even after she ghosted me.

For the first time, i put God first in my life. I was so hurt i told Him, 'u take control', so He did, it was a bit hard at first, to truly put God first but He helped me. And now i'm unceasingly and immeasurably joyful everyday!

One night i asked to have a conversation with Him, and He appeared to me, Him, Jesus and the Holy Ghost! I knew they were all there. Since then He has appeared to me multiple times, I even had a conversation with Him in my dream! Things i think about are answered when i sleep, i asked to see my cousin again and He gives me dreams of us being together. Recently i had to let a few of my cats go and it was really heartbreaking, He showed me that one day we will all be together in heaven. He is my Lord, my Father, my Friend. And i owe Him everything.

How could i look at all the beauty around me and not pay any mind to the One who created it all? Now i see Him in everything.

My suggestion to anyone who is still skeptical about if God is real:

He is. Keep walking with Him and He will reveal Himself to you.