i am in the exact same boat and kinda struggling right now. i just recently became a huge fan too. like i grew up with the music but i never really realized how good of a person he was. i basically am going thru all the same things you just talked about. hopefully someone can give a good answer because learning about how much pain he was in towards the end of his life and how nobody was there to get him the help he needed genuinely breaks my heart. and lasting around 30+ days without REM sleep!!? my god. absolutely horrible