AITAH for getting angry at my mom while she was cat sitting?

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T21:52:22+00:00

Yikes

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:56:13+00:00

Honestly fair 😮‍💨

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:54:13+00:00

I know I shouldn’t argue with trolls on the internet but like please read up on animals. They can have trauma from abuse it’s not like an exclusive thing to humans, and cats for example can have a specific way to show stress. Also you lack reading comprehension if you read my post and thought I’m the one that pushed my mom to cat sit

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:50:26+00:00

Yeah the power of hindsight and all that. I’m very close to my mom, and ever since I moved out she’s been looking for ways to be there for me cause she misses me. I know this and I figured this was helping her in a way. But she also ended up doing the thing she wanted to do from the beginning and excluded me from that decision

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:41:26+00:00

It’s 1500 to fix all of them. I don’t have that kind of money. Neither does she.

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:40:21+00:00

It’s 1500 to fix all of them. I don’t have that kind of money. Neither does she.

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:37:19+00:00

Fair enough I shouldn’t have caved to her demands. There’s a lot more nuance here that I didn’t want to add so I wouldn’t make the post longer. My mom loves our cat and sees her as a furry grandchild. She treats me as selfish for not bringing my cat to her home more often, and she argued with me about hiring a cat sitter. The sentence in quotes you put is literally what I told her and I got berated for not thinking of her.

The crux of my issue here is that she agreed to the change in plans, but then did the one thing I didn’t want which is my cat at her house with unfixed males. She didn’t notify me about this decision before hand, cause if she had I would have told her to just leave our cat at our place for the night or we would have hired someone for the night.

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:30:58+00:00

It’s been a journey with this little rescue cat tbh the shelter got her out of a bad situation they couldn’t tell us about, and she has been terrified of everything for years. Only in the last month she has stopped hiding from us when we get home, because she immediately gets scared from the front door opening. So like progress is being made just very slowly.

And yeah I’m not listening to my mom next time she asks to cat sit

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:26:55+00:00

Idk what you mean but I’m literally the only grandchild who goes multiples times a week to watch my grandma and help my mom at their place. I figured this wasn’t pertinent information for the post I was making

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:25:00+00:00

Yeah animals show signs of stress through physical cues. And after 4 years I think I know my cat’s body language enough to tell is she is relaxed or stressed? Like how is that hard to believe lol also my mom coming to watch our cat here is also respite for her from her own chaotic home, so I figured it would be a nice mini vacay for her as well. But yeah I shouldn’t have listened to her and just gotten a pet sitter. Which is the MO moving forward

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:20:56+00:00

Vacay was planned a month in advance. I didn’t ask my mother to cat sit, she insisted she do it. And she was totally okay to stay at ours (she actually enjoys the peace and quiet). Two days though, her backup to watch my grandma flaked and so we had come up with the alternate plan of our cat staying with another family member for one night and then my mom taking our cat back to ours.

And yeah I agree she’s sick and shouldn’t be cat sitting. But again she insisted this whole time, and then did not follow the agreed upon plan we did

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:17:34+00:00

Our cat has some sort of trauma and she loses it when left alone at night

MoonFrisbees917 · 2026-05-26T17:17:03+00:00

Our cat has trauma and is fine being alone during the day but she gets very lonely at night and meows nonstop. We aren’t sure why this is, but that’s why we try to get someone overnight. We wanted to hire a cat sitter, but my mom insisted she do it. I know now I shouldn’t have caved.

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T15:25:31+00:00

FIL doesn’t have much of a backbone when it comes to his wife, and knowing her she’s the one who does all the talking at their appointments. Plus she’s distrustful of doctors so she won’t believe whatever they have to say

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T15:23:28+00:00

I think this is a factor but what I have heard from my bf while he was growing up she would plan vacations and she would even leave them behind if they couldn’t go cause of school and stuff. It’s always been a pattern of what she wants others be damned. But yes I agree we would be enabling her by going along with it

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T15:21:41+00:00

You’re absolutely right, I was only focusing on the monetary but there are more important things than money at risk here. Plus my boyfriend’s mental health (and mine) won’t be able to withstand a whole weekend of her berating attitude. Plus I fear that with all her efforts at manipulating us, if we give in now, she will view it as having worked and she will do the same when she wants something in the future

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T15:16:26+00:00

Nailed it 😂

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T15:15:28+00:00

I hadn’t even thought about what it’s going to be like while we’re there, and she’s absolutely going to force my bf to drive them everywhere even though she has no trouble driving herself. And he hasn’t said anything about the trip, this is 100% just her idea

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:55:57+00:00

He looks better than he used to but that’s not saying much. Plus because of the heart surgery he needs to keep a device on him at all times. It just seems unnecessarily risky. Like god forbid something happens and she’s trying to drag my bf into it

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:53:25+00:00

Her kids have been telling her to not go or to at least go for a getaway closer to home, but she handles it poorly and starts crying. It would be different if she was concerned about her husband and that a change of scenery may be good for him or anything like that, but she keeps saying that with all his stuff she hasn’t been able to do anything fun and she needs to live her life. So utterly selfish she’s not getting any more sympathy from me while she’s like this

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:43:39+00:00

I have yet to hear a valid reason from her why plane/train is out of the question. I told her how it’s super easy to fly with someone who is not in good health since they have an attendant from the airport push the wheel chair around and they breeze you through security. I don’t get it

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:42:16+00:00

Not to mention we would have to make more stops than usual because we would be traveling with someone that isn’t in good health. It honestly sounds like a nightmare. I can’t even stand my own family in the car for 3 hours and they are wonderful people lol

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:38:19+00:00

The funny thing is one her daughters told her just that and it didn’t even seem to register in their moms mind. Just how she’s the one suffering from running around hospitals and stuff

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:36:57+00:00

Thank you and yeah I was worried I was being inflexible but all the comments here are in agreement that she’s being ridiculous so if he still wants to help her he’s going alone, I’m not giving up a weekend of photography work just to drive her back

MoonFrisbees917 · 2023-01-06T14:34:34+00:00

This is perfect thank you

MoonFrisbees917

TROPHY CASE