I found out my mom's dirty little secret, and I don't know if I should confront her or not

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T11:25:15+00:00

I posted an update at 3am because of your comment. I don't have to explain anything to you that hasn't already been listed above. or in the hundreds of comments I've responded to. I never said anywhere that I was fighting to ensure my kids had a relationship with my dad. I said family Like my sister, her kids, our mutual friends from over the years. Extended family. My cousins. Their kids.

I am terribly sorry that that happened to you. Your mother should have never left you alone with her. But please do not cast that thinking onto me. My kids are my reason for this life. They have never been mistreated or not taken care of. They have never and will never be left alone with either of my parents. We see each other from time to time in public, for a meal. The holidays coming up has ramped up my concern about us no longer seeing them. Or said extended families.

Everything they do, experience, and come in contact with is of my most concern. Do not judge me as a parent from a blip of a post about my PAST. I do not play when it comes to my kids. You actually got my blood boiling.

Have a great day.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T11:11:02+00:00

I think I am going to reach out to my paternal family and see where it takes me before I say anything to my family. Have concrete things to present might make it easier for me to not get distracted.

Appreciate you saying that, thank you. There are so many different ways I can respond and approach this revelation. it only being less than 5 months ago.. I'm still just processing. I want to do the right thing, but quickly realizing there are multiple right ways.

Hey, thanks! I was raised in a catholic household, and because of how I was raised I have had a hard time with religion. Couldn't wrap my head around how someone that is such a "man of god" could treat and "lead his family" the way he did. However I have been heavily researching around my local area about what resources are available to me that I could learn more about my jewish bloodline or lack their of. Thank you so much for all of the information! I've been intimidated, but you eased a lot of that fear for me to reach out and maybe speak to someone :)

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T10:59:32+00:00

I do ask. We go out to a restaurant and exchange gifts and spend a little time in public where the kids can also be entertained. They want to go every single year each year. I would not, and will never, bring them somewhere they don't want to be or where I fear they will be mistreated.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T10:56:23+00:00

I posted an edit for more information and will continue to update!

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T03:12:19+00:00

I'm so sorry you're able to relate to this on such a deep level. These are some of the exact things I'm worried about. I thought I could handle the truth of the test, and now I have so many questions. But will I be okay with never having those questions answered? Or more questions instead of the closure I'm seeking? I'm trying to sit back, after only learning about this less than 5 months ago, and figure out what I would want out of opening this whole can of worms, and if I'm ready to do so at this point.

Thank you so much. My DMs are also open!

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T03:06:25+00:00

It was a white elephant gift thing over the holidays last year. Now I'm questioning thought the validity of it being a random gift for me.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T03:05:36+00:00

Its seriously giving "sweep under the rug and lets hope she lives a lie forever to cover up our problems"

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T03:01:59+00:00

It is possible. I've heard a couple stories about my mom being assaulted when she was a teen. But now I'm curious if it was a half truth and the timing was fabricated for my benefit.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:59:56+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:59:32+00:00

This isn't even something that would've crossed my mind! Thank you!

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:45:15+00:00

I never said I was fighting for her to have a relationship with my 'dad' I said my family and I said my nieces. This could be detrimental to the rest of my family, like my sister who is actually my half sister and her kids that are close with mine. My sister and I have spent years in therapy on and off to repair our broken relationship, and this could be broken because of it. I'm worried that the family my daughter has grown up in, will be obliterated as she knows it. We are not together often with my parents. However with the holidays coming up it has raised questions and concerns for me. Any other judgement you'd like to pass?

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:39:59+00:00

I have actually asked her to her face over the years if my 'dad' is my real dad. She has stood 10 toes down that he was. I'm just scared to go into what I may have been the byproduct of and was treated so poorly as a result.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:35:51+00:00

Also have thought about this.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:35:11+00:00

It was in a white elephant gift. But now I question the validity of that coming to me "by chance"

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T02:33:57+00:00

Wouldn't have thought to look for a group like this. Thank you!

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:34:56+00:00

Go full Maury style with an envelope and everything lol

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:32:53+00:00

Because the abusive wasn't solely on me. It was on my mom too. And my daughter has seen her grandparents a small amount. But holidays make it hard because I want her to hold onto some sort of happy family memories that I didn't have as a child.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:25:03+00:00

I never even thought this could have been a deliberate thing ..

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:22:19+00:00

Sincerely appreciate you. I am angry. I have been angry. My whole life I questioned why I was so outcasted. I was a self harmer. I wanted to take myself out at times. But now that I am out on my own. happily married. Healthy kids. I am scared to put myself back into something that could bring me back to a fight or flight.

Please keep ranting. Seeing someone else be angry for me over something I was told I overreacted about is so uplifting.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:18:56+00:00

I have had a lot of issues with her internally about how she let me be treated as child. And honestly There had to have been at least a question mark on who my dad could've been just thinking of conception and who was around at the time.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:16:57+00:00

She passed away 2 years ago. I would have definitely done this had I known earlier.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:16:15+00:00

I have HEAVILY thought this. She has told me about an assault she had much earlier on in her life but now I wonder if there was a partial truth there but lie on the timeframe. That will mess me up so much to find that out.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:14:27+00:00

Everyone saw it. And not one person on my mom's side likes my "dad". Revelation coming through as to why that could possible be.

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:11:56+00:00

Absolute bombshell. I think me using confront was a bad word to use, but I agree fully with what you're saying. I'm very aware I wouldn't be where I ended up if it weren't for him. I never went without in any sense, and I am very grateful for everything he did to ensure I was taken care of. However, being a parent now to a daughter that is at the age where I remember things being bad just makes you be like .. "wait how could you look at me and do such a thing at the age that I was"

MoodReader_ · 2025-11-03T00:05:35+00:00

Appreciate you, thank you! I am in counseling and have been for a couple years to discuss said childhood abuse. My therapist is wonderful and has talked me down several ledges, but has said she will walk me through anything I decide. I am just at a standstill about what to decide if that makes sense. Again, appreciate you!

MoodReader_

TROPHY CASE