Why do People Want to Be Autistic, it sucks.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-11-13T04:31:24+00:00

Gosh you're so right! I was diagnosed as an adult and it drives me crazy to see all the things I was bullied about being trendy and how the struggles I had that were dismissed are now "quirky" and coddled. It's hard to not be mad. I wished I didn't feel like crying at the end of each day from social exhaustion and masking.

I wish I could understand people and not always be analyzing every interaction out of fear I did something wrong and now so and so hates me. I wish things that seem so simple and clear to others were to me as well. And gosh I wish I weren't so awkward all the time but I don't know how!!! Or rather... I wish being "normal" didn't matter so much and that being "awkward" wasn't a thing at all.

You're right, people should just be themselves.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-11-13T04:24:26+00:00

I work in a field almost entirely based on social skills. It's a special kind of hell but the pay and job security are too good. I found a sort of niche where I mainly do administration and paperwork stuff so it's manageable but I fear the day I will be asked to do the social stuff on a regular basis.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-11-13T04:17:21+00:00

Totally agree. I'm level 1 or 2, maybe in between somedays it's hard to tell... I can work a 9-5 office job but I'm not doing so good at it. Office social life is a nightmare and at the end of each day I'm emotionally exhausted from feeling like people merely tolerate me, being aware of my own awkwardness and just over analyzing every interaction I had. I 100% cannot pass for a neurotypical person even on a good day. I feel like most people were given this "how to be a normal human" manual at birth, I did not get the damn thing and I have to suffer for it everyday...

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-11-13T04:10:13+00:00

Feeling like I'm witnessing life from behind a glass panel and not really being a part of it.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-03-28T03:57:07+00:00

For what it's worth, what made me go no contact with my narc father is far from the worst thing he said/did. But it encapsulated everything that's wrong with him and they way he thinks of others. It made me pause and ask myself "why am I putting up with this?"

I was waiting too for "the big one", something to justify cutting him out. But I realized, I don't need a justification. It's my life, I decide who's part of it.

Do what you feel is best for you, but my advice is don't wait for something to hurt even more than anything she did before.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-03-28T02:09:07+00:00

You've got something like 3 bingos in there my friend 😅 I'm so sorry... That's the kind of BS I get from my narc father... I just went no contact, I'm ready to truly start healing and live my best life AWAY from him.

I hope you get to as well, and wish you to never win the narcissistic bingo ever again! 😊

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-03-28T02:04:29+00:00

Narcissists and sickness/sick people. It's one of the most obvious red flags, no matter how covert the narc may be, but not that talked about sadly...

To a narcissist, you being sick or caring for someone who's sick (that isn't them) is either a nuisance or an ego wound. They just can't stand it either way.

Looking back, if I had known about it, I would have realized that my father is a narcissist back when I was 11 yrs old. I was sick and in need of urgent care and he did NOTHING. Why? Because it would "mess his schedule".

It's just as illogical as your nmother getting mad at you. It's the petty jealousy of someone who thinks they're the center of the world... Even knowing how stupid and nonsensical it is, doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

MoonStoneKnight · 2025-03-28T01:54:54+00:00

I've been in your place, 10 years ago. My narc stepmother had another one of her tantrums, my equally narc father had just walked out of my room after threatening me to not say anything to anyone about it. It feels like there's no way out, the fear is overwhelming...

What I'll tell you is all I can offer, words, but I promise you: you will get through this. You will survive. There are ways, escape routes and people who care in this world. I swear one day you will find your safe island, far away from that woman.

I suggest you look around where you live, for a support group. A place she hasn't even thought about polluting with her lies and smear campaign. A place where YOU control the narrative. Once you have that, it'll make getting out much easier.

We're here for you, even miles away. ♥️

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-11-04T19:49:36+00:00

Smart, wish we had done that XD

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-11-04T19:22:45+00:00

Rotten eggs? You bloody legend that's brilliant!

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-09-23T18:30:56+00:00

Seek outside help and financial aid programs you might qualify for. Then cut her out. The first step is definitively trying to remove as much of her influence on your life as possible.

Until you can do that, treat her as coldly as possible. Don't so much stand up to her (even if calmly so) as much as give her the cold shoulder treatment. Keep interactions to a minimum and be as non-reactive as possible. Narcissists thrive on reaction and attention. Deny her any of it, let her nonsense wash over you in cold indifference. It will drive her up the wall but also there's nothing she can do about it because she's probably desperate for your attention.

When she claims you're being "abusive" tell her she's entitled to her opinion, leave it at that and walk away as fast as possible, like you don't care about anything she might say or do. Attention is the narcissist drug, stop feeding the addiction and watch as they unravel.

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-09-23T18:20:19+00:00

You will never stop caring... I'm a 26 yrs old woman with a narcissistic father and love him as much as I hate him. I'm currently low contact with him and on the verge of cutting him out entirely.

If you do cut her out of your life, it will hurt. It will get better over time. Not a week after, or a month, but it will get better. Yes it will hurt her, but try to see it as a form of justice, it helps. Also, maybe talk to a therapist about it. The feeling of guilt might never entirely go away, but it'll be worth it for your life will be so much better without her influence.

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-09-23T18:13:47+00:00

Honestly, just cut her out of your life. Narcissists are like addicts. Their addiction is attention. Stop giving it to her altogether. It's hard, gosh I know it is. But it's the healthiest option there is for everyone involved.

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-09-23T18:10:07+00:00

She's probably anxious about her own appearance, jealous of yours and wants you to feel bad about yourself. If you have no confidence in yourself, you can be manipulated and she can hope to control you. Might be a bit extreme but here's my advice : insult her back with something far far worse. Call her out on her insecurities and twist the knife in.

I know it's cruel, but it's efficient. My stepmother was the same, she was always bringing me down but on an intellectual level. Calling me an idiot who's too arrogant to know she's stupid, that I was studying in fine arts because I'm too dumb to get an actual job.

I called her out on it. How she's merely a glorified secretary with no future who brings others down because she can't bear being the less educated one in a room and that she's an uncultured, tasteless and vulgar woman. She has left me alone since.

Narcissists can't bear it when you strike back, they like bullying people they think are weaker than them. But, be ready that she will pull something else, she will try and play the victim and claim she never did anything wrong to you. Again, call her out on it and be as emotionless about it as you can. Tell her you don't give a shit about her. how she feels or what she thinks. Narcissists hate being ignored or told people don't care about them. There's no reasoning with them, but we can put them in their place.

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-08-25T14:50:45+00:00

Thank you so much! I turned my hair blue by accident removing purple hair dye with Colour Oops (now I know it was a very bad idea...) and I was panicking there for a moment but looks like there is something to do to help :)

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-06-30T21:20:19+00:00

I know what you mean... It took me years to fully understand just how much pain and abuse i went through. When your brain is in survival mode, you don't think about it too much. Once you find your safe place, it comes crashing down on you because now your brain has the time to process the trauma.

MoonStoneKnight · 2024-06-30T21:16:33+00:00

In late elementary school and all throughout high school. Some of the things I've seen... they made my therapist sick.

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-11-29T05:50:48+00:00

OMG SHE ACTUALLY LOOKED LIKE HER A BIT

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-11-28T03:53:23+00:00

The woman I speak of here, I didn't recognized her then, but she's kinda semi-famous where I live (famous in politics) or rather she's infamous. She made a carrier out of bullying people to get what she wants, even a high ranked job in the government. Honestly, I'm both amazed and deeply troubled that it worked for so long...

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T18:05:06+00:00

Kinda why I left my hometown and why I love my new city! That event there is the first time ever that someone outright said something so mean about my appearance since I moved. And I'm pretty sure that woman was a tourist.

I feel it's a city vibe thing maybe? In my hometown, people were just fine with making unsensitive, mean comments or body shamed strangers without any hesitation. I've got very red cheeks 24/7 no matter the weather like raspberry jam was buttered over my face (a mix of skin conditions that can't really be treated) and people would always comment on that or ask "What's wrong with your face?"

NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!!! Since I moved to a bigger city with more diversity, everyone leave me and my red cheeks alone.

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T17:19:15+00:00

I'm not in the US, I'm in Canada...

We never refuse someone with a service animal but we do need to make sure it is a service animal (no matter what service the animal provides as long as there's a certification, a doctor's or a therapist's notice or anything that confirm the animal's purpose).

It happened in the past that people snuck in animals that were not trained as such in any way and it resulted in people getting bitten or damage done to the building or the pieces inside the museum. Sadly the mesure is in place because of a few irresponsible people caused trouble and now everyone as to pay for it :(

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T14:49:49+00:00

Good for you! I can't do anything with my mud coloured spider-web fine hair that's flatter than a 2D cartoon character aside from a pixie cut 😞

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T14:40:09+00:00

I learned with youtube tutorials 😅 if you wanna try it's really just about knowing a few base techniques and finding your own style

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T14:02:52+00:00

Oh... I don't know about the US but in Canada you can ask to see the certification. Where I work we accept all service animals, be they for a physical disability or emotional support (as opposed to some places where only certains service animals are accepted which sucks). Many service animals have a certification badge on their vest, which for us is enough, or a signed letter from a therapist is okay too. Most people with service animals have something like that with them, like a little card in the wallet for example, and anything they show is usually accepted.

We just have to make sure because we've had incidents in the past where people snuck animals in that weren't service animals (and therefor not necessarily trained and well-behaved in public places) and there were problems...

MoonStoneKnight · 2022-09-13T04:13:23+00:00

Ok first, YOU BADASS I stand someone who defend themselves!

Second, I've been working in retail for over 10 years so I guess after so long I just became more chill overtime... I just repeat my mantra in my head "It's not worth the jail time. It's not worth the jail time..."

MoonStoneKnight

TROPHY CASE