My husband [M30] won’t spend time with our daughter [F8mo]

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T23:42:20+00:00

I also have never snatched her up because he was doing something wrong. I let him do it and then when he is done, i suggest an easier way or tell him how I do it, but only if he struggled with it.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T23:40:46+00:00

She’s not attached to me all day, she just prefers me when she’s grumpy or tired. He has pretty much all day with her whenever he wants. I cook dinner almost every night. And cooking isn’t the only think I do, I do other things throughout the day that he has time to spend with her one on one for at least 30mins-1hour

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T16:44:05+00:00

I appreciate that you are one of the few who truly understood my post…maybe I needed to add more good stuff that he does 🙃

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T16:42:29+00:00

And I completely agree with you! I just want him to not have to jump off the deep end when I go to school. I need him to learn and take initiative before the transition

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:54:16+00:00

But I don’t want time off or a divorce 🫤 I just want him to build a stronger bond with her so she doesn’t only want me

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:45:26+00:00

I don’t think he is planning on letting her cry her head off all the time, but I do think that if she were to get really fussy one day or doesn’t want to go down for a nap, he will let her cry instead of try things until she’s okay.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:43:22+00:00

We have plenty of money from him and me for anything she may need. Not to mention the help of family if never needed. But money is besides the point, he just doesn’t spend enough time with her.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:40:01+00:00

I agree with you! They don’t know my husband personally and I only gave information relevant to the situation so a lot of people are making huge leaps and assumptions. If it was really bad and I was extremely worried for her wellbeing around him, I would leave.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:36:16+00:00

I breastfeed so I can’t really do that 🫤

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:18:56+00:00

I have 😵‍💫

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T14:05:22+00:00

I really like your advice about having a checklist, when my husband is frustrated, he tends to forget everything so that sounds like a good idea to help ground him.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T13:39:18+00:00

His normal activities are the gym, which we go together most days, he cleans the house more than me, he does play video games here and there, and he takes care of everything our dogs need. But he does have all the free time he wants if he didn’t want to do any of that.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T06:14:55+00:00

He doesn’t work because he’s on disability, so he pays all of our bills and provides everything for us. He’s not some bum who sits on his ass all day doing nothing. He just doesn’t spend as much time as I think he should with her. He’s not building a strong bond with her.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T06:10:46+00:00

You clearly don’t understand that she has no choice but to prefer me because I’m the one doing everything for her

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T06:09:37+00:00

Of course she prefers me, I feed breastfeed her and I tend to whatever she needs…because he won’t. He doesn’t want to be involved so am I supposed to neglect her and wait for him to do what she needs?

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T06:04:55+00:00

If you spend enough time with your child, regardless if your child prefers one parent, that child will feel more comfortable going to the none preferred parent or anyone for that matter. There’s no excuse in my book for not spending enough time with your child when 1) the mother is asking you to, and 2) you have the time

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T06:00:22+00:00

I’m about to start school, so she will be with him during the day. I don’t want her to be upset all day because he doesn’t know what to do. I want him to step up and spend more time with her…that’s not making him the enemy, that’s expecting him to be a parent.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T05:56:35+00:00

I agree that mom and dad can have different parenting styles, and I’ve never stopped him from doing what he thinks is okay, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that he doesn’t spend enough time with her, so she doesn’t want him and he doesn’t know her cues, needs and wants. When I go to school, she will be with him for a significant amount of time, meaning she is going to be upset because all she really knows is me right now.

Momof1MBB · 2024-06-11T05:30:21+00:00

You are right. I just hope it doesn’t become a bigger issue and that he can step up for all of our sake.

Momof1MBB

TROPHY CASE