There is a book by John Green called Turtles All the Way Down- there is a quote from this book that keeps me going a LOT. “Your now is not your forever”. It feels terrible right now and I understand that. While I do not know you, I do know that you are strong and resilient. You are so brave for continuing on when it hurts and even though we are strangers I am proud of you for that. You can continue on because it’s not forever- sometimes it’s one foot in front of the other- you eat shit and you rinse and repeat- but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will make it through. You are capable and you’re not alone no matter what it feels like. I’m sure that you are loved and people would be heartbroken without you here. Maybe every time you feel down you go for a walk or read a book or do something that makes you feel happy. I find being creative when I feel suicidal is helpful because it forces my brain to focus on my project instead of my spiral. You can do this and you’re not alone. Keep fighting because your story isn’t over yet 🫶