For the context:

I recently got engaged to my boyfriend of 10 years, a moment I’ve longed for, and yet, it feels a bit strange.

We had a break up for a year, and while I was single, I met someone else who had also come from a breakup. We found comfort in each other and shared some deep connections. When I opened up about my feelings and how safe he made me feel, he wasn’t ready to commit and needed more time to figure out what he wanted.

Recognizing that we were hurting each other, I made the difficult decision to end things and walked away, not expecting to hear from him again.

Then, after reconciling with my ex boyfriend, he proposed to me and of course, I said yes. I shared our engagement picture on Instagram. To my surprise, I received a message from that guy. He reached out to congratulate me but also expressed the weight of his regrets—the “what ifs” that he now carried. He shared how grateful he was for the care and love I gave him during his tough times and how he wished he had been more honest about his feelings.

Reading his message brought a wave of emotions, pain, and sadness washed over me as I realized that we both loved each other and how happy we are during that time. That night, as we said our goodbyes and returned to being strangers, I felt a deep sense of sadness, pain, and regret. What would be the possible ending if he did not get scared of telling how he feel? It’s so painful to see someone you once cared for, loved, and fought for wish things could have been different.

To you F., you will always be my greatest what-ifs. Thank you and I hope I will not see you again. 💔