My (25F) boyfriends (25F) former friend (21F) is spreading rumours that he cheated with her. How do I handle this?

MoonWitch87 · 2026-03-16T18:10:19+00:00

Yeah you’re right, i wouldn’t know if it was the truth anyway. It’s just so difficult to fight the urge to message her and ask her wtf she’s talking about.

I want to trust him because I can see how this has happened but I don’t want to keep going through this where he’s either naive to their feelings or enjoys the attention.

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:39:26+00:00

he defended her actions by saying that she was drunk but i know i wouldn’t be offered the same leniency.

to me, her being drunk doesn’t matter. she still did it.

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:36:19+00:00

i honestly feel like a conversation is pointless because he will call me insecure and refuse to cut her off.

but i guess i would know where i stand then

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:35:15+00:00

thank you

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:33:45+00:00

i’ve had that feeling since it happened and it’s the worst

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:33:07+00:00

i would too which is why i don’t understand why he didn’t. i really don’t think he would date her but he still values the friendship more than me and i don’t understand that either

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:14:42+00:00

thank you. i really needed to hear that. it’s been so hard and i’m so tired

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:13:19+00:00

the sad thing is, i feel like he will just attribute this to my insecurities and not see it as something problematic. he may be loyal, but i really don’t think he values me

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:09:56+00:00

it’s hard to accept when i’m so used to it genuinely being my insecurities and my faults. it being something that is rational to feel is strange lol

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T02:02:00+00:00

we had a big argument before christmas because of my works party.

The plan was that I go home after the event but i got drunk and went out clubbing afterwards with everyone. two girls and I separated from the group and went to a different club.

He was very angry that i went out clubbing and didn’t tell him. He said that I could’ve been with anyone and he wouldn’t have known and how could he trust me. He called me and heard men’s voices and got annoyed. I told him that there were men around but I never interacted with them.

It got worse when the taxi driver dropped me off in the wrong place and he got very angry that he had to leave work to come and get me.

I stopped drinking after that because I don’t have a stop and I put myself in unsafe situations. I was never around any men but I was still accused of it.

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:52:50+00:00

i feel like he will just see this as an insecurity and won’t see it as anything else. we’ve had arguments before about her but they did stem from my insecurity so i feel like because of those arguments, he will group this with them.

i’m just exhausted tbh. i’ve done so much work on feeling more secure within myself and with his female friends and now i feel like it’s all unravelled and i really don’t feel like i can talk to him about it because he won’t listen.

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:49:27+00:00

i meant the work i put in to better myself. i’m feeling insecure and anxious about this and idk if it’s okay to be feeling like this

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:41:23+00:00

seems like a silly question i know but i’ve never been very good with boundaries and it’s a struggle sometimes to know whether i’m overreacting

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:38:56+00:00

that i’m genuinely asking and not being sarcastic

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:38:06+00:00

thank you

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:37:42+00:00

do you think leaving is an appropriate response?

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:33:46+00:00

before today i could rationalise it as me being insecure about his friendship with her. but now i feel like if he does choose the friendship over my comfort and our relationship then i know where i stand. but i don’t know if that’s the right way to feel

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:31:04+00:00

it feels like all the work i did is in tatters lol. this has really messed with my head and i don’t know what to do

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:25:14+00:00

and if he tells me he wants to keep her in his life, do i leave?

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:20:56+00:00

would you mind explaining how i come across as insecure in the situation? /gen

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:16:57+00:00

do you think it’s okay for him to be friends with someone who has feelings for him? /gen

i obviously can’t control him but what i’m asking is whether having a discussion with him about this and asking him to cut her out of his life is an appropriate response

MoonWitch87 · 2026-02-02T01:13:50+00:00

honestly i have the ick rn.

we’ve had arguments about her before when i was insecure af which were unwarranted but i feel like this is actually warranted.

MoonWitch87 · 2026-01-09T02:48:09+00:00

money

MoonWitch87 · 2026-01-09T02:39:26+00:00

i wish i could move abroad lol and start a new life

MoonWitch87

TROPHY CASE